eaglette

I am a recovering marijuana addict. I have 36 days clean. My best friend, who I hardly see, has invited me to go to a winery with her and some friends. I have always wanted to check out this particular winery but never got around to it before I went sober. I never meant to forego alcohol in its entirety. My intention was to dethrone pot from its place of power over my mind and rid myself of my addiction. I did stop using, and I don't think that going out to have a glass or two of wine with some girlfriends would harm the progress I have made. I do not want to have to start all over though and would welcome any thoughts on the matter.

Kjell

Hi Eaglette-

I'm an alcoholic, but I loved me some weed too.

I'm 18 months sober, but if I was 36 days sober and asked you if it was a good idea to go to a pot festival, what would you say?

Kjell~

aasharon90

Pot, weed, cocaine, oxy, wine, beer, daiquari's,
hurricanes, pain meds, sniffing, snorting, shotting,
drinking however, whatever it is or done is some
form of drug delivered in the bodies system and is
considered a mind altering chemical.

eaglette

So frustrating! I am so tired of having to turn things down at this point that I could scream, and I am only on day 36. I am so irritated about all of this. I don't understand why I am doing this to myself. I am feeling distant from every single person I know, and I hate it.

iliveforyou

Ahhh, for the longest time I convinced myself that my only real problem was my DOC - heroin. I switched to alcohol 18 months after kicking H. Very quickly became an alcoholic all the while I was patting myself on the back for kicking H. Started adding benzos and pills to the equation. In 09, I stopped drinking completely after getting my first DUI. That was my wake up call regarding alcohol. Then enter my addiction to pills that escalated very quickly over 2 1/2 years complicated with my debilitating chronic pain conditions. Over the past couple months, I took a real good look at why this madness continued for 11 years. Came to the conclusion that my problem wasn't drugs/alcohol - I was the problem. I didn't know how to deal with reality without drowning in substances. I spent 11 years attempting the impossible - running away from myself/my mind. All of the sick rationalizations I did in my active addiction had me believing for a long time that I was doing great because I was no longer a homeless, street junkie shooting up heroin. What a joke that was and I could kick myself for that. It was so much easier dealing with the pain of my childhood by drowning my misery with any substance I could get my hands on.

Point being, you are traveling down a sketchy road...a slippery slope if you will. Just my 2 cents here because I've been there and to throw away being clean by simply switching to another substance is not a good idea.

Good luck

-Jess

iliveforyou

I am sorry eaglette that you are in so much emotional pain *hugs*

-Jess

Kjell

Hi Eaglette-

Don't you though? Im assuming you had to quit smoking weed b/c it became a problem, right?

Remember the pain that caused?

Do you think you can pull of drinking? What will happen when you get drunk, which you eventually will. Do you think you won't want to get high? What about when you're hungover? Weed was my hangovers cure

Hey, maybe you can, we don't know, but you obviously came on here in hopes someone would say it's ok.

to they own self be true

Kjell~

FT

Part of recovery is distancing ourselves from the triggers, the temptations, the old haunts, or whatever might start us using again. I understand the winery isn't an "old haunt," but it is an avoidable temptation.

You are very early into your recovery, and there will be times later on that you can be in places that might be dangerous for you now. I know I can now go into a restaurant or even a bar, and it doesn't bother me nor am I tempted to order a drink. I quit drinking over 20 years ago, and once you learn to live without alcohol without thinking about it all the time, you come to find out that there are always lots of non-drinkers everywhere you go. No one cares if you don't have a drink. No one questions you or tries to force a drink on you if you say, "no thanks, I don't drink." Saying that becomes very natural.

Maybe it is the same with weed, or maybe not.

It may be hard to extrapolate the pot use into the environment you are considering placing yourself into (the winery). I liked Kjell's analogy of the pot festival. Made me laugh. I used to smoke pot years ago, and if my husband weren't with me, I would be very tempted to take a toke (do they still say that?).

You may be one of those lucky people who can drink casually, take pain pills occasionally, drink a few times a year. I am not one of those people. I have had it proven to myself twice over now that I am subject to other addictions after the alcohol.

Don't risk falling down when it would be so easy to say no to this event.

I, too, felt distant from everybody when I first stopped drinking. I felt deprived, felt extremely sorry for myself. Hey, I "deserved" to relax after working so hard, right? I'm not at all saying you are feeling sorry for yourself, but I sure did.

After quitting oxys, I am a little wiser on the recovery thing. I can no longer be trusted with substances. Period. This is my third recovery and I don't want to blow it this time.

You will feel more at ease with your new lifestyle after you learn to live without weed. You can learn other ways to mellow out, to relax, whatever weed did for you.

You might want to consider a recovery group with people in recovery like you are. This kind of camaraderie goes a long way. It may surprise you.

FT

fs101

Eaglette, I think the advice here is solid, and many people are speaking from their own experience.

You know what is right for you, feeling lonely and isolated in recovery is not good, but you may need to make friends who understand the road your going down. Have you talked to your friends about wanting to stay away from those things?

You need people to talk to in life, but it can be hard if those who you normally talk to want to discuss things over a beer, or a bowl. If they are good friends they won't mind doing some sober things with you. Also on that note, I do know people (and I am one of them) that have gone out in my recovery. I went to a large B-day party for many people at my work. There was alot of drinking (we went to a drinking place here in Japan called an izakaiya) yet when I said no thanks to the alcohol, it was fine. I did not drink and I had a good time. It was also a reminder when I saw how some of them acted after drinking of why I feel good not to be doing those things.

My DoC is opiates and they will for sure be my lifetime love when it comes to mind altering substances. I have never had a problem with drinking and never really liked to get drunk. However, being so early in my own recovery I do think that avoiding anything that may affect my own willpower to be a good idea. Someday I will sit and have a beer with friends, but I am not ready for that yet.

I will not spend the rest of my life lamenting my choices or being afraid of everything out there that might affect my judgement, but right now I am comfortable avoiding those things and working on the issues that brought me to this forum.

Sorry for the rambling, I hope some of what people said can help you reach a decision that is right for you.

eaglette

Thank you all...I don't mean to be so moody. I was just at a pretty low point today. Since I quit smoking I am experiencing a lot of uncomfortable emotions. I appreciate the support of everyone here to no end.

miamifella

When I told my friends about my addiction, they were very careful not to drink in front of me. It was not necessary, but I know it helped them think of themselves as more a part of my recovery. I loved them before but now I love them even more.

Most people do not care much if they drink or not. So why not explain the situation to your friend? Chances are she will have something else she'll want to do with you. Give her the opportunity to be the supportive friend.

And if not, then screw her. Anyone who is a real friend will want to help you get through this.