kittenkaboodle

I have an 18 yr old who's been an addict (mostly Heroin/Roxies) for five years. She shoots up the drugs. She's been in six treatment centers for a total of two years. She's prostituted herself on the internet. She's been to NA meetings and counselors. She's been in jail over 15 times and has overdosed twice. Her last overdose was three weeks ago. She had pulmonary edema and was in intensive care for six days. She almost died. She used five days after leaving the hospital. She's gone months without using while in treatment and uses within days of her release. I've made her leave my home because my rules are no drug use while living with me. I love her more than life itself, but don't know what I can do for her anymore. She's a vagabond now, drifting from dope hole to dope hole. I won't take her calls and asked her to leave my property when she came home stoned a few days ago. I'm trying to think positive, so I don't manifest a bad result, but deep down I think she's going to be dead within a few months. How do I help someone who refuses help? How can I save her? She's such a good girl, but she doesn't believe that.

We ran out of money, so our resources are limited now.

kittenkaboodle

I'm posting this in the drug users' forum instead of family of users' forum because I want to hear opinions from addicts and what would have helped them. ..what their parents can do or should do. How does one help an addict who doesn't want help and is dying. Thank you.

Dee74

Welcome Kittenkaboodle

I have no experience with this - I just wanted to let you know you and your daughter are in my prayers.

I understand your reasons for posting here, but I hope you'll look at our Family and Friends forums too - there's a real wealth of wisdom there from people who are or have been through exactly what you're going through.

D

tbeit

Im so sorry about your AD. M<y opinion is treatment I realize she has been but she needs more. That doesnt mean you need to go broke. I'm sure she is doing criminal acts to support her addiction and probably has warrants. Does she have a probation person maybe a call to that person. Everybody has different bottoms perhaps hers is in jail.
Have you been to alanon that would be a good place to start. The F&F forum has "stickies" at the top read them lots of info there. Peace

kittenkaboodle

She's off probation and she refuses anymore treatment. She doesn't qualify for free treatment for another six months anyway.
Thx...

PreciousThings

Hello Kitten,
Been a lurker here for months, but u have inspired me to post a response. I am a mother of 3 girls. My eldest, just reached her teenage years; and I am an addict. Ny username embodies my DOC and my girls.

I am currently 4 weeks on suboxone treatment because I couldnt quit CT nor go away to rehab. I wont bug u with my story, but I will give u as much advice as an addict AND as a mother.

What u need to know is that u did all u could do. You are grasping at a straw that is not going to give. Your heart is aching, but she will only get help when she wants to.

I'm sure it's no comfort because our 'momma instincts' want to protect our cubs. Please know that u r doing the right thing. You have done a tremendous job in standing by her in treatment, as well as deny enabling her when she uses. Unfortunately, that seems to be all that u can do right now. God willing, she will see that her life isnt a life at all & welcome the help you have to offer. But until then, try to stay strong.

I dont know you, but you have certainly touched a part of me that made me want to reach out.

I'm new to this posting thing, but I hope it reaches u.

PreciousThings
Xo

Blood500

Hi, I am 24, starting shooting when I was 16 and I know for me at around your daughters age after I knew everyone let go completely, when it seemed I was beyond help going to jail, 10 plus rehabs, running the city of Detroit, overdosing, the complete sense of hopelessness, depression, loss, etc. came and it made me make that personal choice to change or at least attempt a change. For me it still took a couple yrs to fully surrender and get sober but those yrs I learned how to live as a sober young adult. No one could have told me other wise I had to do what it took and dig as deep as I did to even consider a whole hearted change. You sound like an amazing mother, I hope you can find some peace and understanding in knowing you truly could stop the world for her and it wouldn't stop the monster inside her from feeding into the next high. It takes what it takes, sad but true.