neferkamichael

Had serious computer malfunction day 11, but I made it through payday.
Didn't buy any crack, but was severely temped. Had I not been with the right people I might not have made it. The good thing is I did.
Sober recovery.com helps and thank you all.Life, Health, Prosperity
neferkamichael

Spica

Day 13 off of oxy's myself - received three phone calls from my old suppliers in the last two days - very kindly told them, Thanks, but I ma done and am going to be unavailable.

My biggest danger point seems to be when everything is going well then my very faulty memory seems to reset to "idiot" setting and I forget the misery and self recrimination.

Best of luck to you as you go on this new journey!!!

Impurrfect

Great for both of you!!! The thoughts of using will get further and further apart, but even when we do have them, they're just thoughts..we don't have to act on them.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

lilotto

Congratulations I know how tough it can be. I got caught up in the game of crack and meth for a few years and it was nothing but pure evil. What really helped me to kick it was that evil life style. There was no pleasure in getting high anymore. I would usually buy a T or B and if anyone was with me they turned into ravenous beasts clawing at me in wild rage. Fortunately I was lucky enough to step back and look at it for what it was and it wasn't pretty so I walked away. No it wasn't easy and after 8 yr I still have urges but they have no hold on me anymore thank God. When I reflect on the nightmare and the amends I wish I could make to those I harmed it becomes devastating. Over time I have learned how to deal with the pain especially knowing that at any time I am more than willing to make an amend to someone I may have caused harm if they pass my way.

I don't know if it helps but the cravings do begin to subside as time goes by and you will find that all those people that hung around when you were using seem to disappear unless you go looking for them. Good Luck

lilotto

spica; I can totally relate to that self-destruction syndrome I have been working on this issue for way to long but it seems that its like climbing a mountain and just as I reach the top I lose my footing and slide backwards. Sometime only part way and at others all the way back to the beginning. Both of my counselors have been an enormous in helping me to come to grips with childhood memories like I was not good enough or I couldn't be as good as my siblings, etc. Of course to deal with them I would use or drink to stuff the hurt and pain. I've had to work through this crap more times than I like to admit, partly because every time a relationship would break up or end those old feelings would surface and it was back to square one again. Anyway I wish you luck and hopefully you can find a professional to help you with this issue.