luciddreamrgrl

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm the same person as I was before the drugs and that I should just look at my life before I took the vicodin. But for some reason that's proving really difficult. It's only been 2 years. Why don't I remember that I had energy then, or that I was happy then, or that I raised a beautiful well behaved child? Why can't I remember a time I didn't need this pill to feel normal?

This is so frustrating and scary.

plumcrazy3742

I am living my life again before drugs. Its all in your head. You got to be strong I understand I almost lost everything to the pills I hada 30 a day habit so u can imagine how much tht cost me. I have detoxed at least 20 times and I'm only 5 days clean now and this time was different. I didt even deal with the withdrawels. Just kept moving. Yesterday I went fishing for 5 hours and now I just got back from a 2 hour jog. And like I said I wet from 30 a day to 0 just this last Friday. You have to be in the right state of mind if u want ur life back. If you truelly want your life back then you need to take control and say f**k the pills. They don't run your life. You do be strong you got kids just do what I do look at them then tell yourself u can't get beat this

NVRAGAIN3PCT

Ahhh Lucid....we live in the same world....palm trees and pill mills....makes it hard.

I'm starting to remember life without drugs. In fact, while I remember my habits from using and how dark and depressing that merry go round was, I don't remember the high anymore. Thank you Carl!

I'm stressed (that's another story - ex bf stalking me), but I"m running again, functioning again ( as well as I can).

I DO remember life before oxy's and now that I've finally been compliant with my meds for bipolar 2 my life is now BETTER than it was even before drugs.

7 weeks and coming up on 2 months! I'm blessed and happy despite my situation.

Blessings to you my friend.

Sending you strength this day.

Thank the Universe.

7 WEEKS! WOOT!:day6

luciddreamrgrl

Congrats NVRAGAIN3PCT! and thanks for the words of encouragement.

larrylive

Nope, well considering I started smoking weed when I was 12 and now I am 47, whats to remember?

Now life before crack that's a whole different ball game. And I ain't going back there.
Ithink the process should be recover and then reinvent. It's all about change and I am getting plenty.

NVRAGAIN3PCT

Larry - I really love the 'reinvent' portion of your post.

I love getting back into all my old, healthy routines, but I also just realized that I need to reinvent myself in other ways because let's face it - as healthy as I thought I was....i wasn't because I ended up with an abusive boyfriend and an addiction to oxy's. Um. Yeah. Real healthy there.

So yea, I need to reinvent myself too. Take the good from the past, and put some new stuff into the here and now. Being compliant on my bipolar meds is a huge one.

Stay away from the abusive/explosive relationships is another.

Stop being so down and hard on myself is another. I'm so freakin' hard on myself. I mean I expect things from me that no one could deliver. That's gotta go.

Finding my independence. That's a new one too.

Actually, I'm going to start a list and put it up in my room. Thank you for this post. I need to start making these new things happen.

Blessings to you this day.

I thank you for this post today.

Thank the Universe!

Klynn33

I always wondered that, what it was like before. I knew I had gotten through life without pills and thought if I could just remember being able to get out of bed without them, and having energy without them, and people able to talk to people without them.......

but then I thought - if my life was so great pre-addiction, perhaps I wouldn't have had the addiction in the first place.

I honestly don't remember exactly how I functioned without them before. All I know and care about it how I function without them now. On them I felt for the first time I felt "normal" - but I think it's a trick of the mind. Off them I seems to be ok too. and much more unlikely to die from it

I like what NVRAGAIN posted from stugotz..........death is one of the promises of addiction - so true!

You can do this, try not to put too much thought into it - just do it. The benefits won't take long to start showing themselves.