Cleanwithdreams7

After reading a lot of peoples opinions and hearing that in order to stay sober from opiates it's probably best to stay sober from everything else as well, I finally decided that I don't want pot in my life anymore and need to start growing up a little more. I recently turned 20 so I don't consider myself a 'teenager' anymore :P.. also I guess you could say I kinda had an epiphany four days ago. I was hanging out with my 'best friends' as I called them back then, and once again, they screwed me over without any thought to what they could be doing to me, or how it could be making me feel(and this was after I just did one of them a favor to), I can't believe I thought these guys were my best friends. They really don't give a **** about me at all!! And the more weed I had in my pockets, the more respect I'd get and the more I'd hear from them. But if I didn't have any weed I literally wouldn't even hear a peep from them. Besides not being able to have true friends in life, and at the same time probably not being able to be anyone elses true friend (because of the weed), I also realized that I wasn't even getting high anymore, and instead all my days were filled with a bunch of negativity, compared to life before pot, so what was the point? It wasn't even benefiting me, and I have a strong enough sleeping pill that I don't even need to smoke at night anymore. Plus I couldn't even remember any of my days, years went by smoking pot and what did I accomplish? NOTHING. So I decided I can't do this anymore, I was spending sometimes $30-$60 a day on pot, sometimes more. Ally my money would go towards it, and I would spend a cheque that's suposed to last me a month, in four days. So four days ago I told my mom what I'm doing, what my plans are, and I gave her everything you can think of related to pot that I owned. Including my $800 volcano! Also I deleted all my druggy 'friends' from facebook and my phone and made a new facebook without anything about drugs mentioned on it, this way I'm not even taking the chance of being reminded of any drugs. I figured a clean start, why not have a clean facebook as well. Also I took down all the weed posters and everything related in my room. So yesterday was my third day off pot! The longest I've stopped in at least 7 months! And I was LOVING every second.. Buut, my brother was having a social last night for his wedding, so I ended up drinking(first time in over a year).. and I got pretty wasted. Before last night I was feeling so awesome about it all, so much better than I have been in months, but I was feeling a little sick from the alcohol, and my body was still adjusting to a methadone wean that I did about two weeks ago, so I got dropped off at the house while my parents were still there. To make a long story short, my moms room was open and low and behold there was the bag of stuff I gave her, not even hidden.. so I opened it, took out one of the pipes and smoked about .1.. that I managed to scrape together from the grinder(where the crystals used to be). And yes it did help me feel a little bit less sick for a little.. But after I burnt out and overall I felt so much shittier than these past couple days have been, and I was really pissed at myself .. it's like I was arguing with my brain whether or not I should smoke before it all happened, part of me didn't want to, but my brain just wouldn't shutup, and usually when I'm sober none of this is really a problem at all, I'm in more control.. today coulda been day four without pot, DAMNNN.. But at least it was only .1 ... Right when I woke up I felt so stupid because I didn't even feel like smoking anymore(I wasn't drunk anymore).. I told my mom everything today though, gave her back the pipe and am gonna continue on this sober path. I wanna have things together by the time I'm 30. So note to self: DON'T drink alcohol either, I guess it's a gateway drug for me as well. I dont really even like being drunk anyways. Everything happens for a reason though(IMO), and I'm glad I found out that I can't drink alcohol, while I was still on methadone.. because if I drank once I am finally off the methadone I can imagine there being a chance that I could relapse on opiates and think nothing of it because of all the stupid alcohol and my lowered inhibitions. I can't wait to be on day 3 without pot again.. and at least it was only a one day relapse and not a week binge. Plus todays saturday so by the time the weekends over, I'll be feeling verrryyy on top of things!(I woud think) Thanks for all your advice everyone!

Cleanwithdreams7

I relapsed about a week ago on pot.. but only because I was getting into worse **** without it, like drinking everyday and coke.. so now if I feel the need to get high, I just smoke weed. Things are still very good. And today I weaned down on my methadone to from 60-55mgs a day

Dee74

I destroyed my life as much on pot as anything else I did Natey.

