why do I smoke
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
why do I smoke
I have no idea why I like to smoke green stuff.
I don't really have fun, I'm confused, I get paranoid, I can not function normally for 2 hours. I can't tell any stories, or even hold a conversation. I leave my phone at home uncase there is a emergency . If there is an emergency I couldn't even function well enough to call 911. I don't feel any better afterwords. I may think deep thoughts but I think deeply when I'm straight. I can never smoke enough, I am never satisfied.
Forget any type of make adding subtracting.
The last couple of times it has motivated me to clean and that was nice. I just need to know why I think I need to use. Why do I still like to use? Why does it make me feel like a whole person and spiritual person? Why is it, I think if you do not smoke you do not know your self well enough and you don't do soul searching.
I get lost in the exact same thoughts when I'm not smoking. I tend to hyper focus no matter what.
I am a scatter brain whither I smoke or not.
Why do I smoke?
I don't really have fun, I'm confused, I get paranoid, I can not function normally for 2 hours. I can't tell any stories, or even hold a conversation. I leave my phone at home uncase there is a emergency . If there is an emergency I couldn't even function well enough to call 911. I don't feel any better afterwords. I may think deep thoughts but I think deeply when I'm straight. I can never smoke enough, I am never satisfied.
Forget any type of make adding subtracting.
The last couple of times it has motivated me to clean and that was nice. I just need to know why I think I need to use. Why do I still like to use? Why does it make me feel like a whole person and spiritual person? Why is it, I think if you do not smoke you do not know your self well enough and you don't do soul searching.
I get lost in the exact same thoughts when I'm not smoking. I tend to hyper focus no matter what.
I am a scatter brain whither I smoke or not.
Why do I smoke?
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Maybe you use it so you will have an excuse for not functioning normally for two hours. That is, you are removing yourself from the equation, so you don't have to be responsible for anything for that period of time.
Maybe I didn't understand the question or the reason you are asking it here. Most of us are here seeking recovery from substances, not seeking new reasons as to why we want to use them. I think we already know the answers to that question. Now we seek the road back.
Maybe I didn't understand the question or the reason you are asking it here. Most of us are here seeking recovery from substances, not seeking new reasons as to why we want to use them. I think we already know the answers to that question. Now we seek the road back.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Why do I smoke? Well because I'm a responsible grown
woman who has been sober since 8-11-90. That is 20
yrs of continuous sobriety living happy joyous and free.
Curiosity was my first attempt. Right before I got sober
I had the urge to try it again while drinking and going to
a local club. I hid that from my kids. I then stopped because
recovery was more important. Now Im 52 yrs. old, living a
happy joyous life in recovery, remarried, tattoos, piercings,
a Lady Rider with my own endorsement. I dont have to answer
to know one else except my Higher Power and myself.
Smoking has nothing to do with my sobriety. Life is good
when Im sober, honest and responsible for my own actions.
woman who has been sober since 8-11-90. That is 20
yrs of continuous sobriety living happy joyous and free.
Curiosity was my first attempt. Right before I got sober
I had the urge to try it again while drinking and going to
a local club. I hid that from my kids. I then stopped because
recovery was more important. Now Im 52 yrs. old, living a
happy joyous life in recovery, remarried, tattoos, piercings,
a Lady Rider with my own endorsement. I dont have to answer
to know one else except my Higher Power and myself.
Smoking has nothing to do with my sobriety. Life is good
when Im sober, honest and responsible for my own actions.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
Failtaper,, you make the comment
"not seeking new reasons as to why we want to use them. I think we already know the answers to that question"
And the point to this post is to help me find out why I use, because I am not sure why I use, and if I had that knowledge I would have more ammo against my illogical thoughts
I used to drink a whole lot and I liked it. But I knew why I drank, and I knew the problems it was causing and I know my life was unmanageable because of it. Basically I knew what was going on, once I had the knowledge I was able to quit. Drinking sometimes scare's me because when I get stressed, drinking allows me lifts a load off of me. That first drink releases the load of bricks from my chest. I haven't drank in over 6 months. I think I am safe for now. Right now I quit mainly for my child, because I want him to have a father and I could not be a good father. The longest I ever went was one year. After that year I couldn't hold back. This time I am doing great and I have no idea why I am. Drinking is most definitely my drug of choice. In the past 3 or 4 months was my limit and I could not take the stress of life. I moved out once just so I could drink. I literally sat at the bar all day. I don't drink with others so I say alone and watched the Olympics. A few months after that I started to drink but I could see the damage that it was doing to my family and my higher power or something is helping me not drink.
