metajolost

Ok today is the day I tell my family about everything that I have done and about my addiction. I am sooo scared. I asked my ex-BF to join me today and he turned me down (which I don't blame him because of what I did to him). When I get nervous, anxious, scared I would take a pill, which I have not done today.
I am freaking about and worried about telling them that I lied and stole to support this habit, that I let them down. That I hurt the people that I love and care about so much...sigh. I know I need to do this, that I need to take responsibility for my actions. Thanks for listening. I will post how it goes tonight. For now I need to clean my house and try to keep my mind occupied.

BullDog777

however upset they may be in the beginning, trust me...they will be grateful that in the end, you shared this instead of continuing to self destruct.

fences can be mended...lives lost from the desructive nature of this sickness cannot.

good luck

metajolost

My ex-bf just told me he will be here when I tell my family. In a way I feel a little more comfrotable about this now but on the other had I am more afraid.

FT

Good going, metajolost,

One thing addiction doesn't thrive well in is the light of day. The best thing you can do to garner support for getting and staying clean is to tell all the people in your life who care about you and your recovery about what you have been doing. Recovery becomes so much easier when you no longer only have yourself to be held accountable to.

Good luck to you. You will get a lot of support here, so please keep coming back to talk about your issues.

FT

Spica

I second everything that FT said - my kids watched me struggle for years - they have been with me as I struggled through detox and we are all sharing hope now that I am commited to living without drugs.

Hang in there - I hope you have a good talk and all the best to you as you work through this.

Let us know how it goes!!!

metajolost

Last night showed me what an incredible family I have. They said they will be there to support me even after I told them what I did to keep up my additction. My dad is 2 years sober from alcohol so he knows what I am and will be going through. My ex-bf showed brought me flowers and gave me a huge hug. After I apologized and took responsibility for my actions he did tell me I broke his heart and he is unsure if he could ever trust me again. he did text me a little last night asking questions about what I have been taking, how much and I going through WD and how bad it is. So on the brite side he is at least talking to me a little. Today I need to go to my ex-job and turn in keys and explain why I am leaving. Very nervous and scared about that. But today at 3pm I will be 2 days sober. My dad said for him it wasnt day by day it was hour by hour. If you can make it an hour, than you can make it another hour, then another hour soon it will be a day then another day. So I guess for me I will have to make it hour by hour. I just hope I don't relapse because of the stress of going to my ex employer today.

sissy07

You made a huge step yesterday. I am so proud of you...

LostinLaLaland

Hey there,

I am trying to work up the courage to do the very thing you did yesterday later today. We are literally at the same point as far as quitting, took last handful of pills about 9am Friday. Im glad everyone is being so supportive for you! Can I ask you how you approached it with your family so that it may help me breach the subject with mine??? Also just curious where your at in withdrawls to see if I am similar.


Also good luck on quitting your job, I managed to get myself fired last Monday so im all set on that part, LOL, god how did we get here

metajolost

I didn't quit my job I actually got fired (now that is a looong story). As far as telling my family I just called and asked everyone to meet at my house. I told them that I needed to discuss something. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do was tell them that I had a problem. Once everyone was here I just broke down and spilled everything, I didn't hold back. I apologized over and over which I am still doing today. I feel as if I have diappointed, hurt everyone I love and care for. As far as the WD, I am having the hot/cold flashes, i feel sick to my stomach, last night I felt like I was, anxious, nervous almost jumping out of my skin and I keep moving some part of my body. Oh and I woke up with the worst headache,, but that might be from all the crying and thinking I have been doing. How are you doing with your WD.

LostinLaLaland

It's so nice to hear that your family is goint to be so supportive, they are right? How did they reacat as you told them? For me it will be just my parents and I know they will be so dissapointed. They should have some idea that something is wrong because I've borrowed money from them over the past year and I really shouldn't need to as I was working as a restaurant manager making good money. (Everyone keep your kids out of the restaurant industry, over the past 13 years I've worked in a variety of restaurants and doubt I'd ever be in this bad a situation had I went a different route, however, who know's but most resaurants I've worked at are breeding grounds for us druggies). As far as withdrawls I do not feel to horrible, obviously restless as I slept off and on once the sun rose for about 2 hours. Lot's of bathroom stuff minus the puking, I was getting the hot/cold thing a bit last night, at one point all the hair on my arm just stood up it was kinda eerie, I was waiting for someone to break down my door or, I thought it was my cat sense kicking in or something. Other than that just pretty depressed which is more on the mental side, which I think will be much harder for me. I've always been pretty headstrong and have been able to funtion in life pretty well throughout it all, except this last year which has me by the neck. I'm starting to see this just as a huge task to tackle and feel good about working towards this goal, it's just not the goal I thought I'd be working towards at 32, but i'm sure nobody on here planned it this way, and boy if they did that would be something. Anyways thanks for sharing and please write more, just found this site last night and it seems to be helping ALOT.

Thanks Again!!!!

Spica

Hey Lost, don't look at this as a huge task to tackle - just take it a day at a time. Everytime I look too far ahead I start to psyche myself out so I try to keep my head in today...by the way, you should start to feel much better in a few days.

And at your age you can rebuild an awesome life - 32 years young - you have plenty of time (if you stay clean...)

LostinLaLaland

I do need to start thinking of this as day to day, that will make it seem much more attainable I believe. As far as age I know I can rebuild a great life if I start the sobriety now. Im not planning on taking any new girlfriends on in the near future and just working this HARD. I really have no problem with self-esteem or anything and when im not using am quite productive. All these replies have been so helpful, thank you all!!1