Any advice would be great :)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Any advice would be great :)
Firstly I want to say that I admire and respect all of you who are in recovery, and I wish all the best for you in your lives. I think you are strong, caring, and good people.
I am here to ask advice from an addicts perspective, because I am a mother of a 24 YO son who has been addicted to Oxy for approximately the past 7 years. He is now at the point of shooting it for the past 6 months, and 3 of his close friends have MSRA. He talks about how this is killing him, but he won’t stop.
I know I am not supposed to be an enabler, and because I love him with all of my heart, I have enabled him often, which is changing- He is going to have to move out of my house in 30 days, for example.
Anyhow, I ask you, honestly, and from your experience- how can I help and support him? What is the best thing I can do for him? What should I do from your perspective?
Thank you so much- this means a lot to me
I am here to ask advice from an addicts perspective, because I am a mother of a 24 YO son who has been addicted to Oxy for approximately the past 7 years. He is now at the point of shooting it for the past 6 months, and 3 of his close friends have MSRA. He talks about how this is killing him, but he won’t stop.
I know I am not supposed to be an enabler, and because I love him with all of my heart, I have enabled him often, which is changing- He is going to have to move out of my house in 30 days, for example.
Anyhow, I ask you, honestly, and from your experience- how can I help and support him? What is the best thing I can do for him? What should I do from your perspective?
Thank you so much- this means a lot to me
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
My suggestions? Find Naranon or Alanon meetings in your area and start attending on a regular basis. My parents never sought any recovery for themselves despite all the damage I did and it's painful to this day. We have a good relationship, but it's limited just because of that.
Get the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie if you haven't read it yet.
Educate yourself on addiction as much as possible.
Not only am I a long-term recovering addict, I also have a 33-year-old daughter in active addiction.
I love her from a distance. I allow her the dignity to live her life as she sees fit, regardless of how dysfunctional that may be.
I had to go through every miserable experience I had in order to hit a bottom. I will not rob her of her right to hit a bottom.
I sleep well at night knowing I have placed her in God's loving hands.
Sending you hugs of support!
Get the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie if you haven't read it yet.
Educate yourself on addiction as much as possible.
Not only am I a long-term recovering addict, I also have a 33-year-old daughter in active addiction.
I love her from a distance. I allow her the dignity to live her life as she sees fit, regardless of how dysfunctional that may be.
I had to go through every miserable experience I had in order to hit a bottom. I will not rob her of her right to hit a bottom.
I sleep well at night knowing I have placed her in God's loving hands.
Sending you hugs of support!
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
When I was 15 my mom gave me the option move out or go back to rehab. I moved out. I still used for a while, but I hit my bottom a lot faster than if she would have let me live with her. I have since thanked her and she knows it was the greatest thing she has ever done for me. It is Tough Love.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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Thank you Freedom,
I think you have a lot of wisdom, because you know both sides of the problem.
I will get the book, and I went to my first Naranon meeting last week- I hate to admit I was nervouse as hell.
there is still so much of me that feels guilty if I let him go, like I am giving up.
He always tells me I do not understand, and I probably do not. All I ever quit doing was smoking cigs, and I know that is not the same.
TY for your wisdom, Freedom
I think you have a lot of wisdom, because you know both sides of the problem.
I will get the book, and I went to my first Naranon meeting last week- I hate to admit I was nervouse as hell.
there is still so much of me that feels guilty if I let him go, like I am giving up.
He always tells me I do not understand, and I probably do not. All I ever quit doing was smoking cigs, and I know that is not the same.
TY for your wisdom, Freedom
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by December2011 
there is still so much of me that feels guilty if I let him go, like I am giving up.
You are giving your son a gift, even if he does not realize it. You are seeking recovery for yourself.
My parents will go to their graves with no recovery and that makes me sad.
My father is the untreated adult of two alcoholic parents and my mother is severely codependent.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. It will get easier in letting your son go, I promise.
I don't know what God has in store for my AD, but I do know I will not stand in his way.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Wow04,
Thank you, I am having to make him move out, and I worry like crazy that he will be okay. Your words help a lot, but 15 seems so young to get the boot! My son will be 25 in Nov. and it is hard to make him move.
You must be a strong person indeed.
Hugs
Thank you, I am having to make him move out, and I worry like crazy that he will be okay. Your words help a lot, but 15 seems so young to get the boot! My son will be 25 in Nov. and it is hard to make him move.
You must be a strong person indeed.
Hugs
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