D28rdy4help

Well I am working on my sobriety...I am working on job applications and I know I could fly through them if I was using (or so my mind tells me, would probably take just as long I would just be entertained...but I have realized life takes work not just amusing myself, if I work hard there will be time for clean fun)

I could not sleep and I did use this week. I have since seen the doctor, he gave me meds to get me through about Monday...he said I need to set a timetable and stick to it and not keep thinking I can reset it.

I have used 50mg this week and I am horribly ashamed...but then I tell myself I used to use 60mg a day for the last few months. When I used this week I felt good and slept well and that was my crutch, but I want to be done not still making excuses as I feel that allows the chance for the loss of self control to reoccur. I am chosing to be grateful and work on having a good day rather than the fact that I f'ed up because dwelling on that is ultimately still dwelling on pills. I finally realized it is my job to feel good and wake up and try to have the best day I can everyday enduring obstacles, problems, and coping with them without the blue devils.

Lizrox

It sounds like you know what you have to do; now you have to just do it.

Good Luck

FT

why did you have opiates lying around?

johnrambo

For me it's all or none. I have to commit to staying completely sober off everything forever or I will get completely annihilated. Also, my brain doesn't get any better if I use once a week, it just keeps it sick. I still feel kinda crappy and I'm 3 months sober, but am showing some improvement. The point is not to discourage you but just so you know it may take some time, don't get discouraged just cause you don't feel like gold in a couple of months (or in your case days). Stay strong, it will be worth it.