step 8 question
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Truthinsideofme
Posts: 2
step 8 question
What about someone we may have harmed while blacked-out? We can only imagine those we could have harmed in some way while we were totally out of our mind. I still get freaked out at the things I might have done and dwell too much on it I guess. It could be total paranoia. Any thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
Jedi,
Unless someone were to tell me what I did when I blacked out, I would have no way of knowing. I have more than enough amends to make with the things I do remember.
One of the questions I plan to ask as I am making my amends is: "Is there anything else that I have done to harm you?" Then I will shut up and listen. It is possible that stuff that happened during a blackout will come up the person's answer.
I am going to work on the amend that I am aware of. If there are other incidents that I need to make amends for, I believe that my Higher Power will show me those things.
Susan
Unless someone were to tell me what I did when I blacked out, I would have no way of knowing. I have more than enough amends to make with the things I do remember.
One of the questions I plan to ask as I am making my amends is: "Is there anything else that I have done to harm you?" Then I will shut up and listen. It is possible that stuff that happened during a blackout will come up the person's answer.
I am going to work on the amend that I am aware of. If there are other incidents that I need to make amends for, I believe that my Higher Power will show me those things.
Susan
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
"Made a list of all the persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all".
You can't list them if you don't know about it. If while in a blackout, you did something bad and were told about it later by someone you trust, then that person belongs on your amends list. I also like Susan's idea.
One of the issues I had with 8 was set clear to me by my sponsor. This is about all the stuff you did, it is not about if the amends are possible. So if you harmed someone and can't remember their name, if they have died, or moved away and no one has heard from them, or whatever - these people still belong on your list. And equally important, you become willing to make the amends. The amends may never be possible, but when you have a complete list and are willing to make amends, then you are through with step 8.
You can't list them if you don't know about it. If while in a blackout, you did something bad and were told about it later by someone you trust, then that person belongs on your amends list. I also like Susan's idea.
One of the issues I had with 8 was set clear to me by my sponsor. This is about all the stuff you did, it is not about if the amends are possible. So if you harmed someone and can't remember their name, if they have died, or moved away and no one has heard from them, or whatever - these people still belong on your list. And equally important, you become willing to make the amends. The amends may never be possible, but when you have a complete list and are willing to make amends, then you are through with step 8.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Truthinsideofme
Posts: 2
Thanks guys for welcoming me. Yeah I guess what really matters is the sincerity of the heart to take the next step and I agree with the fact that our HP will help with the details of it all. I really beat myself up sometimes for things I dont even remember doing.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
I do know of several men who came out of a blackout in jail only to find out they had killed people while in a blackout.
that's a different story compared to what we may have feared we had done.
that's a different story compared to what we may have feared we had done.
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