worried about ex and drugs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2
worried about ex and drugs
I recently split with a long term partner. She was always one with very high morals and values and has never touched cigarettes or drugs. She doesn't drink as her dad is an alcoholic and she rarely sees him. Since splitting, she has got a new boyfriend who is 7/8 years older than her and he has always smoked cannabis. She has now started to smoke the cannabis with him which is a massive massive shock to me, and her family considering she has such a massive problem with people who drink alcohol. It seems that she likes how the cannabis makes her feel and we are all concerned she is going to slip downhill big time in the next 12 months. It is so unlike her. She is classed as having depression and currently takes anti depressants (fluoexetine). I was wondering if anyone here has any stories on how they may have slipped into drugs like this, and also any info on how mixing cannabis and the anti-depressants could be dangerous? Thanks
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
Addiction and drug use is not restricted to the poor or "under classed". It hits every tier of society. Wealthy people tend to use less than the poor and downtrodden simply because they have more life options. However, those with plenty of money can more easily affortd their DOC.
Everyone is free to make choices, even if it is bad ones!
Perhaps you should look at it this way... Have you ever done something a little crazy because you were beyond smitten with a girl? Love, lust, attraction will cause us to make illogical and even dangerous decisions.
many years ago when i was single, I dated a SERIOUSLY good looking girl. She looked like a 22 year old Brigitte Nelson. 6'2" blond, stacked, the centerfold type!
She liked dangerous activities. At the time I had a Ninja 1100 motorcycle and she loved to ride with me. One day, while riding through the Redwood forest in N California she was screaming to me to go faster and faster. I was winding through the roads at breakneck speed. THis was VERY out of character with me because I always rode responsibly. But, because my hormones were RAGING, I obliged! She was turned on and I was out of my mind.
We hit a tight corner going about 75 mph and I came within inches of rolling off a cliff!
The point is, we are always tempted to do something out of character when we are smitten with another.
If you get the opportunity, please talk to her AS A FREIND and let her know your concerns for her well being.
She may not listen, but then again she may.
Everyone is free to make choices, even if it is bad ones!
Perhaps you should look at it this way... Have you ever done something a little crazy because you were beyond smitten with a girl? Love, lust, attraction will cause us to make illogical and even dangerous decisions.
many years ago when i was single, I dated a SERIOUSLY good looking girl. She looked like a 22 year old Brigitte Nelson. 6'2" blond, stacked, the centerfold type!
She liked dangerous activities. At the time I had a Ninja 1100 motorcycle and she loved to ride with me. One day, while riding through the Redwood forest in N California she was screaming to me to go faster and faster. I was winding through the roads at breakneck speed. THis was VERY out of character with me because I always rode responsibly. But, because my hormones were RAGING, I obliged! She was turned on and I was out of my mind.
We hit a tight corner going about 75 mph and I came within inches of rolling off a cliff!
The point is, we are always tempted to do something out of character when we are smitten with another.
If you get the opportunity, please talk to her AS A FREIND and let her know your concerns for her well being.
She may not listen, but then again she may.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2
thanks for your help. it is very much a case of her being besotted with this guy and she seems to be doing anything to make him happy, or keep him interested. I get on ok with her still and very well with her family. I really wish I could talk some sense BACK into her but it seems impossible. Her mum has spoke to her and she ends just saying her boyfriend acts no different when hes smoked cannabis and she just says its the same as drinking. I cant accept that because for a start it is illegal! I know that if I try talking to her she will get defensive of her boyfriend and not listen to me. I do care about her still and I have this image in my head of the path she is going down in life. Shes always wanted to become a counsellor and been ambitious, but that looks a million miles away at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
Notgood,
The old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink".
Well, as bad a cliche as it is, that's exactly what you're facing here.
Perhaps I can offer a word of advice here. If she get's defensive about her new guy, the maybe you should approach this in a different way. If her family is seriously concerned, then perhaps they are the route that is best suited to get through to her.
A family intervention (without you present) may be a good way to deal with this. Naturally, she isn't going to listen to you because... Well, you're old news to her and she potentially sees you as attempting to break up her new fun.
Her family can sit her down and provide the intervention she needs to reconsider her behavior.
This is way more difficult than it sounds because we all know that "Love is blind". Not only is it blind, but it's deaf too!
She needs to understand that what she is doing has the potential to ruin not only her life, but ruin any chance she has to become the person she wants to be. Pot destroys a persons ambitions! Like so many other drugs, when a person is high on pot, their brain thinks up all the cool stuff they want to do, can do, and aspire to do. They think can can achieve this and that. When in reality, all the pot does is make them "Think" and not "Do".
Let's say hypothetically she get's in a traffic accident. When she goes to the hospital, they are going to test her blood. When they find the dope in her system she is going to have some serious trouble with the law even if she was not at fault. If it was her fault, she will be charged with DUI. If she is caught with the pot, then she will have a possession charge that will stick with her for the rest of her life.
