funnygirl2

Ok a therapist told me I needed assertiveness training.

I started reading up about it. If someone has annoyed me, I use "I feel" statements, refer to their bad behaviour, not their personality (I'll say "I feel annoyed when you do X/Y/Z" instead of "you're so lazy" or whatever). The al-anon programme has helped me keep calm and not react.

Is there anything else I should be doing to be assertive? I am a bit confused, all the therapist said was get assertiveness training. I thought it was therapist lingo for "get a grip" and I just thought "screw you, I will do this myself" and thats what I've been doing since. Maybe that was an over-reaction but it was my kneejerk reaction at the time.

I've brainstormed ideas in my head and what I've come up with is just put myself in as many situations outside of my comfort zone as I can. Also go to Toastmasters but I actually like public speaking so don't know if that's necessary. Don't particularly want to do volunteer work/charity work, done that before its rewarding but I want something that will increase my skill set (something that is acredited really) as well as help boost my assertiveness.

I tend to a bit unassertive around men more so than anything so this is obviously a problem area. I'm a small girl so I'm wondering whether something physical like kickboxing would help? I think it would help to feel I could physically defend myself too if I needed to.

What have people done here that has helped them be more assertive? Has anyone any other suggestions? I would appreciate some feedback thanks