shutterbug

i don't know how much longer i can hold on....i fear hospitalization nearing.

i am trying so hard, but for every step forward.....i get dragged 10 steps back and feels like i'm almost at the edge. I've been here before, we are old friends. The familiar gives no comfort.....but rather it terrifies.

mikefreak

If you need help. make that call................Take things slow & easy. I've been there....................

nandm

Please reach out, pick up the phone and call you local mental health center. Some things we can not do alone. You are not alone and there is help. You have been down this road before and you will survive it again and ultimately it will make you stronger in the long run. Take care.

Zencat

I hope you will do everything it takes to take good care of your mental/emotional health.

shutterbug

well....it's official...i quit my job of 1.5 years now where i've cared for a dying, 92-yr-old dementia patient. she is easy to care for and doesnt' require much....but being always in charge of making sure she is changed, fed, clean, meds given, food when she'll eat, here 3-4 visits a week whatever time hospice comes....and never being able to be gone very long.....has burned me out.

even having a couple full days off a month never feels like a break. and never knowing when she's gunna pass....or if today's gunna be a good day or bad day.....

it's wearing. i'm scared about losing the regular financial pay and free room/board.....but i am not able to properly care for her very well right now as i'm struggling to care for myself.

so.....


BIG change! no job, no financial security, no free food, no free rent/utilities, etc.....but i have made short-term arrangements with family. so...

AND it will also help me get over my ex if not in the same town any more and right across the sidewalk from one of her friends/employees!

i am broken.....but, at least i have a better outlook for recovery than most times before when i've been this broken!

so, i am trying to look to the positive and remain thankful and......try not to cry every hour of every day

NYCDoglvr

What's important is that you realize we can't do it all. You understand your limits. Most importantly, you are taking action to care for yourself.