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She has to quit cold , now what do I do ??

Old 07-05-2011, 07:07 PM
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She has to quit cold , now what do I do ??

Hi again , I know I haven't been here in awhile but for a little while while my daughter was doing a wean off program with doc . I thought this is great she'll slowly get clean from abuseing pain meds ,. Guess I was very very wrong ... As of today she has zero pain meds and if they take her meicaid she'll have no psych meds either . I have a counselor and even have crisis counselors who will talk me through the bad times . I can feel it coming . The worst of all of this she can go pick a bottle of 7 more pills , at least that's how many she told me she was getting .I also have my pain meds for fibromyalgia . She knows this so the momment she sees me with a pharmacy bag the begging begins . I'll write more later she's home from a meeting
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Old 07-06-2011, 08:00 AM
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Hi Ravensong,

I'm so sorry you are in a position where you feel like you have to take responsibility for an adult woman addict.

She is married, she is an adult. Why are you responsible?

You sound like you have your own health problems to worry about. Why should she "see" your pharmacy bag. Don't let her see it, and don't keep your pills in the house. Keep them ANYWHERE, including someone else's house, if you have to do that to keep her from stealing them.

Look, when I was addicted to pain meds, feeling guilty about it did not stop me from searching my 83 year old mother's bathroom and bedroom cupboards looking to take her pain medications after spinal surgery. Addicts will do sick things.

If your daughter is losing her medical, she should get prescriptions she can fill for the next year while SHE figures that out. Or her HUSBAND figures that out. A lot of prescriptions are cheap, but I would not count on her to wean herself down off pain meds by herself. Chances are she is taking a LOT more than you know about. Maybe not. Maybe I am being unfair.

But there is some reason that you are here, worried. She must have given you reason for that.

You'll get lots of support here. It would help to have more information. Wouldn't it be great if SHE were the one posting here, looking for withdrawal help?
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Old 07-06-2011, 11:51 AM
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Talking

Hi , I've tried to get to at least read some of the posts here but she always has an exscue to not even look at what I'm reading . I'm here because there is still so much I don't know or understand about this addiction . I used to use various drugs for fun when I was teen . Then I got married at 16 and I put a stop to all of it because I had a family to care for .
I did find out from her husband a few days ago not only has he been giving her far more pills than she needs but he has been calling a friend for her to beg for pills . He honestly belieaved her when she she suddenly began having pain !!! I lock up my meds and either I or my husband have the keys on us all the time . She's begged me then gone to hin and begged him to give her pills . I just told her NO. We have stuck to our guns on this issue . So far she hasn't got to the point of suddenly not giving me rides to the doctor because I won't give her pills . We're doing everything we can to find a place to live . That's my biggest stress right now ... But it's seems to be calm around here today .
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Old 07-06-2011, 12:24 PM
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Hi Ravensong,

It is extremely painful to have an adult child who is addicted, especially if you have been unknowingly enabling them for a long time and suddenly want to stop being the enabler.

Addicts can get really nasty when you are no longer cooperative, including trying to make you feel guilty for their situation. They refuse to look at their own problem, instead deciding that YOU are the problem.

Don't fall for it. It will be tough, but she has to WANT to stop taking opiates before she will actually do it.

Take good care of yourself and your husband, and make your priorities your own well being. Your daughter has to grow up and become a responsible adult. Give her the kind of help that won't actually harm her, if you know what I mean. Making it easier for her to use is one of those things.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

FT
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Old 07-08-2011, 12:03 PM
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Hi again Failedtaper . Thanks for input , I had my oldest daughters hubby snaek out and pick my meds from the pharmacy this morning while J was lieing in bed pretending to have a migraine . Well she did get up and take my granddaughter to "the boys and girls club".
The worst part of all of this , I've always taught my kids to be open and honest . No I find myself lieing to her about anything and everything that has to do with pain eds ,,,
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Old 07-08-2011, 02:55 PM
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Hi Ravensong,

My heart absolutely goes out to you.

You have every right to use whatever "protective mechanisms" you need to use, to protect both yourself and your daughter. In my experience, the biggest mistake when dealing with addicted people is expecting them to behave rationally and make rational decisions. Oh, they may be good at fooling everybody else, but BELIEVE me, addicts are functioning on an altered state -- chemically altered -- and it is not even POSSIBLE for them to make rational choices.

Trying to have a rational discussion with them is even worse. Don't expect reason.

