NYCDoglvr

I've read that 60% of recovering alcoholics also suffer from mental illness which makes sense: alcoholism itself is a mental illness. The first 15 years my recovery depression was manageable and I did very well. But then a devastating major depression hit and my life spiraled downward. Despite the hard work of a brilliant psycho-pharmacologist and very caring shrink, I lost so many wonderful friendships and professional success I had built up over those years of hard work.

Over the past five years I've felt like I'm hanging on by my thumbnails and if I didn't have a solid AA program, I wouldn't be alive. Here are a few coping tips I'll pass on.

Just hanging on: when the depression got so bad I couldn't get out of bed I said a mantra -- "while there is breath there is hope". When I feel suicidal I decide to just not kill myself today. Think Scarlett O'hara: "Oh fidledee, I'll just think about it tomorrow." Deep in "depression-think" I can't think rationally but I can wait until it passes. And it always passes, it invariably lifts. Frequently the simple act of going to sleep or sitting in a meeting restore me to some sort of sanity.

I can't think myself sane but diversions help. Watching a high-action movie helps; "Black Hawk Down" is my favorite. I go to a meeting and talk to a newcomer, that helps a lot. It at least makes me grateful I'm not counting days

After coming out of a bad patch it frightened me to see how crazy my thinking was so I wrote myself a "sane" letter to read when depression rears its ugly head.

As a means of survival I limit stress-inducing people, places and things, including negative people who take more energy than I can bear. Forget being "nice", this is life and death.

Relationships: I lost lifelong friends when depression hit because I talked about how awful I felt all the time. I learned to keep it to a minimum and pour out the wretchedness to my shrink. Depression is a very self-centered experience. People want positive experiences in their lives, not misery or problems they can't do anything about. Learned to "act as if" around others which more often than not, helps pull me out of my self-hating, self-defeating thinking.

Any tips you want to pass along? I've learned so much from others on this forum.

recoverywfaith

Thank you for your post. What helps me to try and have balance in recovery is Writing, Music, Reading, AA steps, AA, Sponsor, SR, friends, helping someone, gratitude and prayer.

NYCDoglvr

Yes, it's amazing how much better I feel when I help someone else. And when I feel I'm aboard the Titanic and it's listing 45 degrees prayer definitely helps.

1undone

I go float in my pool and look at the clouds and just chill. Been dealing with Depression since I was 13yr. It has to be somehow hormonal but of course no one can surely tell us what causes it for sure so we take all these meds hoping for a miracle. I also pet and chill with my Labradore - Lola. I keep a lot to myself because I know how off-putting it is to listen someone go on and on about how yucky they feel. It's just reality. Upbeat music can change my mood pretty quickly too for some reason. I won't question it. But yes, helping others really shakes it outta me.