At a dead end
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1
At a dead end
Long story short.
Mother has been drinking for 6-7 years. Vodka, straight. Been to 4 Rehabs and just this past Tuesday 8/2/11 came home from a sober living facility in Florida where she had been for 2 months.
She's been in ICU a handful of times because she stops eating and just drinks vodka for days on end. There's so much more i could tell you but we'd be here all day..
Anyway, she came home Tuesday and was only gonna be here in NJ for a month to tie up loose ends and then move back to Florida. We all had our doubts since she had a month to screw up but we never thought she'd fall off that wagon in less than 24 hours. Yesterday i called the police to check on her cause i hadn't spoken to her since she got off the plane. They found her unconscious in her apartment. She had spent the last few days downing vodka and sleeping pills. They took her to the hospital and last i heard from her was yesterday evening when she had the guts to call and ask me to pick her up. I hung up on her.
The family is done with her. Have been for a while. We've put so much effort into her, so much money, and not to mention the mountains of mental stress she causes us on a daily basis. She lives alone in an apartment, she's 52, and just got fired from her job of 20 years. I was wondering if there was any way i could have her put into an insane asylum or even a palliative care center where she couldn't leave on her own will. She's probably going to be dead in a couple of days and i really don't feel like planning a funeral. She has no assets only debt.
She has threatened/attempted to kill herself a couple times and has severe psychiatric problems (bipolar, chronic compulsive liar, etc..)
Please, i just want to get her out of my life. I'm 24 and have been living with MS for the last 4 years of my life. I have my own issues, everybody does, i need her to not be an issue any more.
How do i get rid of this woman for good?
Mother has been drinking for 6-7 years. Vodka, straight. Been to 4 Rehabs and just this past Tuesday 8/2/11 came home from a sober living facility in Florida where she had been for 2 months.
She's been in ICU a handful of times because she stops eating and just drinks vodka for days on end. There's so much more i could tell you but we'd be here all day..
Anyway, she came home Tuesday and was only gonna be here in NJ for a month to tie up loose ends and then move back to Florida. We all had our doubts since she had a month to screw up but we never thought she'd fall off that wagon in less than 24 hours. Yesterday i called the police to check on her cause i hadn't spoken to her since she got off the plane. They found her unconscious in her apartment. She had spent the last few days downing vodka and sleeping pills. They took her to the hospital and last i heard from her was yesterday evening when she had the guts to call and ask me to pick her up. I hung up on her.
The family is done with her. Have been for a while. We've put so much effort into her, so much money, and not to mention the mountains of mental stress she causes us on a daily basis. She lives alone in an apartment, she's 52, and just got fired from her job of 20 years. I was wondering if there was any way i could have her put into an insane asylum or even a palliative care center where she couldn't leave on her own will. She's probably going to be dead in a couple of days and i really don't feel like planning a funeral. She has no assets only debt.
She has threatened/attempted to kill herself a couple times and has severe psychiatric problems (bipolar, chronic compulsive liar, etc..)
Please, i just want to get her out of my life. I'm 24 and have been living with MS for the last 4 years of my life. I have my own issues, everybody does, i need her to not be an issue any more.
How do i get rid of this woman for good?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,865
I'm sorry you are dealing with that. She's an adult and has the right to live her life however she chooses. It's sad that this is the route she is taking, but, as you know, you cannot save her.
Going no contact is a way to keep her out of your life. Change your phone number, or block her if you can, but it sounds like she calls from many different numbers. Refuse to speak to her or see her. It's very sad to have to do this, but when it starts affecting your own health, it is time to do something to save yourself.
Good luck. My heart goes out to you.
Going no contact is a way to keep her out of your life. Change your phone number, or block her if you can, but it sounds like she calls from many different numbers. Refuse to speak to her or see her. It's very sad to have to do this, but when it starts affecting your own health, it is time to do something to save yourself.
Good luck. My heart goes out to you.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I too am sorry that you are having to deal with this issue, with MS you sure do not need this added stress.
My mother is the primary alcoholic in my life, she is going on 86 and still drinking...daily.
All I can recommend is to go no contact. I have gone no contact with my mother two times, the last time for ten years. Those years were the most peaceful of my adult life.
It was a choice, save myself or go down with the ship...I chose me.
Take care of you, there is nothing you can do for her, it is all up to her.
My mother is the primary alcoholic in my life, she is going on 86 and still drinking...daily.
All I can recommend is to go no contact. I have gone no contact with my mother two times, the last time for ten years. Those years were the most peaceful of my adult life.
It was a choice, save myself or go down with the ship...I chose me.
Take care of you, there is nothing you can do for her, it is all up to her.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 112
Are you sure you are not me?
To get her out of your life you can change your number, or just not answer when she calls. You can pick up the phone and tell her you no longer want anything to do with her. You can do those things. You are allowed. You do NOT have to deal with this.
If she does pass away because of this, it's going to happen whether you deal with her or not....so why bother? You don't have to plan her funeral. I have already told my Dad I am not assisting with that when the day comes for my mother. Not even sure I will show up for that matter.
My point is, when you have had enough -- that is okay. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone or anything. You walk away if you want and when you want. You are not responsible for her, you can't change her and you can't 'wish' her into recovery. Take care of yourself.
Now, excuse me while I go follow this advice myself!
To get her out of your life you can change your number, or just not answer when she calls. You can pick up the phone and tell her you no longer want anything to do with her. You can do those things. You are allowed. You do NOT have to deal with this.
If she does pass away because of this, it's going to happen whether you deal with her or not....so why bother? You don't have to plan her funeral. I have already told my Dad I am not assisting with that when the day comes for my mother. Not even sure I will show up for that matter.
My point is, when you have had enough -- that is okay. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone or anything. You walk away if you want and when you want. You are not responsible for her, you can't change her and you can't 'wish' her into recovery. Take care of yourself.
Now, excuse me while I go follow this advice myself!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 213
I can totally understand the feeling wanting a person with an addiciton out of ones life, when that person is harming your well being you have every right to not want anything to do with that situation and i say do everything you can to do just that...good luck
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