Amy Winehouse inspired thread
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Amy Winehouse inspired thread
*WARNING--POSSIBLE TRIGGERS BELOW CONCERNING USING AND SUICIDE*
I never met Amy. Don't think I've ever listened to her music. I'm pretty out of touch with pop culture these days. I remember hearing about her a few years ago and the sentiment then was that she probably wouldn't live much longer.
It got me thinking about myself and wondering if perhaps this was suicide-by-fvck-its. Meaning, 'I don't care how much I use...if I happen to die, so what?'
I've felt this way before many times--interestingly enough, only while being sober for the past couple years. There's so much sh!t and garbage flinging around in my head I don't know how much longer I can put up with this...I'm not sure I can describe how I feel.
My therapist has been a douchebag for the last several sessions. Stop answering your phone! My session is for me, not you! And boy, was the last one a doozy. She broke down crying in front of me over a personal matter and said this: “Your problems aren’t so bad right now, right?” Word to the wise for any mental healthcare professional reading this: DO NOT EVER SAY THAT TO ANY OF YOUR CLIENTS. She wanted me to tell her jokes and stories to make her feel better on MY time and MY money. I cut the session short and asked that my next session be free. She told me to lie and then proceeded to tell the secretary that my session was cut short because I (Bam) was sick. She did this so she wouldn’t get in trouble (her words). That’s been…almost 2 months ago and I haven’t been back. I’ve been going there for two years--the first year was OK--and I’m not getting any better, especially now. I don’t want to start with a new therapist and have to deal with his/her bullsh!t, either. I don’t have the energy or the patience anymore.
My doctor seems to think that my new meds are working. I am toeing the edge of the abyss--that is not good enough. Feeling miserable, hopeless, trapped, pointless, etc. wears on the mind and is killing my will to live. I guess when I hit that point I'll win a three day trip to a place I don't want to go for the committed. Maybe that's what I need.
I understand why people don't make it. Society doesn't give a sh!t. And I'm tired of tip toeing around these important discussions because suicide is still considered taboo. Society needs to talk about it and give a sh!t. The medical science people need to get on the ball and figure out what's going on in the brains of the people who have some kind of mental illness/condition and HELP US!
I never met Amy. Don't think I've ever listened to her music. I'm pretty out of touch with pop culture these days. I remember hearing about her a few years ago and the sentiment then was that she probably wouldn't live much longer.
It got me thinking about myself and wondering if perhaps this was suicide-by-fvck-its. Meaning, 'I don't care how much I use...if I happen to die, so what?'
I've felt this way before many times--interestingly enough, only while being sober for the past couple years. There's so much sh!t and garbage flinging around in my head I don't know how much longer I can put up with this...I'm not sure I can describe how I feel.
My therapist has been a douchebag for the last several sessions. Stop answering your phone! My session is for me, not you! And boy, was the last one a doozy. She broke down crying in front of me over a personal matter and said this: “Your problems aren’t so bad right now, right?” Word to the wise for any mental healthcare professional reading this: DO NOT EVER SAY THAT TO ANY OF YOUR CLIENTS. She wanted me to tell her jokes and stories to make her feel better on MY time and MY money. I cut the session short and asked that my next session be free. She told me to lie and then proceeded to tell the secretary that my session was cut short because I (Bam) was sick. She did this so she wouldn’t get in trouble (her words). That’s been…almost 2 months ago and I haven’t been back. I’ve been going there for two years--the first year was OK--and I’m not getting any better, especially now. I don’t want to start with a new therapist and have to deal with his/her bullsh!t, either. I don’t have the energy or the patience anymore.
My doctor seems to think that my new meds are working. I am toeing the edge of the abyss--that is not good enough. Feeling miserable, hopeless, trapped, pointless, etc. wears on the mind and is killing my will to live. I guess when I hit that point I'll win a three day trip to a place I don't want to go for the committed. Maybe that's what I need.
I understand why people don't make it. Society doesn't give a sh!t. And I'm tired of tip toeing around these important discussions because suicide is still considered taboo. Society needs to talk about it and give a sh!t. The medical science people need to get on the ball and figure out what's going on in the brains of the people who have some kind of mental illness/condition and HELP US!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Damn that is too bad about the therapist. I had one like that many years ago and didn't get a thing out of my sessions. The one I have now is excellent.
You're right in that suicide is a taboo subject. I know that I have been close to that abyss more than once.
Sending you gentle hugs of support, dear!
You're right in that suicide is a taboo subject. I know that I have been close to that abyss more than once.
Sending you gentle hugs of support, dear!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I would not go back to a therapist like that either. answering phones calls on your dime is rude and unprofessional.
you might feel better if you put all this in writing and send it to your insurance carrier? local AMA? IDK, just a thought. if she flocked with you she might be flocking with others.
i'm sorry you feel so craptastic...I read a bit on Amy Winehouse yesterday and a quote she made about her addiction..."when my back is against a wall my response is to kick the sh!t out of it"...she always thought she could "beat" her addiction...sadly she did not get the chance....her heavy drugging won.
you might feel better if you put all this in writing and send it to your insurance carrier? local AMA? IDK, just a thought. if she flocked with you she might be flocking with others.
i'm sorry you feel so craptastic...I read a bit on Amy Winehouse yesterday and a quote she made about her addiction..."when my back is against a wall my response is to kick the sh!t out of it"...she always thought she could "beat" her addiction...sadly she did not get the chance....her heavy drugging won.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I am stunned to hear what your therapist did. It is extremely unethical and goes against everything a therapist should be. You really should turn her into the therapist board as she definitely should not be in a position that would do that to any one.
