jokerz4u

Hi. Dont know how to start, so im just going to jump right in. I have been taking 40-60 mg daily oxycodone. This has been going on for the last 5-6 yrs. I decided 2 days ago that i dont want to live this way any longer. Wow i had no idea it was going to be like this. I feel like i have been beat down. Never felt anything like this before. Hope to get feeling better in the next few days, i hope. It so happened that i decided to quit and work my 4 12hr shifts at work. Big mistake. All i am asking for is your prayers that i can stick with this. Wish me luck people.

Dee74

Welcome to SR jokerz4u.

I've never done oxys but I know getting off anything is hard - but you'll find a lot of support here

Do seek professional medical advice if you feel concerned.

D

FT

jokerz:

Hello and welcome.

If you can take at least a week off work, you would be doing yourself a HUGE favor. I could not work at ALL my first week off oxys. Week number two, I had to work, but I was SLOW.

Expect to feel sick and lethargic to the max for a few weeks. The first week is the worst. In a few weeks, though, this will all be behind you and you will be glad you made the effort.

I have almost 9 months now. I was exactly where you are last Christmas. This Christmas will be the first one I have enjoyed in years.

Good luck!

FT

jokerz4u

Thanks for the support. I wish i could take time off but cant afford too. I am behind on my bills becase of my addiction. I will just have to sweat this one out and hope all ends well. I looked up the withdrawl symptoms, and just my luck i am experiencing alot of them. I only have 2 more days to work, then im off 3. Figured i would attend some NA meetings. I looked up my city and there are several. Nobody knows i am an addict, so noone knows what im experiencing right now. Im a private person and dont really want to involve my family and friends into this. So i am taking this route, a internet forum and meetings with strangers that share my illness.

FT

Good idea to hit meetings. If you get to feeling too bad, maybe you can go home sick. Hell, if you had the flu, you would probably do that. Recovery is at least that important.

I was in oxy hell for 2 years before I broke free and escaped. It only gets worse, so getting through this is more important than you may realize.

Try to push fluids and rest. If you can't go home sick, tell everyone you are working with the flu, and maybe they'll cut you a break.

FT

RISINGSUNFALLIN

What dosage were you on?I have seen your quick taper multiple times throughout the threads but you only mention 24 pills to 12 pills.... what mgs was each pill?

jokerz4u

Oh i want to go home sooooo bad, but cant. Holiday wknd. Have to work day before and after to get the triple time pay, and i really need it. Only 1 more day to go lol. Yea i think the meetings will help. We will see. Thanks for your replies failedtaper i appreciate it.

jokerz4u

Me? I was taking 512's, 932's, 10/325, watever i could get my hands on. I am not on any scripts, bout off the street and street prices around here are getting higher all the time. Quite an expensive habit.

Nightsd

Jokerz, if you think THAT is bad, just see what would have happened if you kept on using. My habit started with what you were using, just lortabs and norcos. However like all addictions my tolerance grew so I had to do more. Eventually I was soon doing well over 300mg of oxy a day. At the LEAST. 300mg was a BAD day. I usually took fifteen roxicets a DAY cause I knew several cheap dealers.

Eventually the oxy I was taking also quit hitting me good. So I brilliantly decided I would inject it into my arms instead. What do you know, I quickly moved straight to heroin after that. I was like most people, I ALWAYS said I would NEVER inject anything. Like most people I'm afraid of needles. I never thought I would progress to shooting up heroin, but that's where my pill addiction led. And once you inkect, you NEVER go back. Ever. It just wasn't possible for me to smoke heroin after I shot up, because I realized how much I was wasting.

It does get worse. Much worse. It always does. And whether it would have taken you five years or less, almost all heroin users started out like you and I did, using lortab.

