I am using again but it's ok
Servant of God
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Posts: 214
I am using again but it's ok
I finally relented today and got a perscription for pain meds from my Dr. I am having the worst disk pain that I have ever felt and I just couldn't take it anymore. The thing is I don't feel bad about it.
Yesterday was around 7 weeks clean for me from 5 years of pain meds. I was completely honest with my Dr. about my past substance abuse and I only got a 5 day supply for this and I have a plan. I spent the last 3 days in PT and other treatments to no avail. I need a new MRI and it's scheduled Monday and a follow up with Neurosurgeon on Tues. Everyone will know that I don't want to treat with narcotics. Surgery is the most likely and I plan to treat the pain with meds if necessary.
I think I'm doing things the right way now and I think I'm going to be alright. I am scared though of not being able to walk. Been like that for two days now. I just needed to post this for the sake of the process. Thanks.
Yesterday was around 7 weeks clean for me from 5 years of pain meds. I was completely honest with my Dr. about my past substance abuse and I only got a 5 day supply for this and I have a plan. I spent the last 3 days in PT and other treatments to no avail. I need a new MRI and it's scheduled Monday and a follow up with Neurosurgeon on Tues. Everyone will know that I don't want to treat with narcotics. Surgery is the most likely and I plan to treat the pain with meds if necessary.
I think I'm doing things the right way now and I think I'm going to be alright. I am scared though of not being able to walk. Been like that for two days now. I just needed to post this for the sake of the process. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi FNB3:
I'm relieved to hear from you.
You know there are legitimate reasons that opiates exist. We just need to know where the line is drawn, and I believe you do.
I hope your plans fall together Monday and Tuesday with the MRI and physician visit.
You must take care of yourself, and you are not self medicating in place of doctor help. I don't see any other way you could have done this.
FT
I'm relieved to hear from you.
You know there are legitimate reasons that opiates exist. We just need to know where the line is drawn, and I believe you do.
I hope your plans fall together Monday and Tuesday with the MRI and physician visit.
You must take care of yourself, and you are not self medicating in place of doctor help. I don't see any other way you could have done this.
FT
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NYC/NJ
Posts: 431
Good for you. Some people are so set on maintaining total abstinence and keeping their "clean time" that they suffer needlessly. As long as you're confident that it's temporary and isn't the beginning of another spiral into long-term use and dependency, then enjoy the relief my friend!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((FNB3))) - I think it's great that you came here and posted about it. As you know, I, too, have the back pain issue and occasionally have to take pain meds. Also just had some major dental work, but dentist knows my history and gives the same limited Rx whether I've had 2 teeth pulled (in the past) or 17 and dentures/partial (this time).
I keep my recovery as a priority, but quality of life is also important. If ibuprofen or percogesic (OTC) work, that's what I take.
My aunt has had 2 back surgeries (years ago) but has recently been having a lot of pain. They did an MRI on her, and she is having an epidural injection on Tue. She HATES pain meds and the way they make her feel, and even when she broke her thigh bone, last year, she took them only when they were absolutely necessary.
I hope the dr's find something that works for you. We don't realize how much we take our backs for granted until they start hurting really bad.
Stick close to your support...it's always helped me. I found that when I'm REALLY in pain, I don't even feel the high..in fact the meds often make me nauseated, and I think that's HP's way of reminding me that it's not something I want to keep doing.
Please keep us posted on the MRI and what's going on with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I keep my recovery as a priority, but quality of life is also important. If ibuprofen or percogesic (OTC) work, that's what I take.
My aunt has had 2 back surgeries (years ago) but has recently been having a lot of pain. They did an MRI on her, and she is having an epidural injection on Tue. She HATES pain meds and the way they make her feel, and even when she broke her thigh bone, last year, she took them only when they were absolutely necessary.
I hope the dr's find something that works for you. We don't realize how much we take our backs for granted until they start hurting really bad.
Stick close to your support...it's always helped me. I found that when I'm REALLY in pain, I don't even feel the high..in fact the meds often make me nauseated, and I think that's HP's way of reminding me that it's not something I want to keep doing.
Please keep us posted on the MRI and what's going on with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Servant of God
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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I'm doing ok. Not really getting too much relief from the narcotics. It's like going from whimpering, ready to pass out pain to pain that is just really uncomfortable.
Not really feeling obsessed with the bottle of pills like I thought I might be. Sleep cycle is messed up.
Happy Fathers Day everyone!
Not really feeling obsessed with the bottle of pills like I thought I might be. Sleep cycle is messed up.
Happy Fathers Day everyone!
Servant of God
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
Today I got some epidural injections that seemed to help a little bit. Hopefully I can stop the pain meds tonight or tomorrow. I never want to go through that withdrawal again...it's still so fresh in my mind how rotten it was. Being in severe pain isn't nearly as bad as opiate withdrawl was.
