eaglette

This is the third thread I am posting within one hour, but I don't care. I am just going to keep writing because that's my thing, and it helps me.

Anyway, people say Addiction is a demon. I am starting to think that it literally is. Now that I have separated myself from it, I can still feel it beside me (and occasionally within me). The spiritual feeling of its presence is tangible and undeniable. And it's as if it is actually trying to get me back. There is my HP on one side and the addiction on the other, and both are spiritual forces pulling me in one direction or the other.

For instance:

The other night when I succumbed to alcohol, my BF and I went into this old barn at my friend's house where the party was beind held because I wanted to check out the chickens/roosters. Even though it was around midnight, the radio was blaring in the chicken coop. We figured that maybe chickens like listening to music, but I was freaked out by the feeling hanging in the air. The one rooster felt threatened and was about to attack us, so that didn't help. This was before I drank, but I definitely felt a presence there urging me to partake. And once I did, I felt it again, urging me to go further into it by drinking more (I did) and smoking weed (I didn't).

Today after I went to an AA meeting with my sponsor, she had to grab some papers for her son. Since she didn't know how long that would take, I sat outside in her car listening to a recovery CD. I swear that this is true: THE RADIO TURNED THE RECOVERY CD OFF, FLIPPED THROUGH A BUNCH OF STATIONS, and went to a song which was solely about drinking, partying, and taking shots. As soon as that song was over, it immediately flipped through the stations again and went to the same song that had been on in the barn the night of the party. When we turned the radio off, it turned itself back on and kept going crazy but would not allow us to listen to the CD. My sponsor was freaked out too and said the radio had never done anything like that before.

I know it could be coincidence, and it might sound crazy, but it isn't an isolated incident, and I actually feel as if addiction is its own entity and is trying really hard to get me back right now. Has anyone else had any bizarre experiences like this?

FT

Yes. There is a synchronicity to the universe that freaks me out. There are patterns everywhere if you choose to see them, and messages like the ones sent your way.

Theoretically, we live in but one of infinite parallel universes. We occupy the same space but a hair apart, and I believe things spill over from one into the next. I'm not just being weird, they are scientifically proving the existence of parallel universes.

So, don't ignore the signs. They do mean something.

CarolD

Prayers help me immensley in all situations...
They give me peace and keep me centered emotionally...

I also think some of us are more senstive to the spiritual happenings.
Perhaps a mixed blessing....

I'm not for one moment disputing or discounting your experience I've had all sorts of "God shots" in my life....and learned
to put them in my large file....:More to be revealed"

Wishing you the joy of solid recovery...

opmloser

I agree with FT about the existence of parallel universes; if only we all could find the best one in which to live.
Addiction is definitely like a voice inside of me that drives me nuts; I try to tune it out. That Voice has told me many times that I could use drugs casually and not fall on my face - I have the bruises to prove that sick theory dead-wrong.
It feels most times like THE VOICE OF REASON is not able to talk over the Demon but I don't intend on giving into the latter - not today at least!

FT

I call it the "addict brain". Eckhart Tolle calls it the "pain body". You really should read his book, "A New Earth." You can get the audiobook for free on line, and Tolle reads it outloud himself. He is not a native English speaker, German I think, and his voice is so absolutely hypnotic, I have used that book for meditation while listening to him many times.

Truly, I used to shout out about that book all the time. It fits so well with what you are all talking about.

FT

Bikerchick

I have a friend, who is a recovering heroin, crack, pill and alcohol addict. She has told me some hair curling stories about the "dark presence" that used to follow her around and I believe it happens. You may not be a religious person, but you have to understand that the only thing that fights evil, is good. You can't fight evil feelings or evil thoughts when you're in an environment that is filled with negative substances, negative influences and negative choices. You have a force within you for good. Seek out more good environments, stay away from the ones that you know are negative and you'll stop having these experiences.

Your higher power is powerful and has power over these types of experiences, but you have to choose "light" over "darkness" and continue to go in that direction. If this stuff scares you, it should. I hope you use that fear to start putting distance between yourself and the "darker" things in your life and start calling on a higher power for protection, guidance and strength.