skinnypuppy

I know Im gonna get my cyber arse kicked for what Im gonna say. Today at 6pm will be 96hours opiate "Norco" free. I was using 90mg daily. I have been drinking alcohol to numb the withdrawall effects. It has helped with sleep but it is not a smart thing for me. I was almost 10 years alcohol "former hardcore drinker" free untill I tried quitting these painkillers a month ago. The positive note though "96 hours clean from the damned Norco!". I have a few beers left and have vowed not to buy anymore alcohol. That is one demon I should not be playing with, but the withdrawalls from the opiates were so painful I needed something. I think Im feeling the initial withdrawall symptoms beginning to subside minus insomnia and the worst "nerves in my hands and feet keeping me awake". Oh I forgot to mention that Im not claiming a sobriety date untill Im done with the alcohol too.

tuffenuff

Glad you're here.

opmloser

Don't worry about anyone kicking - me thinks that many of us would've happily turned to anything to ease the w/d's, including eating sheetrock off the walls!
I appreciate your Absolut honesty

BeenDown2Times

I almost killed myself when I tried drinking to ease the pain of opiate withdrawals. Blacked out and woke up in the hospital. That was enough to convince me that alcohol is bad news when you're trying to kick opiates.

I'd pour the beer down the drain, personally.

SteppingItUp

Hey Skinny,

I would trust that desire to stop altogether. Addiction is a clever beast, and it will tell us all kinds of nonsense to get us to stay under its spell. Alcohol is just another head on the hydra.

Alcohol was my first DOC, and eventually I made it to smoking heroin, which I continued to use for 6 years. I detoxed on my own two years ago, and I heard that same voice telling me that maybe I should ride out the withdrawals by drinking my way through them. I didn't listen, and I am grateful for that, because I'm not sure I would have ever been able to stop.

Getting stopped was one thing, and staying stopped is another. I go to AA and NA, and they have been a saving grace in my world.

I'm rooting and praying for you!

skinnypuppy

Day 5 opiate free, but not alcohol. My wife went shopping with my boy and I snook to the corner store and bought an 18 pack. While I was in the store I saw someone I knew who knows I was a former alcoholic. I had to wait till he left the store to by my poison. I came so close to saying "f-it" and buying a cream soda instead, but I opted for the poison. I drank all day and had to have an open bottle of non alcoholic beer sitting by me in case my wife asked about the smell. I feel so freakin` guilty and worthless, and like an undeserved father. I dont know why God gave this burden to me. So many people, so many things are at risk while I am playing with fire. I am past the worst of the physical opiate withdrawalls and I really dont need anything to sedate the discomfort anymore. I dont think I have drunk myself into the pit of no return yet. I have a few beers left in the car and I hope to throw them out in the morning and punch myself in the face for playing with fire. I am stupid, lucky, unlucky, smart, evil, good, unworthy of what I have ;-(
p.s. Thanks for all the replies, sorry for the melodrama ;-(

SteppingItUp

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Home

Really big hugs to you, Puppy.

Hang in there -- surrender.

It gets better in recovery, I promise.

Dee74

What I used to think of as a burden has given me a lot of good things.

I learned a lot in fighting my addiction - I became the kind of person I always knew I could be...

Do something, man - fight it SP.

Check out the links Stepping posted - what have you got to lose?

You're not alone in this - you'll find a lot of support here
D

FT

Your self-deprecating rant has demoted you into the ranks of "those who are too subhuman to matter, so why not drink anyway".

As long as you belittle yourself, you are giving yourself all the excuses in the world to continue to drink, and probably resume drugs. It's all or nothing with a lot of us -- if I'm so bad, I might as well be REALLY bad. I should know -- I am like that, too.

Get up off your butt and dust yourself off, and take a real close look at what you are destroying. You really don't know how to have "a few beers" -- you have to buy the whole 18 pack. Come on, man. Sh!t or get off the pot.

I'm all for comforting relapsers here who are trying their best, because we all fall down. I am no saint, and I have done exactly what you are doing. But you are still in hiding, you have not set up your support structure, and your "plan" is simply set up to fail as long as those things remain in place.

I really care, and I don't mean to be mean. I want you to succeed.

FT