texasmagnum

I am so bummed, I was thinking we might get lucky, he is so changed and doing so well. But, the parole board has decided to move him to another unit, put him into a 6 month rehabilitation program, and then review his case for consideration again. So we are looking at another 8-10 months overall.

Big -- Giant -- Bummer.

I am working hard on accepting what I can't change, and believing there is a reason for it. A little bit of a tough day for me though.

glitter

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? Would he have access to a 6 month rehab if he were allowed out?

Makes your feelings of sadness no less or your day any less tough though. Hang in there. This just may be the best thing that's ever happened! I hope so!

Wishing for the best!!

JMFburns

I'm sure it is very hard, when you & he were hoping for an entirely different outcome. HP works is his time not ours . . .

8-10 months is a blip on the radar as far as life goes so . . . hopefully it will go by quickly and the next outcome will be more what you are hoping for. Big hugs coming for both you and your son.

texasmagnum

Thank you, I am trying to think optimistically too. This is perhaps more reinforcement and insurance for his sobriety and success when he gets home.

Though he seems sincere about sobriety, he is a little jaded and weary of rehabs and my understanding of the model used by Texas prisons, it is a "snitch" methodology where you are strongly coerced into ratting out your fellow rehabbers for infractions. It is a model now considered outdated as it has a mentally abusive edge to it, they try to wear you down to 'humble' you I suppose.

That part is worrisome to me, because he has done very well minding his own business in prison and has avoided trouble. This particular agenda is going to be way more challenging for him, it goes against some of his core principals.

Having said that, no sense in me inventing trouble before it gets here. He may find it to be a great experience, have a great counselor, who knows? I am hopeful in spirit.

8 months IS a blip, you are right. A LONG blip when you are 23, but a blip none the less.
Thanks for your thoughtful replies.

Impurrfect

(((TM))) - I'm sorry his parole was defined, but I think the rehab thing is a good thing...think of those months as giving him an opportunity to gain more recovery tools to use on "the outside". We were posting at the same time. Though I don't like the sounds of the rehab in prison (from what you wrote), it can give him a chance to face adversity and deal with it. In real life, we can't always "keep to ourselves", there are going to be people and situations that "push our buttons" but learning how to deal with it and NOT pick up is pretty valuable.

I know it doesn't make the hurt go away, but I've truly found that HP's plans turn out way better than any of mine, even when I didn't like it at the time.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

texasmagnum

PS - when I say "infractions" I am not talking about smoking crack in the restroom or beating the snot out of somebody, I am talking about not making your bed correctly or sneaking a sandwich into your cell at night. It appears it is a REAL nit-picky setup.

Dee74

I know it must be disappointing but I hope the time will pass quickly for your son...and like others here, I think he may even get some value out of it with the rehab programme.

Best wishes to you both

D

Impurrfect

(((TM))) - I wasn't in prison, only a diversion center, but we had the same rules..bed had to be made perfect, NO food in our rooms, had a ton of "chores" we had to do, actually had to get a job and pay RENT to do all this. At the time, I hated it. Now it's a good reminder of why I never want to go back to that life. I WAS lucky I had a job to go to, but it was still hard. I was in a room with 6 girls, I'm a light sleeper and as we were coming in from work at all hours, I just didn't sleep. Not allowed to go to sleep until 10pm, wakeup call at 4:30.

BTW, going into this environment, having come from the streets, was quite an adjustment, but I needed it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

texasmagnum

One OTHER thing I am fretting about, he says in prison where he is at, you have to fight every little while over every stupid thing. Like, if you don't you will get severely stomped. So they DO, I understand this. But apparently at the new place, it's 0% tolerance for that or you get shipped off somewhere ELSE as a troublemaker. So he isn't a fighting kind of guy normally but NOW out of necessity, he is in that mindset, and he is going to have to gear it way back in this new environment. Not that it's bad, he certainly would in the "free world" too, it's not like he can get out and go around punching people for looking at him the wrong way, but it just seems that he will have to do an abrupt attitude adjustment for this NEW confinement situation.

AGAIN, I do agree with you all, that overall, rehab can be a REALLY good thing for him and may reinforce all the more why he needs to stay clean and sober. He has been to rehab 4 times, for a total of 9 months, so it's not like he is new to the concept, but still... each place has a slightly different twist and there may just be that awesome counselor at wherever he goes that REALLY makes a difference for him.

And, plus, now for the first time, I do believe he is COMMITTED to not using. He finally got his mind around it, whereas before I always felt he had left his big toe in the pool, so to speak.

I guess things will work out as they should, they always do....

tbeit

Sounds like baby steps to me. It's all a learning experience. I have been reading his blog and following his progress. I have faith that he is on his journey of recovery and 6 months of rehab can only help.
He may have been in rehab before but it's all about his commitment. I pray he dives in head first. Good luck to both of you




P.S. Have you tried alanon could be helpful

WritingFromLife

I am so sorry you are going through this. When my son was in jail for just a month, it ripped my heart out daily, not knowing what might be happening. It's such a natural instinct to want to protect, and prison or jail is never where we would expect our children to end up when they are little ones--in my case, that little boy is all I see. It does sound like there may be a positive side to it for yours--I know that doesn't help much because you are physically detached from the situation...Hang in there and keep up your direction of all things work together as they should, for good. I believe that deeply.

WritingFromLife

And I echo tbeit--Alanon has worked wonders for me. Just hearing others go through it brings me peace that I am not alone.

Justfor1

I am sorry that he wasn't released. That probably would have been much better than 9 more months of "prison rehab." Hopefully if he completes it he will be awarded his freedom.

Tryin2Recover

Sorry to hear about your son, I have been following his blog from the start. Sometimes we dont see the reason things dont go the way we expect them to right away, perhaps more will be revealed to you or him later that this was exactly what he needed. Hang in there, his (and your) day will come.

texasmagnum

Thank you everybody. This forum is always so supportive, I appreciate that so much. I think that overall, it's a good thing, and it's part of his journey.

I also want to say I so appreciate anyone who takes the time to follow his blog. Writing out his thoughts has done a LOT of good for him, and I have to tell you, it's been really gratifying for him when I send him comments from all over the place in response to his posts.

(I did try al-anon with not good results, I think our local chapter might have been a bad fit for me. I might try elsewhere...)