Really are you out there
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3
Really are you out there
so really here we are again
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So I cut and pasted this post I did in August and now it is November.....spouse had 18 months sober, we got through the "I need my space" thing or so I thought. Then to find out, he has been planning his release from probation to this extreme: using every pay chcek to buy crack just like a user only stashing it for the day he gets off. Now, literally thousands of dollars later, stash is gone, oh btw, it has been 30 days and guess where we are? "Baby, please, I'm done...can you just give me 10 bucks. 20?" Lost job, stole $1000 out of my bank account in the last 5 days, and he keeps coming back.....tonight, beat up by a crack dealer he owes money to, cell phone lost (some person called my number and said "I found this cell phone I swear") and unless I have him arrested, I am lost. Happy Holidays, yeah right....why do I continue.....it's not just about me but about an elderly, not well, set of parents(his) and a loving family that just can't figure this stuff out
I chose to fell sad today
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My spouse of 18 years is in recovery now for 16 months. A long road to get here. We have lived apart and together off and on through the last few years as he finally settled into recovery. We have moved slowly back into our life together and let me preface this to say, he is my soul mate, my best friend and awesome lover.
A couple of months ago, he started obsessively texting other people mostly women (most of whom are in AA) and started exhibiting the same sneaky behavior and manipulating he did when he was using. One in particular, and I, in a lapse of sanity, started treating him as I did when he was using....trying to catch him, stop him.....
Then I did the worst, I confronted both of them. The result? Not so good....so I realize my poor judgement and have changed my behavior to give him space for his program and I am working mine (alanon). I slipped, I think we all do, but as a counselor once told me, its ok to slip, its what you do to pick yourself back up that matters.
Last week he tells me he is detached from life and wants to move away and live by himself at least for a while. I feel like he has traded one addiction for another. I think I know the answer, and that is I need to let him go to figure things out on his own. I am just so sad......I want everything to be right again and I miss my best friend.
Recovery is so hard. He holds alot of resentments and can't seem to get a handle on it. Sometimes it is really hard for me to understand, but I want to be understanding and I hope for our life to come back together.
Today I chose to feel sad......
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So I cut and pasted this post I did in August and now it is November.....spouse had 18 months sober, we got through the "I need my space" thing or so I thought. Then to find out, he has been planning his release from probation to this extreme: using every pay chcek to buy crack just like a user only stashing it for the day he gets off. Now, literally thousands of dollars later, stash is gone, oh btw, it has been 30 days and guess where we are? "Baby, please, I'm done...can you just give me 10 bucks. 20?" Lost job, stole $1000 out of my bank account in the last 5 days, and he keeps coming back.....tonight, beat up by a crack dealer he owes money to, cell phone lost (some person called my number and said "I found this cell phone I swear") and unless I have him arrested, I am lost. Happy Holidays, yeah right....why do I continue.....it's not just about me but about an elderly, not well, set of parents(his) and a loving family that just can't figure this stuff out
I chose to fell sad today
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My spouse of 18 years is in recovery now for 16 months. A long road to get here. We have lived apart and together off and on through the last few years as he finally settled into recovery. We have moved slowly back into our life together and let me preface this to say, he is my soul mate, my best friend and awesome lover.
A couple of months ago, he started obsessively texting other people mostly women (most of whom are in AA) and started exhibiting the same sneaky behavior and manipulating he did when he was using. One in particular, and I, in a lapse of sanity, started treating him as I did when he was using....trying to catch him, stop him.....
Then I did the worst, I confronted both of them. The result? Not so good....so I realize my poor judgement and have changed my behavior to give him space for his program and I am working mine (alanon). I slipped, I think we all do, but as a counselor once told me, its ok to slip, its what you do to pick yourself back up that matters.
Last week he tells me he is detached from life and wants to move away and live by himself at least for a while. I feel like he has traded one addiction for another. I think I know the answer, and that is I need to let him go to figure things out on his own. I am just so sad......I want everything to be right again and I miss my best friend.
Recovery is so hard. He holds alot of resentments and can't seem to get a handle on it. Sometimes it is really hard for me to understand, but I want to be understanding and I hope for our life to come back together.
Today I chose to feel sad......
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
I'm sad too
Sarita, today I am 70 days crack free and it hasn't been easy. I'm sad to after reading your post. I wish the best for you and your family. I certianly hope you do have happy holidays.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 54
Sarita - so nothing has changed since the original post?? or at least not much?? Idk but i just wanted to say that there are definately people 'out here' and we each do have similar difficult issues to deal with where we can identify with you, at least i can relate to you as far as family difficulties but i think most of the people here on the Substance Abuse forum are the users themselves, so maybe as suggested try the friends and family forum? Good luck with your situation but i couldn't begin to give advice, though i do sympathize with your plight. Good luck.
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