will I ever be free?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Reevesville SC
Posts: 9
will I ever be free?
Hey friends...well it doesnt look like I will be posting a success story anytime soon. I was on the 3rd day of being sober, the withdrawls were tapering off, and I could sleep. We were invited to a BBQ by some long time friends and since I had been cooped up for a few days an feeling bette, we decided to go. It was nice to socialize even though my stomache was still a little unpredictable from the withdrawls. I was on my way across the yard, I stepped into a hole, rolled my foot , and went down. Went down hard too.
So...turns out I SHATTERED my wrist and broke 2 fingers. I ended up having to have emergency surgery last night to repair my wrist. Had to have a plate and 4 pins. I have not been released yet. Looks like it wont be until tomorrow. Lovely. Almost seems like all that suffering with the withdrawls was redundant. the important thing for me is tgat I did not fail. This was not within my control. I just hope when the time comes, I am strong enough once again to kick the habit. What am I supposed to do...suffer?
So...turns out I SHATTERED my wrist and broke 2 fingers. I ended up having to have emergency surgery last night to repair my wrist. Had to have a plate and 4 pins. I have not been released yet. Looks like it wont be until tomorrow. Lovely. Almost seems like all that suffering with the withdrawls was redundant. the important thing for me is tgat I did not fail. This was not within my control. I just hope when the time comes, I am strong enough once again to kick the habit. What am I supposed to do...suffer?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Lynet,
There is a reason that pain medications exist, and not for the pleasure of addicts!
Seriously.
When you are seriously injured, need surgery, or have a painful medical condition, you need pain medications. Period.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Believe me, when and if I need surgery, I am not going to "tough it out", except to the extent that after I am medically released I am not going to continue the pain medications past the place they were intended. Which is what got me in trouble before.
Now. Heal up, girl, and THEN get on track. Meanwhile, keep reading and posting here, because this was not a "slip-up". Even if it were, my advice would be the same!
FT
There is a reason that pain medications exist, and not for the pleasure of addicts!
Seriously.
When you are seriously injured, need surgery, or have a painful medical condition, you need pain medications. Period.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Believe me, when and if I need surgery, I am not going to "tough it out", except to the extent that after I am medically released I am not going to continue the pain medications past the place they were intended. Which is what got me in trouble before.
Now. Heal up, girl, and THEN get on track. Meanwhile, keep reading and posting here, because this was not a "slip-up". Even if it were, my advice would be the same!
FT
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
As they say "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." I'm sorry for your fall but you will heal. How many times as addicts do we fall in the same hole over and over. Intead of broken bones we have splintered lives. Hang in there. It Will Get Better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Lynet 
Hey friends...well it doesnt look like I will be posting a success story anytime soon. I was on the 3rd day of being sober, the withdrawls were tapering off, and I could sleep. We were invited to a BBQ by some long time friends and since I had been cooped up for a few days an feeling bette, we decided to go. It was nice to socialize even though my stomache was still a little unpredictable from the withdrawls. I was on my way across the yard, I stepped into a hole, rolled my foot , and went down. Went down hard too.
So...turns out I SHATTERED my wrist and broke 2 fingers. I ended up having to have emergency surgery last night to repair my wrist. Had to have a plate and 4 pins. I have not been released yet. Looks like it wont be until tomorrow. Lovely. Almost seems like all that suffering with the withdrawls was redundant. the important thing for me is tgat I did not fail. This was not within my control. I just hope when the time comes, I am strong enough once again to kick the habit. What am I supposed to do...suffer?
So...turns out I SHATTERED my wrist and broke 2 fingers. I ended up having to have emergency surgery last night to repair my wrist. Had to have a plate and 4 pins. I have not been released yet. Looks like it wont be until tomorrow. Lovely. Almost seems like all that suffering with the withdrawls was redundant. the important thing for me is tgat I did not fail. This was not within my control. I just hope when the time comes, I am strong enough once again to kick the habit. What am I supposed to do...suffer?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Sorry for your fall, Lynet.
Accidents like that happen - I have a lot of them - I always let the attending Dr know about my addictive past tho, just in case it will make a difference in the medication or treatments prescribed.