Are things really very good?
I got tired of stumbling from drug to drug, from crisis to crisis, for years and years.

I finally addressed my 'need to get high': I cleaned up at 40.
I wish I'd had been smart enough to do it at your age.

There's a lot of help out there Natey - all you have to do is reach out...
D

FT

Hey Natey,

Are you in a methadone program? If not, you will have a much better chance at success getting off drugs if you have someone dosing you down.

Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. I wonder if you might want to consider a peer group that doesn't party and get wasted. When you are ready, maybe check out NA or whatever is available to you in Canada.

FT

defyinggravity

I nearly lost my job, school, and home because of pot. I was a drug-hopper...pills to alcohol, alcohol to pot, pot to coke...coke to a suicide attempt. I couldn't stand to be with myself if I wasn't high on something or somehow altered. Now that I'm getting my drug use in check, I'm able to actually address the issues that led to my using in the first place and I'm happier now (sober) than I ever have been before.

I have to agree with failedtaper and Dee - help is out there if you decide you want it and maybe find some friends who aren't into all the drugs and stuff and can really appreciate you for the wonderful person you are and not for the weed in your pocket! Good luck!

Hippyfly

I don't know...it's easy to use becuase it has few side effects ...well so it appears and works quickly. People say it's harmless but I'm certain it's not, well I should know. But...opposed to other things it seems to be better =c primarily you fall asleep on it ...um advice on how to stop it? I guess...it depends what time of day you are doing it, friends also are a big problem since you want to hang out with them but they don't want to with you if you don't use it. You have to get above it I guess.

BobDoom

Some keys to stopping marijuana that I've found helpful:
-lots of physical activity...sometimes I get get such surges of energy without it I can't even focus to work-out...all i can do is pace, clean, or walk.
-don't have any around, gotta commit
-don't supplement with alcohol

Dee74

I'm one of many here, hippyfly, who'll tell you the notion of marijuana being somehow 'less harmless' or 'better' than other things does not match my experience.

I believe I was the problem, not which drug I happened to be abusing at the time.

D

eaglette

Weed actually was my DOC, and I have been off of it for a little over 2 months. (I only have a little over a month of clean time though because I got drunk 39 days in the first go-round.) It is definitely a harmful substance which takes over your life. I did not drink very often when I smoked, but once I stopped, I wanted a shot of tequila like nothing else in this world. It seems like this is what happened to you when you stopped smoking--You wanted to switch to coke and whatnot. This shows that the problem is not the drug; it's you and your addictive tendencies. Smoking weed is still perpetuating the addiction.

defyinggravity

Weed is far from harmless in my experience. And don't let any misguided souls tell you it's not addictive (I know no one said that, but it does seem to be a common belief among many people). It has a pretty rough withdrawal period (not one that can't be overcome, but it takes some work) which I tried to cancel out with cocaine. I've done pretty much every drug under the sun at least once and been 'addicted' to pills, alcohol, weed and coke. Weed was the worst. Weed is the one that nearly cost me everything numerous times and I kept using. It made me stupid, lazy and inefficient at work. I almost lost my place in my graduate program because of it and would subsequently have lost just about everything. I gained 20 pounds, didn't clean my house for months (and I'm still dealing with that one because it got to be such a mess), didn't see any friends or do anything social for months (I wouldn't go anywhere if I couldn't get high), I had chronic bronchitis that is just now (a little over a month off of weed) starting to clear up - I woke up wheezing in the middle of the night, barely able to breathe, I had several inhalers on hand and ready because I couldn't climb stairs without wheezing...no, it was not harmless to me. Not at all. And if I couldn't get weed, first I had a little panic attack, then went out and bought a handle of vodka that I'd drink in maybe 2 days. I had to have something in my system that was altering my brain or I just couldn't handle life.