So it's awesome you've decided to quit! I'm so very happy for you. You've made the correct decision, and it's a hard decision to follow through with. Your dedication to do this is an inspiration to me too. Keep up the good work and stay clean, you are totally worth it man!

jokerz4u

Nightsd, i had already considered using heroin for the simple fact i could take 15-20mg and not really feel it anymore. Only thing that saved me was i dont really know where to get it. Plus i never really looked. But i can honestly say if i could have, i would have tried it. How are you doing now? Hoping you are free of this demon.

Nightsd

Sadly when I was doing heroin and roxies, 20mg wouldn't even help with withdrawals. I viewed lortab in the same way that I viewed Tylenol. I've literally thrown away fifteen or so lortab I found in my room cause it wouldn't have even given me a buzz. So yeah your habit easy could have gotten unmanageably expensive, real quick. It's great you decided to quit.

Remember this, no matter how bad you feel, it will never be as bad as the withdrawals you would eventually get if you kept using. You're already so close to being done! Just stick with the plan.

Tell us how it goes. And be honest, we can't help ya if you don't tell the truth. If you stumble let us know and I'd be glad to give ya support and advice if you need it. I know when I first tried to quit and eventually failed I lied to everyone who was simply trying to help me because of my pride.

But it will be so much easier for you if you can quit now. If you're thinking of going back to using...don't. Its not worth it. The highs are never as high as the lows are low. Sure being high feels great but then what? You always run out. You don't want to live your life always thinking about how you're gonna get that next fix. Drug addiction is stressful isn't it?!

Stay on course man. If you haven't used then you've done great, no matter what. May I suggest you go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in your area? It's not for everyone but it certainly has helped me a lot.

Remember though. For most people, physical dependence isn't the issue, it's a side effect. When I first tried to quit, I thought the problem was that I let myself get physically addicted. But the truth is the problem was why I felt I needed to get high.

Listen quitting opiates is hard, and it has a way of messing with your brain chemistry. So DO NOT focus on the long term right now. Do not focus about staying clean for the rest of your life. Just focus on getting through today without using, and everything else will fall into place!! Trust me, even if it doesn't seem like you will ever feel better sometimes, you will. No matter how bad you feel.

How are you feeling now? Any other questions? Always glad to help.

jokerz4u

Right now i still feel pretty bad, but not as bad as yesterday. Getting off in a few mins and hopefully can go home and sleep more than 4 hrs like i have the last 2 days. But as far as getting high, i dont want to. I want to stay off this crap before it gets any worse. Thank you for your help it means alot right now.

FT

Hi RSF,

I'm always a little hesitant to say what I was doing, out of some paranoid fear (is that an oxymoron?) that someone will figure out who I am on here and get me into trouble. I was doing things that were probably illegal, so I'm still scared since it has been less than a year.

Let's just say there were two doctors and two dentists involved, so all my prescriptions were legal. Just do the math. Twenty four times ten.

Before I got up that high, I had started with 6 "innocent" 5/325 Perocets a day in 2008, and over the course of multiple tests and injections for torn ligaments and then two orthopedic surgeries, I ran through multiple doctors, got "fired" by one, one was arrested, and the rest were probably well meaning but definitely unwilling and unknowing participants in "helping" me with my problem. My dosage looked like a stock market graph with rises and falls, except my economy looked to be growing better than BP Oil.

I was almost happy when I cracked a tooth so that I had a legitimate excuse to go to yet another doctor.

So, you get the picture. I commonly see people who were doing FAR higher than I was, but I also see people who struggle and suffer terrible withdrawal even from lower doses of drug.

After my experience, and despite my doses being higher than some and lower than others, I truly think it is not the physical withdrawal so much anyway, but the emotional anguish people go through trying to get their heads back on straight in order to STAY clean.

