XxGoldenxX

a flash flood destroyed my home town and the ppl i love are forced to start over without even a job to help start the process. they have lost everything and i want it to bring me back....to appreciating life, to being thankful....to being just as strong as those people who now have nothing, who are just grateful everyone is safe.

But all i feel is weaker, all i do is cry harder and all i want is the pain i feel to stop.

while people are wishing for a place to live i sit here wishing i could get some heroin. and this isn't an eye opening, i see the light post...this is a straight up selfish id rather get high then care, i can't stand to be myself, just give one glimmer of hope i actually believe post.

jazz66

Im sure your a good person golden ......dont beet your self up...all use addicts
have felt this way at some point ....
but realising it as you have has got to be the first step ....

soberlicious

Yep...straight up selfish. We are all selfish in addiction. I did the same thing during one of the worst hurricanes in our area. I was a whining b*&^% because all I wanted to do was get drunk(er). When you stop wanting to get high, you will care.

Another member just posted these words in another forum:

It is quite up to you if you want to be a part of humanity. I think you do. I have complete faith that you can.

Nightsd

Addiction is selfish. You might not be selfish about the rest of your life but only when it comes to heroin. If people only knew me for the things I did when I was actively using I would have been torched at the stake.

XxGoldenxX

thanks for replies, i appreciate even though i don't have much of a positive attitude at the moment, it still helps

djensen

Hey Golden, you hanging in there????