I have been to many different therapists along the way and have never had an experience like that or even a similar one. I have changed therapists for many different reasons such as insurance changes, feelings of getting no where, out growing my therapist, wanting to try different therapies, etc... Please do not give up on therapy as it truly can be beneficial.
I do hope you hang in there and give therapy another shot.
I have been to many different therapists along the way and have never had an experience like that or even a similar one. I have changed therapists for many different reasons such as insurance changes, feelings of getting no where, out growing my therapist, wanting to try different therapies, etc... Please do not give up on therapy as it truly can be beneficial.
I do hope you hang in there and give therapy another shot.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
What your therapist did/was doing is highly unethical and should be reported. Good grief, to let her still hold a position of responsibility for others' lives while asking for sympathy and jokes for her own problems??? wtf?? There are excellent counselors out there, mine is one of them, please look for another one, one that cares about you, not appearances.
As to your feelings of hopelessness and despair... Have you told your prescribing doctor that the meds are not doing what they should? There are so many meds that one of them is bound to help, just keep looking/trying until you find the right one.
I wish I could be of real help to you but all I can do is sincerely hope that you don't give up or give in. I was in a similar position six years ago. Thought my life was worthless and was ready to end it. I found a great forum that saved my life. Suicide Forum - A support forum for people in crisis - Powered by vBulletin and was buoyed up enough to imagine that life might get better. It was a slow process but it did get better, tho not all at once and not without setbacks, but I made it, I finally made it and finally believed there would be light at the end of the tunnel.
I can only hope you can find comfort somewhere. Please don't let things get to you too badly. There is always hope, even when it doesn't feel that way.
love and hugs xoxo
As to your feelings of hopelessness and despair... Have you told your prescribing doctor that the meds are not doing what they should? There are so many meds that one of them is bound to help, just keep looking/trying until you find the right one.
I wish I could be of real help to you but all I can do is sincerely hope that you don't give up or give in. I was in a similar position six years ago. Thought my life was worthless and was ready to end it. I found a great forum that saved my life. Suicide Forum - A support forum for people in crisis - Powered by vBulletin and was buoyed up enough to imagine that life might get better. It was a slow process but it did get better, tho not all at once and not without setbacks, but I made it, I finally made it and finally believed there would be light at the end of the tunnel.
I can only hope you can find comfort somewhere. Please don't let things get to you too badly. There is always hope, even when it doesn't feel that way.
love and hugs xoxo
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Thank you each and everyone for your responses....and thanks for listening.
She texts during sessions--a few times only--but it's every session (and she claims it's because she's talking to her ex about her son *edited to add--she has a ten minute break between each session...she could use that time to text*). Is that not as bad as talking on the phone, or is it the same? And the last session....dang, I understand when people have personal problems, but why couldn't she just cancel the session if she was doing so badly? I would have been able to handle that...
Should I give her another chance? Should I confront her and tell her what's been happening is wrong and specifically lay out boundaries (isn't she the one who's supposed to do that, anyway?)? I'm naturally a passive person. I have to really work at being assertive. I just don't know anymore. And if I did file a complaint, it would be my words against hers.
She texts during sessions--a few times only--but it's every session (and she claims it's because she's talking to her ex about her son *edited to add--she has a ten minute break between each session...she could use that time to text*). Is that not as bad as talking on the phone, or is it the same? And the last session....dang, I understand when people have personal problems, but why couldn't she just cancel the session if she was doing so badly? I would have been able to handle that...
Should I give her another chance? Should I confront her and tell her what's been happening is wrong and specifically lay out boundaries (isn't she the one who's supposed to do that, anyway?)? I'm naturally a passive person. I have to really work at being assertive. I just don't know anymore. And if I did file a complaint, it would be my words against hers.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 236
Firstly, that's really terrible about your therapist. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I join in with the others in saying that there are excellent therapists out there with whom things like that do NOT happen. Therapists are supposed to be people we can trust and count on to maintain their role in our lives - that's part of what boundaries are for, to protect that relationship. And texting is just as rude as taking calls - in both situations you are neglecting the person to whom you should be attending.
As for your question about giving her another chance...well, that's your decision, ultimately. If you'd like to know the truth about what I would do were it me in your situation - there's not much of a possibility I would give her another chance. Those are some serious boundary violations and there's no reason you should put up with that. Frankly, I'm a little outraged on your behalf. I might look into finding a different therapist. You deserve better treatment than that.