At some point -- and I was the addicted one -- the addict has to reach a place where is is less attractive or desirable to use than it is to get clean. As long as they are enabled and it is easy to use, there is no rational reason for them to choose to go through withdrawal. As we used to say in the 60's, "If it feels good, do it."

Well not any more.

You will reach a place -- hopefully soon -- where it is less attractive to you to enable her than it is to get tough with her. An addiction counselor once told me, "The addict is walking down a hallway with lots of doors, and ONLY after the only door that is not locked is the one to getting clean and sober, then they will choose that door."

Right now, you have too many open doors for her. She will take the path of least resistance.

Good luck, and take care of yourself first. You are no good to anyone if you don't.

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Old 07-10-2011, 04:42 AM
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I'm going to leave out my "personal" opinions, this is more of an answer based on my experience: Have her do it cold turkey. I did it, she won't die, she'll feel like she has a bad flu for about a week (it does vary based on amount taken/length taken and general stats), but from what I've understood, my cold turkey detox was right on par with many. Out of one week, only one day did I just wanna curl up and cry (I call it the Pukey PEAK) Exactly half way through the week long detox, many people, including me experience one day of intense vomiting, the next day is almost like a gift from God, ALL KINDS OF YUCKIE FEELINGS GO AWAY and you are left with simply symptoms that people who aren't even detoxing suffer all over the world, ALL of the time (insomnia, mild diarreah, restlessness).

Some people do have horrible detoxes, but most of those were doing much worse than your daughter. I also think some people exxagerate their symptoms (someone I know does and I asked him why and he replied "to scare people away from starting them" and I had to point out that by the time they are at a recovery board, most of them are already there, all you are doing is scaring them from stopping. I WAS EVEN AFRAID TO STOP because of reading so much, but I just sucked it up, did it and I made a long post with updates and it wasn't that bad. Having food poisoning was so much worse.

God Bless, keep us updated, send her here, everyone here is great. Private Message people if you don't want to broadcast all of your questions. There is help for you and her here. Just don't be afraid of the Cold Turkey with opiates because it's not dangerous like alcohol (booze and benzos are two things people should never detox from unsupervised) I've never heard of opiates being dangerous to stop... I've also cold turkey'ed benzo's in the past, I wasn't even abusing. I was prescribed them for a few months after a devestating incident in my life, one morning, I woke up, felt great---tossed em and three days later I was having seizures... (MY POINT is please make sure she doesn't substitute one drug for another that could be potentially more harmful) Some quacks will do that. Always seek advice of a medical professional without an agenda. (By Agenda, I mean one that isn't part owner in a detox center they want to send you to, etc... You truly want someone that has your Daughter and your families recovery as their best interest because you'll all be going through it together (as I'm sure you can already see). I had no support. I commend you for being there for her.
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Old 07-10-2011, 04:58 AM
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Thank you for being here!

Please seek medical advice. If your daughter has been on psych meds (as you say) as well as pain meds...if she has any possible blood pressure issues or the like....PLEASE SEEK REAL MEDICAL ADVICE PRIOR TO DOING COLD TURKEY.

Do NOT be fooled. It CAN be dangerous for some people. Consult a dr. who can well advise of such things.

Lastly, unfortunately, if your daughter wants it, she'll find it. You can't do cold turkey without wanting to or being in jail. Be prepared. Take care of yourself.

Hugs and blessings to you.
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Old 07-10-2011, 05:08 AM
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What she said. I agreed that even though opiates are infamous for not being dangerous to seek the advice of a Doc with no agenda, but I forgot one key element that will help her be a little more comfortable. This symptom affects MOST, but not all people and the ones it does it can drive crazy.

Opiate and other Psychotropic Meds:

- A HORRIBLE taste in your mouth for a week or more. Foods that were normally your favorite could make your stomach turn. Having sour candies around helped me a LOT to get rid of that taste that words can't describe and the thickened saliva. (Sour candies were my favorite, but get your Daughter Her favorite, preferablly long lasting because as soon as they run out, that bad taste returns and it's especially bad in the morning after you've managed to get a few hours of sleep).

I'm sure someone else here has experienced that?
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Old 07-10-2011, 06:12 AM
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it's funny - I loaded up on 'soft sweet foods' and ended up living on water, grits and scrambled eggs. That's it. Once a day for 5 days.

who knew?
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