FT

Hey defying,

Good on ya, finding your way off weed. Somebody VERY close to me had a 15 year weed problem, and stopped smoking it last June. That was after MANY many attempts over a number of years. He's been going yoga and detoxing with juices and teas. It really messed with his lungs, which helped him decide to quit, but not before it cost him a graduate degree about 15 years ago, and years of going nowhere in his job. He's an artist, and for a long time he thought he could not be creative off weed.

For the first few months after he quit, he feared that was true. However, in the past 6 months, he is newly creative, has a new job, and is writing music again. He has a lot of regrets, and continued to kick himself for the years he wasted.

I used to think weed was just fine. I grew my own in the 70's. I smoked it randomly, but mostly got off on looking at the plants. I still love the smell of it. Having said that, "today's" weed is NOTHING like the weed I grew up with in the 60's and 70's. I don't know what they did to it, but it seems that now it is a strong hybrid, cultivated for its potency. I took one hit 15 years ago when I met an old friend, and I was high for 2 days. Wow.

I do know that, since THC is stored in the body's fat cells, it takes quite a while for it to metabolize out of the body. I'm not sure how long, but it seems to take several weeks to no longer be measurable in the blood.

It almost makes me sad that such a "benign" thing as the "old weed" has become something so potent. I am still in favor of its legalization, if nothing else to put some control over contaminants and also to decriminalize those who can use it responsibly. I won't get into that argument any further here, but I really can't see throwing those folks in jail over it.

FT

defyinggravity

FT, I agree about the legalization aspect - mostly... I think there absolutely are people who use it responsibly and I agree that I just don't see throwing those people in jail (but I don't wanna get into that argument here either). *I* can't use it responsibly (but I don't wanna go to jail either! haha...I got into a lot of situations when I was using where I could have, though. I went on runs with the dealers all the time - not good!) On the other hand, providing legal consequences to those who CAN'T use it responsibly *could* be a good thing with regard to providing repercussions that the threat of which might help them get sober. So I can see both sides, to a degree.

defyinggravity

I'm not sure I totally agree about it being impossible to become physically addicted to weed. Two of the main reasons I say this are that weed addicts develop both tolerance and withdrawal upon stopping - which are hallmarks of physical addiction. It can also change the way your brain actually functions - neurotransmitter levels, largely, and your brain can adapt to this change. It's certainly the least physically addicting of all the drugs, but there can be some component of physical addiction.

Ultimately, though, it doesn't really matter if the addiction is physical or psychological. I can't smoke without descending into days, weeks, months of being high all the time and that's just bad for me. I also use it as a coping mechanism and to self-medicate my moods. Either way, it can be bad news bears.

billsaintjames

I am really struggling with my marijuana addiction, and I am nearly 6 months marijuana-free. Last night I almost asked an old friend if she knew where I could get any. It has been much harder to quit marijuana compared cigarettes and alcohol. Don't let anyone tell you it's not addictive.