FT

jokerz4u

Well, feel not as weak today, but very emotional. Slept 6 hrs today, so maybe i will feel better tonite at work. I hope. Went by one of the churches that has NA meetings at night, to kinda scope out the area. Looks like it will be pretty safe to go to some 10pm meetings. Im really looking forward to this. I really want this to work. They also have an program where i work, that helps with family crisis and it will be confidential. I guess i can check into it if i dont think i can do this alone. I feel good about this today, but who knows what tomorro will bring. Nightsd and taperd have really opened my eyes as to how bad this could have become, even tho its not over and im just getting started. So i thank you both for sharing with me.

oxyious

Hi there! I've been through YOUR exact problem more than once. I've already posted the following in another thread, but I want to make sure you didn't miss it. IT'S THE BIGGEST/BEST CHUNK OF NON-MEDICAL ADVICE I CAN OFFER YOU.

Do yourself a huge favor. When I was Detoxing... It was far from pleasant, one day was especially bad for me... but write it ALL DOWN, keep a journal (if you vomit, talk about how much, how bad it made your throat feel, ...I don't care if you blew chunks all over your favorite blanket--- WRITE IT DOWN---how painful the tummy cramps were, etc).... GET DETAILED, GET SPECIFIC......journal every nasty aspect of it.... THIS IS WHY:
Whip that thing out and read it every time you think about using again. (That is why you need to be so grossly detailed in it, because you'll forget all too much and too easily exactly how uncomfortable it was--- unless you are looking at the experience through YOUR eyes, in YOUR handwriting, describing YOUR symptoms. (It's not the same reading somene elses experience, it just isn't.)
IT DOES GET BETTER!

jokerz4u

Thats a good idea Oxyous. Think i will do that.

djensen

Jokerz, how are you today?? Im in the same boat, Day 2 for me, `100mg/day Norco user. My WD are bad but I am sure not as bad as the Oxy WD's are. I am glad you took the step to quit, and I am proud of you and myself for both of us quitting at about the same time. Its a long road ahead, but one day at a time bro, thats all we can do.

jokerz4u

Well hello djensen! Glad to hear you are trying to clean up too. Day 5 for me, I feel a little better today, feel weaker today than yesterday and stomach still uneasy. Other than that the day has pretty much turned out as anticipated. My first day off work since i quit, and all i can think about is getting high. Pretty much to the point i want to cry. But, i KNOW i cant. My problem is i have way too much time on my hands when im off work, and constantly think about it. I live by myself, dont have alot of friends b/c that got in the way of getting high and doing nothing lol. Sad but true. So, im going to a meeting in a couple hours and see how that goes. Really im borderline excited and anxious at the same time, if that makes any sense. djensen hang in there and keep on with the fight and we will beat this together one day at a time.

Oxyous i picked up a book today to jot down whats happening. Todays entry,i wrote exactly how i was feeling, and of course that i wanna get high, BUT NOT GOING TO! maybe later tonight i will have more to add.

jokerz4u

Just wanted to say, I have been reading others posts, about coming clean and sharing your problem with others. Up until yesterday, nobody knew of my problem. I told my x wife. We are still pretty close, and she knows i have had problems in the past with other things, and seems to be very supportive, as i knew she would be. Dont know why, just wanted to share with someone. This morning before i left work i shared with one of my coworker friends. In my mind i think he was a little put off by it, and now i question myself why i did it. Im sure he will not tell anyone else, but feel like i have been labeled a drug addict. So much for sharing. BTW I see myself in sooo many other peoples post, it made me cry...I have a ****ed up life.

djensen

Well, Day 3 begins......

Up at 4 am, not usually up until 7, I guess its just par for the course of getting clean. I still have some major body aches, it took all of me just to get out of bed. My daughter slept next to me last night and for some strange reason that helped me sleep better. I woke up a few times during the night and just looked over at her and it was like reality slapping me in the face, "hey jerk off, you have a daughter to stick around for". Thats all I could think about, her and my wife as I looked over at them both during my raging insomnia. Emotionally I am a bit better today, still pretty low but a little better. I am having some coffee and checking in with my SR pals. I hope everyone is taking it one day at a time and hang in there. My daughter told me she was proud of me last night, she's 3 and has no idea whats going on but out of nowhere she hugged me and said "Im so proud of you daddy", I broke down again but it meant a lot. We are all here for a reason, stick with it my friends.