As for your question about giving her another chance...well, that's your decision, ultimately. If you'd like to know the truth about what I would do were it me in your situation - there's not much of a possibility I would give her another chance. Those are some serious boundary violations and there's no reason you should put up with that. Frankly, I'm a little outraged on your behalf. I might look into finding a different therapist. You deserve better treatment than that.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
I would not put my trust in a therapist who tells you yr problems aren't so bad, asks you to lie, breaks down, takes or makes calls or texts when you're in consultation, or wants to discuss her personal problems....
This is not good therapy Bam.
It's so unprofessional I can scarcely believe it.
Vote with your feet,
D
This is not good therapy Bam.
It's so unprofessional I can scarcely believe it.
Vote with your feet,
D
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I can relate to you being passive. I tend to be the same way. It is easier for me to voice on paper what I need to say than it is to say it to a person. If it were me though I don't know if I could confront her, I would probably take the easier, softer, not necessarily right, way by finding a new therapist and not seeing this one anymore. I hate confrontation.
I got nothin'
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by nandm 
I can relate to you being passive. I tend to be the same way. It is easier for me to voice on paper what I need to say than it is to say it to a person. If it were me though I don't know if I could confront her, I would probably take the easier, softer, not necessarily right, way by finding a new therapist and not seeing this one anymore. I hate confrontation.
This is exactly how I am. It's probably what I'll do. I don't owe her anything. And while I'd love to tell her what I think, trust has been broken. I have no idea how she'd handle criticism--would she be vengeful? I don't know how to word this, but if I would confront her, I really don't want her calling my doctor and saying some BS...I tend to think the worst case scenario. Maybe that's wrong, but I have to protect myself.Thank you, nandm. And thank you everyone. It really helps to get outside opinions on this one.
Anyone else with insight or experience, please post.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 236
You're right. You don't owe her anything. It is absolutely your right to terminate therapy at any time for any reason without explaining anything to her. Had she been a good therapist all this time - trustworthy, reliable, respecting professional and personal boundaries - I'd say talk to her before termination...but since she seems like a real disgrace to the profession (what she did was really, really not ok), I'd walk away without a second look. Chances are she'll know why, anyway. She no doubt knows how wrong that was.
If you know your doctor well enough, you may consider talking to him/her about what happened with the therapist (1. to quell any fears of vengeance from her if you DO decide to confront her and 2. to get an opinion about reporting her to the appropriate governing bodies - I had an issue with some staff at a local behavioral health center talking about patients, by name, openly in the lobby and told my therapist about it; she was outraged, rightfully so, and wanted to call the director of the facility - so maybe your doctor would be of some help should you choose that route)
If you know your doctor well enough, you may consider talking to him/her about what happened with the therapist (1. to quell any fears of vengeance from her if you DO decide to confront her and 2. to get an opinion about reporting her to the appropriate governing bodies - I had an issue with some staff at a local behavioral health center talking about patients, by name, openly in the lobby and told my therapist about it; she was outraged, rightfully so, and wanted to call the director of the facility - so maybe your doctor would be of some help should you choose that route)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,945
Well I think it time for a new therapist. Just tell her the Donald Trump YOUR FIRED but I would add a four letter word starting with a c at the end after you say your fired. Anyways I joined NAMI and come to find out the mental health system in the USA on a grade scale is a graded D. Anyways I went to a memorial july 9th for someone I loved for who was bipolar with substance abuse she killed herself RIP Angel. Then 2.5 years ago my bottem was having my friend Mike bipolar alcholic just like me killed himself RIP Mike. If you have a mental illness the stakes our high if you have it with alcholism our addiction the stakes our so high your nose might bleed. My uncle Fred a parnoid schizophenic killed himself RIP. I just came out of the worse depression I ever had and my thinking wasnt healthy, I made it threw a storm the stakes are high for me I have no choice but to play my best game. Which means the best recovery has to offer no weak link in it. Dont call your therapist the c word just do what you think is right, but me I'd cut her loose. Amy Winehouse quote - if your back against a wall kick the s--- out of it-Jimmy Hendrix, Jim morrison, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin and Amy I think I'm not sure all died at age 27 its sad to me suicde is all to real the devastation it does to family and friends.Death by f--- its like you said Bamboozle, is that any better then blowin your head off. Having lost three loved ones to suicide it hurts I miss them I love them I balled my eyes out. Thanks for the thread Bamboozle.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Put your money to better use. Can you imagine if you went to your regular doctor and he/she was texting during your visit? Can you imagine if your doctor started crying and talking about person problems while looking in your ears? LOL I'm sorry but it's basically the same. Chances are you are not the first person to experience her behavior. I'll bet people have already complained. Take your money and get someone who will actually help you. She sounds like she wants a pal and has really blurred the boundaries there. Wish I could slap her for ya! LOL
Hang in there my dear!
Hang in there my dear!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
Should I give her another chance? Should I confront her and tell her what's been happening is wrong and specifically lay out boundaries
I'm with Dee: vote with your feet as you run far away from her. If it were me I'd read her the riot act and then tell her superiors about her behavior and attitude. She's a disgrace and should not be practicing if she's so awful. I'd also call your doctor and tell him/her about this therapist.
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