With p0t I'm conflicted, I am not sure why I smoke. I want to quit and I know it's only a matter of time, I just have to know why I smoke. I need that knowledge because that's my ammo when I feel like using. If I can't come up with a reason not to use then nothing is stopping me from using. Every time but this time when I quit drinking I was totally sober, but this time I am not.. I don't know why this time is different.
Logically I can convince myself that I could feel the same when I am straight as when I smoke when But in my heart or someplace I don't buy that. This whole post comes down to my soul searching and asking for help. The help I am asking for is why people used to smoke. The people that would most help are the people that p0t is their drug of choice. For me the reason I drink or only smoke are for 2 different reasons. Smoke is more of a soul searching and drinking is much more of a stress reliever.
"not seeking new reasons as to why we want to use them. I think we already know the answers to that question"
And the point to this post is to help me find out why I use, because I am not sure why I use, and if I had that knowledge I would have more ammo against my illogical thoughts
I used to drink a whole lot and I liked it. But I knew why I drank, and I knew the problems it was causing and I know my life was unmanageable because of it. Basically I knew what was going on, once I had the knowledge I was able to quit. Drinking sometimes scare's me because when I get stressed, drinking allows me lifts a load off of me. That first drink releases the load of bricks from my chest. I haven't drank in over 6 months. I think I am safe for now. Right now I quit mainly for my child, because I want him to have a father and I could not be a good father. The longest I ever went was one year. After that year I couldn't hold back. This time I am doing great and I have no idea why I am. Drinking is most definitely my drug of choice. In the past 3 or 4 months was my limit and I could not take the stress of life. I moved out once just so I could drink. I literally sat at the bar all day. I don't drink with others so I say alone and watched the Olympics. A few months after that I started to drink but I could see the damage that it was doing to my family and my higher power or something is helping me not drink.
With p0t I'm conflicted, I am not sure why I smoke. I want to quit and I know it's only a matter of time, I just have to know why I smoke. I need that knowledge because that's my ammo when I feel like using. If I can't come up with a reason not to use then nothing is stopping me from using. Every time but this time when I quit drinking I was totally sober, but this time I am not.. I don't know why this time is different.
Logically I can convince myself that I could feel the same when I am straight as when I smoke when But in my heart or someplace I don't buy that. This whole post comes down to my soul searching and asking for help. The help I am asking for is why people used to smoke. The people that would most help are the people that p0t is their drug of choice. For me the reason I drink or only smoke are for 2 different reasons. Smoke is more of a soul searching and drinking is much more of a stress reliever.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Okay.
Well, I talk a lot here about the "addict brain." I guess the best way to understand that part of us is that it is like a motion detector switch that makes a light come on when you walk into a room, without having to hit a switch. The "addict brain" is a twisted sort of "auto pilot" that works without our premeditation. But with addictive substances, we have to move our bodies to reach for that drink, or pipe, or pill, or syringe. The "battery low" light comes on, and we react. Only our "battery low" light is busted, and comes on when we don't "need" what we think we do -- booze, pot, drugs.... The "addict brain" is especially nasty, because we don't just get a light -- we get bells, alarms, annoying sh!t that "forces" us to DO SOMETHING. So we use.
Well, everything I just said is a load of crap, of course, because you may not relate to any of that at all. But imaging the "addict brain" helps me a lot. I recognize that the stupid urges and desires surrounding ANY mood altering substances are all false alarms that I can choose to shut off, or at least ignore long enough to distract me into doing something else.
I used to drink over 20 years ago, which was a different addiction of >15 years that I had to force off my back. I applaud you on your 6 months, but watch out because the pot is fooling you. Alcohol stimulates the same dopamine receptor sites that other mind altering substances do. You smoke pot because your "addict brain" switch says to fill them up with something, and pot will do for now. It took me probably 3 years before I "felt safe" with alcohol, and even then I knew I could not ever touch another drop without risking relapse into daily drinking. I am 4 months clean from opiates now, and I do realize now that my alcohol use way back when was related to my "ease" of slipping back into addictive behavior with the opiates.
