neferkamichael

I really dont feel like using but I cant explain the angst, or the depression, or whatever it is. But, I'm not gonna quite, and I'm staying busy. I dont understand why I cant be grateful for where I am right now
have a good day
neferkamichael

sissy07

Hi neferamichael,

Not meaning to minimalize, but I think you are just going through a tough time. Things will get better if you don't use. Many of us have those same thoughts....the ups and downs drive me crazy.

Congratulations on the 41 days - that's great!!!

dizzydolphin

Hey Michael, yes congrats on 41 days! Remember everyone has bad days. So i'm told lol Tomorrow will be better if you stay focused and sober! Hang in there buddy. I'm rooting for ya.

pooky

Keep up the good work Nef!

dizzydolphin

And thanks for my beautiful dizzy dolphin. I love her!

Spica

Don't beat yourself up NM, you are still going through the grieving process and it takes time!

You are doing great and are a inspiration to the rest of us!!!

Impurrfect

(((Michael))) - sweetie, I STILL have days like that. Good thing is, they pass, I promise. It was hard for me to GET that I'm going to have bad days and it's no reflection on my recovery. In fact, when we don't use, it strengthens our recovery, it just doesn't feel like it at the time.

You're doing everything right..posting here, keeping busy and NOT using! I always like what ((Ann)) says about a bad day - something to the effect of "the difference between a bad day and a good day is...about 2 days"

Congrats on 41 days!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

IvanKatz

It takes time... You're experiencing the voice of the Demons that makes you want to do things you know you shouldn't. Trust me when I say that I and everyone else has been through this buddy. It gets better - seriously! It does get better.
This morning when I returned home from church, I went to my bathroom cabinet to get some OTC pain meds for my back. For some reason my brain told me, " Hey, you used to have a stash in here somewhere - you might find an old pill". Of course, I knew better because I got rid of all my old stuff LONG ago. Despite that, those voices screwed with my head for an hour. I got rid of the voice by getting my dogs and going for a 20 minute walk. It was a beautiful day!

When you hear the voices and get the itch - GO DO SOMETHING to get your mind off of it. It WILL pass!

BTW, Congrads on 41 days!

chicory

neferkamichael,

hey, that is awesome! 41 days, that is just great.
When things seem not so good, have you tried the serenity prayer? it seems to be an all purpose prayer, and maybe it will help. when i do that, i just let my worries and sadness go to my HP, and then say, ok, i am gonna do my best today.
it will get better. it seems like many,many recovering folks have these very same feelings. i have been around here for a little while, and have read many posts like this. so, it might just be part and parcel of recovery.

hang in there, and maybe try to find a way to laugh . it is very healing.

hugs,
chicory

IvanKatz

neferkamichael,

I forgot to ad something to my post. One thing that ALWAYS works to get me out of my funk... LAUGH! Watch a funny movie, funny clip, whatever makes you laugh )
My cats make me laugh constantly when they start scrapping.

Laughing gets your endorphins going. Works every time!

Last week I watched my favorite comedian and laughed so hard, my wife made me watch it in the other room. I laughed and snorted, and cried!!!! I also slept like a rock a few hours later.