idun

Hi, I have been 6 days clean and have got through the worst of the physical withdrawal and very, very stupidly (spare me the lectures) used again today.

If I stay clean from this point on, will I have to go through the grueling 6 days again or will there be hardly any withdrawals?

oxyious

Everyone experiences things differently, but in the past when I relapsed after 3 to 5 days (did that several times)---- it (thank God, Carl and Grandpa) did not make me any sicker... Possibly it prolonged my origial w/d a few days (the milder symptoms). Just my opinion, but I think you'll be okay if you stay sober. And don't be ashamed. Relapse is a part of recovery for some people hen they finally get serious about it... but you can't excuse yourself either. Try to learn from it, find something you learned about yourself. (i.e. that you can't keep the DOC at home, that you aren't strong enough to avoid it --- and there is NOTHING shameful about that. I have been clean since 3/4 days before Memorial day (the 3/4 because it was around midnight, it's a judgement call)... BUT ANYHOW.... I was looking for the keys to my storage closet, found one of my evil RX buddies, popped it in my mouth, had an arguement with myself, spit it out and then later felt like I was back at square one, but it will pass.

I'm now noticing (even though I'm either an insomniac or over-sleeper when my body has had enough)... When I am well rested, I cope much better. I've read and I believe strongly in this: Even if you are unable to sleep, your body still needs rest, so even if you are just laying still, it's good for your body. Staying up all night is not and that is just common sense.

ONE thing that REALLY has helped me is finding my "happy place". Mine is the cottage that me, my Grandpa (RIP) and Grandma used to go as a child. This was a decade before drugs were even a forethought... I remember dipping my toes in the water when Grandpa took me out on the boat, I remember fishing for minnows, I remember my Grandmas cooking, how much I loved playing and jumping off the dock and HOW RELAXING IT WAS TO JUMP IN TO THE BUNK BED AT THE END OF THE NIGHT..

I was so exhausted from running around carefree, I would fall right asleep. I literally close my eyes and pretend I'm back in that cottage, back in that bed and it will bring an overwhelming feeling of peace and put me to sleep. (Staying asleep... I'm still working on).. but seriousy TO ANYONE READING... IF YOU HAVEN'T ... FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE AND GO THERE.

idun

Thanks for the reply .

I was just about to ask what does DOC mean and about to mention that my "drug of choice" was codeine; i am assuming that what is stands for? lol

I have been an an addict for about 3 years, and have had several abstinent patches but always relapsed usually well within 2 weeks. But this year, something happened to me, on the 14/03/2011 i stopped using and about 2 weeks later starting reading the bible and got into it and believed I was cured by God;

I had no inclination to touch the stuff ever again. i felt like i didnt need any relapse prevention i was that certain I was ever going to use again. Ive never had any friends and find social situations hard to comprehend and follow, with going to this new place (church) i fitted in quite nicely and first time since junior school (in the UK thats about from 6-11 years of age) made a few friends.

But things started to go downhill after about 2 months, I stopped getting invited out places etc and was questioning my faith. I then started using again about 7-8 weeks ago.

My dosage was usually about 800mg+ of codeine from Nurfofen Plus (ibupofen and codeine in a single tablet) which is about equivalent to 60-70mg Oxy per day). I only took 450mg today though.

I think I will need to do some relapse prevention now though, impossible to do on my own. I live in the UK and the NA over here is not as big as an organisation as over in the US and my closest meeting is like 35miles away (and I dont drive). However there is a local charity that does a similiar thing (not sure if its a 12 step but its relapse prevention whatever it is), so I think I will need to give that a go this time.

FT

Idun:

Check out posts by "The Reader" -- she is active here and has some codeine experience. She also appears to be a kindred spirit.

You can't PM until you get enough posts in (I'm not sure how many), but my guess is she could really help you.

Other than that, oxyious did a great post in response, and I could not have said it better.

FT

TheReader

Welcome to SR Idun:
Yes - FT is right in that codeine was my primary DOC and I got it from your country - via mail from the UK. By the grace of God I was never caught either bringing this in via mail to the US or possessing in the US. I used 30 mg tabs codeine with your version of tylenol - about 9 to 12 tabs a day on and off for about 4 years. Years ago I was addicted to vicodin, but got off that and started on codeine.
I also think you all in the UK have to work especially hard with the codeine issue since it is available over-the-counter in certain strengths.
Withdrawals and recovery paths seem to be about the same for any type of opiate, though we are all wired differently. I did taper from the codeine and the last withdrawal (back in Dec. 2010 was not quite as bad as previous cold turkey times). One day back on the codeine will probably not hit you too hard with w/d's, but it is the psychological piece that is the hardest to handle, at least for me. The mornings are still my most difficult time.
I am almost at 7 months clean this time and SR friends have been my salvation. Thanks, FT, for calling me a kindred spirit as I feel the same about you.
Idun, I don't know how old you are, but FT and I are in our late 50s and at least for me the roller coaster of opiate use for 20 years just had to stop. But, it is hard. I have almost relapsed on Soma, which was my 2nd DOC, a few weeks ago. I think chasing the drug is almost as addictive as the drug - the excitment of "scoring" as we call it, even if it is ordering online.
We are all here for you, so please keep posting and feel free to ask any specific questions. I wish you the best in your recovery. One day at a time.

hcs3972

I really have no idea how all of this works so I am just going to tell my story and hopefully I am telling it in the right place.
I have never up and decided to take a step towards recovery from meth. Others tried..
Yesterday I found out my neice is shooting bath salts she is 8 months older then my 16 year old daughter. I almost puked. I have not been involved in my daughters lives for about6 months I have no idea what they are into, because i was so involved with the doing and dealing of meth.
So I hit the pipe and it made me sick, all of it the lifestyle the easy money the losing the boyfriend (who happens to be the most understanding and awesome person I have ever met) I don't want to lose anymore then what is already gone.
For the first time I am admitting I have a problem and I am doing something about it myself. All of the decisions are mine and mine alone.

Its not going to be easy i know that

Dee74

Welcome to SR Idun

I know there's a codeine support group in the UK...you'll find links and details here:
CodeineFree | Support | Patient UK

also
http://www.addaction.org.uk/

and SMART which might have meetings/resources closer than NA
http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

D

Dee74

Hi again hcs

If you'd like to start your own thread on any of your posts, you'd probably get more replies..up to you tho

D