Who, in their right mind, is going to hire her if she has a conviction for possession of narcotics? Today's job market is bad enough as it is for goodness sake.
If she has to take any type of urine test, she will need to be clean for up to 4-8 weeks!!!!!
She needs to get it through her "in love" skull that the fun she's having now has the tremendous potential to affect her for the rest of her life. Heck, all she needs is a roach in the car and be pulled over for failure to signal.
I'll give you an example... Last month, my 17 year old nephew (in another state) was busted with 17 oz of marijuana.
He was trying to buy his first car and saved up about 1 thousand dollars. He thought he could hurry up the process by buying some pot and doubling his money by selling. From what I understand, he turned $1,000.00 into $6,000.00 in a couple of weeks.
One night he packed a little over a pound into his backpack and walked out of the house. At about this time, someone in the neighborhood called the police because they thought they heard gunshots. So, the cops were patrolling the neighborhood and stopped him (he was walking down the street with a backpack). The cops went through it and found the pot and arrested him.
In Tx, if you are caught with > 1 lb of pot, it's an automatic felony possession! Not only does he have a felony conviction on his record,He is serving 6 months in county jail. THis was supposed to be his Sr year in High school. Instead of going to school and getting an education, he's washing dishes and clothes dishes in jail. What does he have to look forward to even if he completes school and gets a diploma? Who's going to hire a teenage felon?
While I know this isn't quite the same story as your former girlfriend, the point is that everyone doing illegal activities thinks it's no big deal. They all think they are being safe doing it. Problem is that no matter how cautious you are, somehow, some way something random happens to get you busted. Then, it's game over!
I wish you the very best at helping her. It shows that despite you not being together, you still care. Perhaps one day she will be able to appreciate what you are trying to do for her.
The old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink".
Well, as bad a cliche as it is, that's exactly what you're facing here.
Perhaps I can offer a word of advice here. If she get's defensive about her new guy, the maybe you should approach this in a different way. If her family is seriously concerned, then perhaps they are the route that is best suited to get through to her.
A family intervention (without you present) may be a good way to deal with this. Naturally, she isn't going to listen to you because... Well, you're old news to her and she potentially sees you as attempting to break up her new fun.
Her family can sit her down and provide the intervention she needs to reconsider her behavior.
This is way more difficult than it sounds because we all know that "Love is blind". Not only is it blind, but it's deaf too!
She needs to understand that what she is doing has the potential to ruin not only her life, but ruin any chance she has to become the person she wants to be. Pot destroys a persons ambitions! Like so many other drugs, when a person is high on pot, their brain thinks up all the cool stuff they want to do, can do, and aspire to do. They think can can achieve this and that. When in reality, all the pot does is make them "Think" and not "Do".
Let's say hypothetically she get's in a traffic accident. When she goes to the hospital, they are going to test her blood. When they find the dope in her system she is going to have some serious trouble with the law even if she was not at fault. If it was her fault, she will be charged with DUI. If she is caught with the pot, then she will have a possession charge that will stick with her for the rest of her life.
Who, in their right mind, is going to hire her if she has a conviction for possession of narcotics? Today's job market is bad enough as it is for goodness sake.
If she has to take any type of urine test, she will need to be clean for up to 4-8 weeks!!!!!
She needs to get it through her "in love" skull that the fun she's having now has the tremendous potential to affect her for the rest of her life. Heck, all she needs is a roach in the car and be pulled over for failure to signal.
I'll give you an example... Last month, my 17 year old nephew (in another state) was busted with 17 oz of marijuana.
He was trying to buy his first car and saved up about 1 thousand dollars. He thought he could hurry up the process by buying some pot and doubling his money by selling. From what I understand, he turned $1,000.00 into $6,000.00 in a couple of weeks.
One night he packed a little over a pound into his backpack and walked out of the house. At about this time, someone in the neighborhood called the police because they thought they heard gunshots. So, the cops were patrolling the neighborhood and stopped him (he was walking down the street with a backpack). The cops went through it and found the pot and arrested him.
In Tx, if you are caught with > 1 lb of pot, it's an automatic felony possession! Not only does he have a felony conviction on his record,He is serving 6 months in county jail. THis was supposed to be his Sr year in High school. Instead of going to school and getting an education, he's washing dishes and clothes dishes in jail. What does he have to look forward to even if he completes school and gets a diploma? Who's going to hire a teenage felon?
While I know this isn't quite the same story as your former girlfriend, the point is that everyone doing illegal activities thinks it's no big deal. They all think they are being safe doing it. Problem is that no matter how cautious you are, somehow, some way something random happens to get you busted. Then, it's game over!
I wish you the very best at helping her. It shows that despite you not being together, you still care. Perhaps one day she will be able to appreciate what you are trying to do for her.
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