My Drunk Father
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 2
My Drunk Father
My father is a drunk,, My wife and I uprooted our children when my mother got sick ALS to take care of her. Now that she has passed I dont know what to do with him. He will drink everyday until he is falling down drunk he does fall and gets hurt all the time.. My wife has been remolding the house and he has damaged about everything new she has put in there.. He will not go to the dr, he will not shower, he will not let her clean hisroom or bathroom, he wes himself and hides wet clothes in his room, we just bought a new leather livingrom set and the chair isnt anygood anymore because he wets in it and will not clean it and she refuses to do it.. When he mixes his drink he will spill it in floor and not clean it up... SHe calls him her 1 yr old.. I need help also he has set the house on fire i dont know what to do thanks
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
I second what dgillz said; it seems it might be time for some professional help....hospitalization or something (out of your house, anyway).........
I know many folks believe that family should take care of family.....BUT we're not all 'perfect' caregivers; doesn't mean we don't care. In the last years of my mother's life, I had to put her in a nursing home. Of course there were some folks who looked down on me for this. I would look at them and say (well think it, at least), "I'm sorry, this does NOT mean that I don't love my mother (one of their favorite accusations of me); I do love her; I just know me and my limitations." It was a wonderful place, clean and lots of loving folks around, lots of activities, great food, and terrific, 24hr nursing and doctor care (at $15,000.00 a month it had better been). Although at the end, my mom had slipped way down into dimentia (plus multiple strokes and asphasia), but up till then, she seemed to be totally ok with it all.
Here's hoping all goes well with y'all.
(o:
NoelleR
P.S. I'll be keeping the prayers (positive thoughts, for those non-believers) going for you 'n yours.........
I know many folks believe that family should take care of family.....BUT we're not all 'perfect' caregivers; doesn't mean we don't care. In the last years of my mother's life, I had to put her in a nursing home. Of course there were some folks who looked down on me for this. I would look at them and say (well think it, at least), "I'm sorry, this does NOT mean that I don't love my mother (one of their favorite accusations of me); I do love her; I just know me and my limitations." It was a wonderful place, clean and lots of loving folks around, lots of activities, great food, and terrific, 24hr nursing and doctor care (at $15,000.00 a month it had better been). Although at the end, my mom had slipped way down into dimentia (plus multiple strokes and asphasia), but up till then, she seemed to be totally ok with it all.
Here's hoping all goes well with y'all.
(o:
NoelleR
P.S. I'll be keeping the prayers (positive thoughts, for those non-believers) going for you 'n yours.........
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Hungary
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by NoelleR 
I know many folks believe that family should take care of family.....BUT we're not all 'perfect' caregivers; doesn't mean we don't care.
My family was in a similar situation with my grandpa. He went to live in a home for the elderly and I must say it was a relief for everyone involved! In the end he was happy too because he had more freedom there and he was taken care of without any quarrels so he could do as he pleased
I hope things will be better for you too, I agree with the previous posters, try to find help, don't think you have to go through this alone!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
sorry that you are going through this.
when someone becomes a danger to his self and others, that is time , in my opinion, to make arrangements. in another place, he would not be able to drink, or set the place on fire. your family is at risk here. i know this must be hard.
when i get old, tho i am not a drinker, if i am a danger to my family, i hope they put me somewhere else, so they can be safe. i would not want to stay with them, at risk of hurting them or making their lives unbearable.
if he does not care enough about his self or others, he may as well be living somewhere else , in my mind.
good luck to you. you have been angels to have dealt with this for so long,
hugs
chicory
when someone becomes a danger to his self and others, that is time , in my opinion, to make arrangements. in another place, he would not be able to drink, or set the place on fire. your family is at risk here. i know this must be hard.
when i get old, tho i am not a drinker, if i am a danger to my family, i hope they put me somewhere else, so they can be safe. i would not want to stay with them, at risk of hurting them or making their lives unbearable.
if he does not care enough about his self or others, he may as well be living somewhere else , in my mind.
good luck to you. you have been angels to have dealt with this for so long,
hugs
chicory
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
My mother is the primary alcoholic in my life. I could never live with her, or, have her live with me. So, when she becomes totally unable to take care of herself, she will have to go into a senior living home.
If she would not to comply with moving into a senior home, I would do what I had to do to have it legally declared.
To be totally honest, your family should not have to deal with him, this is unfair to them.
Hope it all works out for you!
If she would not to comply with moving into a senior home, I would do what I had to do to have it legally declared.
To be totally honest, your family should not have to deal with him, this is unfair to them.
Hope it all works out for you!
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