Ashlynn29

I am 29 year old struggling with a Meth addiction and a Bipolar and Severe Anxiety disorder. I am living in California, all alone here with noone to turn to. I am severely depressed and my world is crumbling. I have tried to get help but every place says there is no funding. I have no job, no insurance, no money anything. I have never felt so lost and helpless. I would give anything to get better again and feel happy again. I am getting nowhere on my own and its becoming an even more hopeless situation. I have never felt with addiction before and neither has my family. I am the first to get addicted in my family. They have about given up also and I feel the same. Is this really how it is. No help and live this way till the drugs kill you if the mental disease doesn't first? Please help.

Spica

Hey Ashlynn, welcome to SR. My drug was oxy and I am very happy to have made it through detox and am now getting my life together. I do not have experience with meth but there are several people here who will hop on to help out as the day progresses - I just wanted to welcome you and let you know you are in the right place.

Have you called a local Salvation Army chapter - they often can find assistance for you that is affordable or carries minimal cost (if at all...)

Hang in there and keep posting here to let us know how you are doing.

neferkamichael

Ashlynn29, I've no job, depressed, don't see a bright future ATM, but I would be worse of if I was still using. 50 days crack free. Hang in there.
neferkamichael

Impurrfect

(((Ashlynn))) - welcome to SR!! I agree with ((Spica)) about checking out the Salvation Army. I do understand about your state's funding issues. I was just out there, not too long ago, for my cousin's funeral.

I'm a recovering crack addict, way older than you, and when I hit bottom, I too had no job, no money, no insurance. I was, however, allowed to live at home as long as I stayed clean. After a few years on the street, spending time being locked up, I was ready to quit. I relied, a LOT on SR, still do with over 4-1/2 years clean.

We also have a mental health forum, you may also want to check it out. People here are from all over the country and the world and I've learned of things I never even knew about.

I do know of the catch-22 of bipolar and addiction. Most doctor's won't diagnose you with bipolar until you have a year clean (addiction behaviors mimic bipolar) yet many untreated for bipolar self-medicate with drugs to "deal with it".

Regardless, quitting the meth is the best place to start. When I quit the crack, I wasn't totally ready, didn't want to, but was sick and tired of living the life I was. It wasn't easy but it's the best thing I ever did. Joining SR was the second best

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Ashlynn29

I was diagnosed with Bipolar in my teens. I lived in Texas with my family then. I was diagnosed as Post Partum Psychosis at age 19 when I had my son. Was on meds and doing OK but the meds were a low dose and I wanted something else because I still didn't feel right. I stopped taking the meds and just smoked Marajuana to help with the depression and anxiety. And in California, they do use Marajuana as a form of therapy. Then at 25, I found the Meth. The Meth was making me feel better because its an upper. So my doctor said I'm self medicating. And at night would smoke Marajuana to come off the Meth high and help with the anxiety. Every day, Meth to treat depression for the day and Marajuana to help come down from the high and deal with the paranoia and depression. I understand about the treating addiction then the mental part. But for me, my mental health helped lead me to a full blown Psycitic Addiction!! And its EXTREMELY SCARY!!

1983ritag

Welcome to SR! I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Meth was never too much of a problem for me(I got into coke instead), but I've seen it destroy so many lives around me. I really hope you find the help you need soon. A lot of us definitely know what you are going through. Prayers sent your way.