Eternally Grateful 4/25/08
Join Date: Apr 2011
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FNB,
I'm glad to hear you are doing better. It bothered me a little bit when you said you were "using" again, because that word has such negative connotations. When in reality you sought the help of your doctor, was honest with him about your history with opiates and made a plan that would ensure things did not get out of hand. I have a lot of respect for how you handled the situation and I think you're going to be ok and this will not negatively impact your recovery. There are a lot of people on this board that have very bad pain and chronic conditions that must be treated for them to maintain their quality of life. I think you are really setting a good example of how that can be done responsibly. I think every prescription drug addict in recovery worries about what might happen if the day comes when they legitimately need narcotics. I myself fear it, but you've eased my mind with your plan! So thank you for sharing that with us and I hope you are able to get some pain relief!
I'm glad to hear you are doing better. It bothered me a little bit when you said you were "using" again, because that word has such negative connotations. When in reality you sought the help of your doctor, was honest with him about your history with opiates and made a plan that would ensure things did not get out of hand. I have a lot of respect for how you handled the situation and I think you're going to be ok and this will not negatively impact your recovery. There are a lot of people on this board that have very bad pain and chronic conditions that must be treated for them to maintain their quality of life. I think you are really setting a good example of how that can be done responsibly. I think every prescription drug addict in recovery worries about what might happen if the day comes when they legitimately need narcotics. I myself fear it, but you've eased my mind with your plan! So thank you for sharing that with us and I hope you are able to get some pain relief!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi FNB3:
The epidural injections have an anesthesia phase and then a therapeutic phase, but they probably told you that. Sometimes they use these things for diagnostic purposes, to see if surgery would help the affected areas. Sometimes the injections are enough alone.
I just hope to see you get some relief. It's just crap to have to go through this. I do know that soft tissue takes a lot longer to heal than bone, so home something works for you.
I think you said you've done PT. Is that going to be part of this too?
FT
The epidural injections have an anesthesia phase and then a therapeutic phase, but they probably told you that. Sometimes they use these things for diagnostic purposes, to see if surgery would help the affected areas. Sometimes the injections are enough alone.
I just hope to see you get some relief. It's just crap to have to go through this. I do know that soft tissue takes a lot longer to heal than bone, so home something works for you.
I think you said you've done PT. Is that going to be part of this too?
FT
Servant of God
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Cocobella, thanks so much for the kind words. I can't tell you how much the mean to me and how much I need them...the reassurance. I wish I wasn't so fresh in recovery now to go through this but it's here so I have to. I'm just trying to do the next right thing now and be as honest as I can. It's not that hard as it seems to be honest I'm seeing (if that makes any sence). Those old sneaky behaviors ore still fleeting thoughts and I swear people must think I'm nuts right now because I'm finding myself telling my situation to a lot of complete strangers. The looks I'm getting make me want to laugh a little but I just remember that I'm disclosing all this stuff about my addictions for me only.
Servant of God
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Posts: 214
FT, yes PT will be a part of it even if all I need is a tune-up on the right strengthening disciplines. I consider myself pretty core-strong and active already but there may be some specific things I'm missing.
I went to a 12-step meeting tonight and told everyone what was happening and man did I get lambasted by some there. It's tough but it's ok. I know that most of those comments were more about them than me and I've just got to believe that honesty will keep me in the right direction here. I really believe that just prayer and keeping God first and being honest will keep me ok. And I really feel strongly that I can't stay onthese things for more than a few days. I don't think it would be too easy to hold on to the clean way of thinking for too much longer than that now that I'm in the middle of it.
I went to a 12-step meeting tonight and told everyone what was happening and man did I get lambasted by some there. It's tough but it's ok. I know that most of those comments were more about them than me and I've just got to believe that honesty will keep me in the right direction here. I really believe that just prayer and keeping God first and being honest will keep me ok. And I really feel strongly that I can't stay onthese things for more than a few days. I don't think it would be too easy to hold on to the clean way of thinking for too much longer than that now that I'm in the middle of it.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by LuvInDaisy 
I also broke my middle finger recently.
The Dr gave me persciptions for pains meds.
He was pretty nice. Told me it wasnt addictive.
it was all in my motive..
People get addictiveed If people miss use it and wanna use it for recreations or get high off of it.
He precibe it to me anyways. He told me , i didnt know how painful it was going
to be for me that next day...if I needed it, then take it..if I didn't then dont.
As simple as that.
The Dr gave me persciptions for pains meds.
He was pretty nice. Told me it wasnt addictive.
it was all in my motive..
People get addictiveed If people miss use it and wanna use it for recreations or get high off of it.
He precibe it to me anyways. He told me , i didnt know how painful it was going
to be for me that next day...if I needed it, then take it..if I didn't then dont.
As simple as that.
I have an upcoming surgery AGAIN for an obstructed common bile duct, so I imagine I will need something post operative but I'm giving it to a friend to dole out, just to be on the safe side. I've had my CBduct sliced open and drained before, but this time they are cutting it open and inserting a shunt so it doesn't keep clogging up. I can't imagine having someone slicing and inserting plastic tubes in to my digestive system is going to feel good, but I'm hoping, HOPING, WISHING that I can get by without the aid of narcotics. BUT, as I said, if I do need them, my friend will be in control of them.
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