Cleanwithdreams7

Thanks for the responses everyone!! Sorry I havn't been on here in a while I've been kinda busy and forgetful :P.. I really don't know what it is with me really. I wanted to try and quit something during this 5 day period I finally have off of work. Usually it's been one day on and one day off type of thing and I didn't have enough time to get through the ****. I have been desiring to stop pot again because things were really good without it for those two weeks the last time I stopped. Everything was really good until I got into coke those two times during, and after that things started to seem bad or worse than they had been going, and I told myself it was because I was sober to, I felt like it all seemed so much more impossible. So I started smoking pot again and liked it a lot at first(mind you the first time I smoked again I was still on coke, was having a terrible night and coming down). It's always something that seems to try n make me relapse when I'm doing good. At least I havn't touched coke in weeks though and don't plan on it ever again, that ****'s deadly and I've definetially had my fill with it in my lifetime, plus I'm not a teenager anymore, I don't think I'm invincible anymore, and I don't wanna touch something that can **** with your heart so much, because knowing me with my addictive personality, I'll give myself a heart attack the next time for sure. But that's just another reason why there's never gonna be a next time anyways. I told myself when in need smoke some weed. But I hate the feeling of being in need. I mean maybe things would be a lot different if I was in a relationship again, but right now I don't feel like I should try to get into one when I'm at this point in my life. I mean it's not like I'm using opiates that get you high or anything anymore, and being all numb and ignorant to the world.. It's just, I feel like I should really be ready in a lot of ways first, including having everything paid off and having a start on life, like an education and ideas about stuff. I know it might sound stupid to some of you, but I've only been with one other person and I feel like the next time I should actually try my best not to wreck it with stupid mistakes I've made in my life.
And sometimes some of this **** makes me want get baked even more to.. But by doing that I'm not even getting anything accomplished that I planned to. I at least have to slow down on it, like try to just smoke it in the night or something, before I go to sleep. I've been smoking it all day during my days off pretty much. I still have a bit of debts and havn't saved for school or anything like that.
And now that a couple weeks or so have gone by, I can again easily finish a quarter in 3 days or so.. sometimes a little more if I try my best to stretch it out. It's retarted.
I tried to stop smoking cigarettes the other day and I got through 9 hours without a puff(even with a patch on and nicorette gum when needed), it still was so bad at some point that I finally just caved, I couldnt handle it anymore! The cravings were strong as hell, I was smoking weed because I thought it would help and then when I got the munchies I'd munch out, but then once I was done eating I would get huge cravings and mental images of smoking because I ALWAYS would have a cig RIGHT after eating. I found it wouldnt **** with your stomach as much because you just ate, and I guess I just really enjoyed smoking after eating(still do :P). There was so much different cravings I was going through all day long and symptoms(even with the patch, it didn't seem to help). I only quit cigarettes one other time before and it was for two full months at least. That time I used the patch to and eventually weaned off the patch by going to the smaller patches, eventually the smallest one for a couple weeks, and than half of the smallest one for a couple weeks, and than off. I was doing fine for a while to, but was hanging out with a buddy who would smoke around me all the time(bad influence), so one day he asked if I wanted one and me(stupidly) asked him if he thought it would be an alright idea, just to have one every once in a while, and he agreed with me that one wouldnt hurt.. But right after that one smoke my thinking changed from there and evenutally as time passed my addiction grew WAY stronger than before .. I heard from quite a few people(after I already started smoking again BTW) that if you start again after quitting, the addiction's A LOT stronger than before and it gets way harder to quit each time you relapse, it gets stronger. So I can't imagine how tough it'd be to quit for people who have been smoking for 40 or some what years. If I didnt't have to go back to work soon, and didnt have a **** ton of cartons of cigarettes in the house, and actually had the solid time on my hands to quit, I totally would give it another good go, but it's impossible right now for me(or so it seems). So I pretty much wasted the time I have off because now, if I try and stop smoking pot I don't have enough time to get through the **** in time to be a good and nice worker at my job. I don't want to be on the edge and come off as bad, or an ******* or something like that to them, it's still kinda new to. I do plan to stop sometime though, but for now marijuana is a lot safer than dying from coke or something like that(that is what I ment by safe). I havnt touched coke since that last time(I told you about), which was a couple weeks ago, and I don't even drink anymore. Well, barely ever anyways.. I'll have a drink the odd time if it's free or something or if it's the right time, but never like before. So I pretty much just smoke weed and cigaretes. I do enjoy getting baked though, it just seems like the one thing I can rely on right now. Today I woke up pretty sick from a head cold, so I bused to my pharmacy to get my dose and felt like total **** even after it kicked in, so I smoked a bit off pot and it helped get my mind off the cold a lot.
And to answer FT's question, I'm not on a methadone program(like a clinic), I'm prescribed it by a doctor, but still have to pick it up daily at a local pharmacy and drink in front of them. At least I don't have to deal with the BS I hear about the clinics though(in my city anyways) I'm not to sure, I've never actually been to one. And my doctor does the weaning schedule and eveyrthing, so it's controled. Right now eveyrthing's pretty good though, I don't find this 5mg drop half as bad as the last 10mg drop .. Exept when I wake up, before I get my dose I'm a little cold, especially today with the head cold as well, or whatever it is, it started in my throat last night. Anyways I'm doing really well at work to, getting a lot more used to it and doing a very good job, alot more faster to. And I'm not on the edge while doing it, like I was working during that long pot break. That's what caused me to drink after work sometimes, the shifts would just get to me in the start, and they have a bar to so if I want I can get a shot after work or a beer or something I can. It's pretty expensive though so I havn't(exept once lol). I know I got to stop smoking pot though because it's preventing me from saving up money and paying off my debts, and completely repairing what I did in the past. During that pot break I paid off 6 people(wasn't big amounts), but still, that's more than I've been able to since pay since like last summer or something, especially when I didn't have a job for so long. But now I do, and I don't want to spend my next pay cheque on pot. That's another reason why I was planning on quitting these days off, but it never happened. Oh well though, I know there will be another time that I can work on quitting. For now I'm still a very happy person. And life is WAY better than it used to be

