Today was very difficult..
Recovering Addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Southeast
Posts: 66
Today was very difficult..
I am starting my 18th day clean today, the 28th. The physical withdrawl symptoms have passed, little did I know that the mental part would be even worse. Every time I get in a mood I keep hearing this voice in my head saying how I could instantly be in a great mood if i'd just take an oxy. Just one time for one day. Everytime I start thinking like this, my mood gets even worse than it was.
I was offered roxi today
it was so tempting and so within reach. How was I able to say no?
I was offered roxi today
it was so tempting and so within reach. How was I able to say no?
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Hey Hopeful!
You've got it, it was the same for me. It would start out mental -- the mental obsession. And then, because I am an addict I also have an abnormal physical reaction to drugs. It means that when I put drugs into my body, I set off the the phenomenon of craving, meaning that I find I lose control over the amount I use.
It's obsession that turns into compulsion, ultimately resulting in an inability to stop and stay stopped based purely on my own will power -- and when the compulsion is triggered, I find I can't stop or moderate my using. My will power became absolutely futile there too.
There is no hope there, none.
A deadly combination, if I ever saw one.
It's even worse because for an addict like me, I don't just feel better if I stop using; in fact, with an untreated spiritual condition, I'm likely to start getting overwhelmed by the restlessness, irritability and discontentment at some point, perhaps to the level where I can't take it anymore -- which frequently results in joining the ranks of relapse, substitution or suicide.
Yet there are those of us who get well -- free from all mind-altering, mood-changing chemicals, free from the mental obsession, and free to live lives better than those we dreamed of.
Perhaps being able to turn down the Roxi came as grace today. A close call, whew!
Why not sink your teeth into something more reliable?
What are you doing for your recovery?
Are you willing to go to any lengths to get well?
I am proud of you for where you are today, and I wish you the very best on the rest of your journey.
With love,
SIU
You've got it, it was the same for me. It would start out mental -- the mental obsession. And then, because I am an addict I also have an abnormal physical reaction to drugs. It means that when I put drugs into my body, I set off the the phenomenon of craving, meaning that I find I lose control over the amount I use.
It's obsession that turns into compulsion, ultimately resulting in an inability to stop and stay stopped based purely on my own will power -- and when the compulsion is triggered, I find I can't stop or moderate my using. My will power became absolutely futile there too.
There is no hope there, none.
A deadly combination, if I ever saw one.
It's even worse because for an addict like me, I don't just feel better if I stop using; in fact, with an untreated spiritual condition, I'm likely to start getting overwhelmed by the restlessness, irritability and discontentment at some point, perhaps to the level where I can't take it anymore -- which frequently results in joining the ranks of relapse, substitution or suicide.
Yet there are those of us who get well -- free from all mind-altering, mood-changing chemicals, free from the mental obsession, and free to live lives better than those we dreamed of.
Perhaps being able to turn down the Roxi came as grace today. A close call, whew!
Why not sink your teeth into something more reliable?
What are you doing for your recovery?
Are you willing to go to any lengths to get well?
I am proud of you for where you are today, and I wish you the very best on the rest of your journey.
With love,
SIU
Recovering Addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Southeast
Posts: 66
I don't know what to do to help myself. I try to get out and do something every day because I think way too much when I'm alone. I get so antsy and Ive found that I have to be doing something constantly, whether it's snacking on something or smoking a cigarette. I am so fidgety and I feel like I'm losing my mind because I was never like this before. I have not been to a meeting because I am extremely reserved and get all nervous when I'm around or have to talk to a stranger.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hopeful....
Sorry you were tempted today good to know you did not use...
I'm an alcoholic but perhaps my expereince will be useful for you.
In early sobriety I timed my cravings....tho they felt like hours...they were not.
They were actually 5 to 7 minutes and so then I took actions
I prayed...walked or danced around the room...ate a snack...Showered...brushed my teeth...drank cold water....took a bubble bath with scented candles..sang aloud etc.
I thought of that as actions of disstractions....
..
Rather quickly they began to abate both in intensity andtime
By the end of 2 months they had vanished ..never have returned during the last 22 years.
Please try any of the above or make up your own distractions..
Sorry you were tempted today good to know you did not use...
I'm an alcoholic but perhaps my expereince will be useful for you.
In early sobriety I timed my cravings....tho they felt like hours...they were not.
They were actually 5 to 7 minutes and so then I took actions
I prayed...walked or danced around the room...ate a snack...Showered...brushed my teeth...drank cold water....took a bubble bath with scented candles..sang aloud etc.
I thought of that as actions of disstractions....
..Rather quickly they began to abate both in intensity andtime
By the end of 2 months they had vanished ..never have returned during the last 22 years.
Please try any of the above or make up your own distractions..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi Hopeful:
Back to the original purpose of this thread!
Good for you resisting temptation like you were able to do. You have 18 days behind you, and that is saying something.
Just remember the first few weeks are the hardest, and you've already done more than two of them.
Keep coming here, keep posting, keep reading. There are a lot of people here who care how you are doing.
FT
Back to the original purpose of this thread!
Good for you resisting temptation like you were able to do. You have 18 days behind you, and that is saying something.
Just remember the first few weeks are the hardest, and you've already done more than two of them.
Keep coming here, keep posting, keep reading. There are a lot of people here who care how you are doing.
FT
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