Father, drinker of 64 yrs.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Father, drinker of 64 yrs.
My father has been a heavy drinker for 64 yrs. His wife told him to go to AA or leave their home. Of course he waited until the last day of her threat to go to a meeting.
Now I dont want to sound negative- really I dont. Ive seen this before and I am uncertain that AA can give him what he needs with such a long, serious drinking problem without going into treatment first. AA is a wonderful program but doesnt someone like him need to go into a facility first and then go to AA?
Does anyone else know of great success in this sort of situation? Im very worried about him.
Now I dont want to sound negative- really I dont. Ive seen this before and I am uncertain that AA can give him what he needs with such a long, serious drinking problem without going into treatment first. AA is a wonderful program but doesnt someone like him need to go into a facility first and then go to AA?
Does anyone else know of great success in this sort of situation? Im very worried about him.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Darwin Northern Territory Australia
Posts: 15
I don't see any harm in him going to AA first to hear about it. I am not sure he would be allowed to go if he was drunk.
If he drinks excessively every day, and you think he may have a bad withdrawal experience, then he can go see a doctor and get some help to do a withdrawal (detox) first, but the counselling and AA would have to come along at the same time to help him live without the alcohol.
I am sure there are services out there that would help him to reduce his drinking to a safer level in order to give up.
Give one of the services a ring.
If he drinks excessively every day, and you think he may have a bad withdrawal experience, then he can go see a doctor and get some help to do a withdrawal (detox) first, but the counselling and AA would have to come along at the same time to help him live without the alcohol.
I am sure there are services out there that would help him to reduce his drinking to a safer level in order to give up.
Give one of the services a ring.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Hi Liebe. My Dad finally went to AA when he was incarcerated for the first time at age 80! He was put in a Vet's Hospital and told he had to either do a lock up AA treatment there or do time for trying to shoot my Mom. Crazy I know. Well he went to the Vet treatment for 90 days and he actually stopped drinking. We had a few years of sobriety with him using his big book and going to meetings. He was stricken with Alzheimer's at 84 and died at 87.
I guess it's never too late. He was a functioning total hard drinker that ruined our family. But he went through AA and learned a lot, kicking and screaming albeit all the way. The truth dawned on him slowly but it dawned. We all participated and learned things as well, some better than others.
Maybe you should look for a treatment center that uses the AA principles, I don't really know all about it.
I guess it's never too late. He was a functioning total hard drinker that ruined our family. But he went through AA and learned a lot, kicking and screaming albeit all the way. The truth dawned on him slowly but it dawned. We all participated and learned things as well, some better than others.
Maybe you should look for a treatment center that uses the AA principles, I don't really know all about it.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 318
One of the things I love about AA (or anytime the alcoholic learns more about his or her disease) is that it kind of ruins the fun of being a drunk. I think that's partly how the program works, sometimes.
The more he learns about the disease he has, the better off he will be. I don't know enough to have an opinion on inpatient versus outpatient treatment though, to be honest. I do know alcohol detox is even more dangerous than detoxing from heroin and I have read that it is best done under medical supervision in order to be safe.
The more he learns about the disease he has, the better off he will be. I don't know enough to have an opinion on inpatient versus outpatient treatment though, to be honest. I do know alcohol detox is even more dangerous than detoxing from heroin and I have read that it is best done under medical supervision in order to be safe.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,252
OLD habits die hard, OLD farts even harder
I sympathize having a life time drinker father. Around the same amount of years and vicious fights between my mom and dad then mom passed. I see many of the issues today mom complained about over 20 years ago before her passing and actually 30-40 years since I remember seeing or hearing things between them. My mom actually said on several occassions all your father wants to do when he comes home is have a drink and do nothing.
The biggest problem/battle I'm having is that many current issues are being rationalized or written off as old age by friends & family and yet he did many of the same things 3-4 DECADES ago. Since he drank so much he really has not evolved as a person much like a young drinker turns into an immature old drinker. He bases everything on 1930s thinking.
I know my dad wouldn't be susceptable to an AA meeting or any inference that he has a severe problem. But too me when you can smell him before you see him and see all the stupid things a drunk or fuzzy person would do it's pretty clear drinking is part of the cause. Myself and others talk about hard drinkers and people with drug & other problems in terms of enabling, dependcy, etc and he gets all upset. Ironically when he sees the same scnerios and behaviors play out again & again he finally admit maybe you were right.
He literally squeezed/eeked by life without catastrophic consequences yet I'm pretty sure his drinking cost him anything from a better marriage & jobs and to money problems.
I'd say if there's already somekind of spiritual belief or component to your dads life AA might work. Or try to get his doctor to get on him. That's seems to be the only people my dad will at least listen to.
Changing anything DECADES old is hard enough but OLD habits, phew, Good Luck
The biggest problem/battle I'm having is that many current issues are being rationalized or written off as old age by friends & family and yet he did many of the same things 3-4 DECADES ago. Since he drank so much he really has not evolved as a person much like a young drinker turns into an immature old drinker. He bases everything on 1930s thinking.
I know my dad wouldn't be susceptable to an AA meeting or any inference that he has a severe problem. But too me when you can smell him before you see him and see all the stupid things a drunk or fuzzy person would do it's pretty clear drinking is part of the cause. Myself and others talk about hard drinkers and people with drug & other problems in terms of enabling, dependcy, etc and he gets all upset. Ironically when he sees the same scnerios and behaviors play out again & again he finally admit maybe you were right.
He literally squeezed/eeked by life without catastrophic consequences yet I'm pretty sure his drinking cost him anything from a better marriage & jobs and to money problems.
I'd say if there's already somekind of spiritual belief or component to your dads life AA might work. Or try to get his doctor to get on him. That's seems to be the only people my dad will at least listen to.
Changing anything DECADES old is hard enough but OLD habits, phew, Good Luck
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