Dee74

It's your call I guess Natey. We'll be here if you ever decide to quit everything and you want some support

A quarter in three days is pretty heavy smoking though - I was doing that - looking back with hindsight, it's really not something to be blasé about IMO.

D

newcastleuk

my weed smoking just keeps getting worse

CarolD

newcastleuk...Welcome....
What are you doing about that situation?

billsaintjames

Natey, it sounds like you've got a lot of personal, academic, financial and professional goals in life. That is awesome. Virtually every person who studies success agrees that setting goals is the first and most important thing to do in getting what you want out of life.

When I was using, it was impossible for me to become motivated. I think that is part of the reason why I used -- to put myself in a state where I would not be ambitious (read: lazy), and in effect run away from the pressures of life rather than deal with them.

This is of course the price I paid for smoking weed (aside from the physical money I paid). The cliche that weed makes you lazy rang pretty damn true for me. I've been a lot more motivated since I quit, though.

Cleanwithdreams7

Once again I have chose to quit MaryJane and get as sober as possible!!! FOREVER .. Today is day four and things aren't to bad at all. I ended up reading in a couple places(after I already relapsed last time), that it can take a FULL 30 days for heavy users to completely get rid of the withdrawals.. So this time I have more knowledge about what I'm doing and ain't gunna give up so easily.. 26 more days to go!!.. & NO MATTER WHAT I've decided to quit for good. I love the feeling of not smoking it and know how good my life was before I started that **** and it totally is a gateway drug. I even had some left the day I decided I was done with that **** to, however I gave it to a buddy a couple days in because I really had no use for it and was not taking the chance either. I can't wait to get past the 30 days! I know it's gunna be so damn awesome and this time I WILL NOT give up no matter what.. and at least I know now not to touch coke ever again either(and I haven't since that last stupid time which I led to my Marijuana relapse either and don't even want it AT ALL, that **** is DEADLY), it definetialy made the Marijuana withdrawals seem a lot worse than they were last time.. this time is gunna rock!.. One of the things that made me decide to finally stop that stupid **** again is, I noticed when I smoked(which was usually an all day everyday thing, except at work obviously), was I didn't give a **** about anything very much and have not been there for my family enough in the past as is. It was preventing me from achieving my dreams as well, it was stupid and such a waste of my time. It reminded me to much of the opiate lifestyle I used to live of not giving a ****, and I really do want to do my best and help the world as much as I can. I do now, and will always care as long as I'm not high.. I'll keep updated on how everything goes.. Yesterday seemed worse than today and that was day three so hopefully it's all better and easier from here on in and not just my imagination !! I was lucky because I had a couple days off to get over the first couple days and today I'm headin back to my job and I feel great! Peace and love people.