If you're determined you should be able to keep on track
D
Accidents like that happen - I have a lot of them - I always let the attending Dr know about my addictive past tho, just in case it will make a difference in the medication or treatments prescribed.
If you're determined you should be able to keep on track
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 40
Hi Lynet, I just read your previous posts (in order) and this one breaks my heart. Not because you've done anything wrong (you have NOT!) but because I feel bad that you'll have to postpone for a little bit. Pain is pain and sometimes medication is a must. I'm currently 12 days sober and I can tell you it gets better. I have a lot of friends, but I'm currently single and was too full of pride to let any of them know that I was going to detox myself (hell, only one of them knows I was even taking anything). I had to kick it all alone and that was very tough, take comfort in knowing that your husband will be there supporting you when you continue on your path of kicking these things.
A couple things that encouraged me...
- Even in the thick of it, during the first four days, there were little moments where I felt "OK". Even though they were literally seconds in duration at first, those moments continued to grow longer and longer. Now I'm saying to myself "TODAY is a good day" instead of "those last five seconds felt ok." It does get better.
- I know that everybody reacts differently, but one thing I found kinda fun was all the feelings and sensations I was rediscovering. An Opiate addict doesn't realize just how "dumbing" opiates make your entire system until you're free of it. Sure, anxiety is escalated and you feel like everything is coming at you at once, but there are little things that can actually be kinda fun to experience. The first thing I noticed was just how many scents I was smelling. I felt super-human, it was like I could smell weird little things that weren't anywhere near me! I found myself shaking my head and grinning at that.
- Another sensation, and this one still happens even 12 days later, that I turned into a positive was the "hair raising on the back of your kneck" feeling. It happens all the time now. Instead of being annoyed by it, I've actually kind of embraced it. It almost feels like an adrenaline rush and it happens to me all throughout the day, it also makes me smile.
I guess my biggest suggestion would be to try and do something during those first few days. I spent the first two days going from my home office to my bed, off and on all day long. It seemed like hours were going by, but it was only minutes... time really dragged on. Then, on the third day, I decided that I couldn't stand sitting there in my own filth for another minute. I went for a walk and while it was difficult, I found it to pass the time more quickly and my crazy RLS didn't bother me while I was walking. Any time I could keep my legs busy walking or exercising, RLS was far easier to work through.
Anyway, keep your head held high and when the time is right, I know you have the heart and the will to get you through this.
A couple things that encouraged me...
- Even in the thick of it, during the first four days, there were little moments where I felt "OK". Even though they were literally seconds in duration at first, those moments continued to grow longer and longer. Now I'm saying to myself "TODAY is a good day" instead of "those last five seconds felt ok." It does get better.
- I know that everybody reacts differently, but one thing I found kinda fun was all the feelings and sensations I was rediscovering. An Opiate addict doesn't realize just how "dumbing" opiates make your entire system until you're free of it. Sure, anxiety is escalated and you feel like everything is coming at you at once, but there are little things that can actually be kinda fun to experience. The first thing I noticed was just how many scents I was smelling. I felt super-human, it was like I could smell weird little things that weren't anywhere near me! I found myself shaking my head and grinning at that.
- Another sensation, and this one still happens even 12 days later, that I turned into a positive was the "hair raising on the back of your kneck" feeling. It happens all the time now. Instead of being annoyed by it, I've actually kind of embraced it. It almost feels like an adrenaline rush and it happens to me all throughout the day, it also makes me smile.
I guess my biggest suggestion would be to try and do something during those first few days. I spent the first two days going from my home office to my bed, off and on all day long. It seemed like hours were going by, but it was only minutes... time really dragged on. Then, on the third day, I decided that I couldn't stand sitting there in my own filth for another minute. I went for a walk and while it was difficult, I found it to pass the time more quickly and my crazy RLS didn't bother me while I was walking. Any time I could keep my legs busy walking or exercising, RLS was far easier to work through.
Anyway, keep your head held high and when the time is right, I know you have the heart and the will to get you through this.
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