It's simpler than you are making this problem out to be. Your pleasure centers are not being stimulated, and you are rationalizing yourself into believing the pot is not a relapse, even though you are referring to it that way. If you need a logical reason not to smoke, here you have it.
I can say more, but I always talk took much.
FT
Well, I talk a lot here about the "addict brain." I guess the best way to understand that part of us is that it is like a motion detector switch that makes a light come on when you walk into a room, without having to hit a switch. The "addict brain" is a twisted sort of "auto pilot" that works without our premeditation. But with addictive substances, we have to move our bodies to reach for that drink, or pipe, or pill, or syringe. The "battery low" light comes on, and we react. Only our "battery low" light is busted, and comes on when we don't "need" what we think we do -- booze, pot, drugs.... The "addict brain" is especially nasty, because we don't just get a light -- we get bells, alarms, annoying sh!t that "forces" us to DO SOMETHING. So we use.
Well, everything I just said is a load of crap, of course, because you may not relate to any of that at all. But imaging the "addict brain" helps me a lot. I recognize that the stupid urges and desires surrounding ANY mood altering substances are all false alarms that I can choose to shut off, or at least ignore long enough to distract me into doing something else.
I used to drink over 20 years ago, which was a different addiction of >15 years that I had to force off my back. I applaud you on your 6 months, but watch out because the pot is fooling you. Alcohol stimulates the same dopamine receptor sites that other mind altering substances do. You smoke pot because your "addict brain" switch says to fill them up with something, and pot will do for now. It took me probably 3 years before I "felt safe" with alcohol, and even then I knew I could not ever touch another drop without risking relapse into daily drinking. I am 4 months clean from opiates now, and I do realize now that my alcohol use way back when was related to my "ease" of slipping back into addictive behavior with the opiates.
It's simpler than you are making this problem out to be. Your pleasure centers are not being stimulated, and you are rationalizing yourself into believing the pot is not a relapse, even though you are referring to it that way. If you need a logical reason not to smoke, here you have it.
I can say more, but I always talk took much.
FT
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Kicking the Ox thread
Hey CoffeeClub:
I thought your question was a really good one that I can't answer.
So I posted it on the Kicking the Ox thread.
You might want to keep checking that thread out for some feedback.
FT
I thought your question was a really good one that I can't answer.
So I posted it on the Kicking the Ox thread.
You might want to keep checking that thread out for some feedback.
FT
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 20
Not sure why you smoke... I know I have tons of reasons for why I still smoke and tons of reasons for why I should stop. The last few weeks I've felt torn. I depend on it to "help me deal" with my problems. But the truth is, I'm not dealing with anything- I do not deal with anything. I don't make the important phone calls, organize my life, or take care of my health... I'm avoiding responsibility and as time goes on, reality doesn't change... and the same thing happens day after day, and I've tried to just accept and embrace myself but this is insane...
I hope you can find your way out of it. The confusion from the high does feel very spiritual and I can relate to that. No other drug does for me what weed does. It's comforting and has no serious immediate side-effects the way other substances do. But the spirituality became self-absorption to the point of paralyzing me in my isolation now. I hate this.
I hope you can find your way out of it. The confusion from the high does feel very spiritual and I can relate to that. No other drug does for me what weed does. It's comforting and has no serious immediate side-effects the way other substances do. But the spirituality became self-absorption to the point of paralyzing me in my isolation now. I hate this.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by failedtaper 
Maybe you use it so you will have an excuse for not functioning normally for two hours. That is, you are removing yourself from the equation, so you don't have to be responsible for anything for that period of time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Ahhhhh....
Originally Posted by caramia
Not sure why you smoke... I know I have tons of reasons for why I still smoke and tons of reasons for why I should stop. The last few weeks I've felt torn. I depend on it to "help me deal" with my problems. But the truth is, I'm not dealing with anything- I do not deal with anything. I don't make the important phone calls, organize my life, or take care of my health... I'm avoiding responsibility and as time goes on, reality doesn't change... and the same thing happens day after day, and I've tried to just accept and embrace myself but this is insane...
I hope you can find your way out of it. The confusion from the high does feel very spiritual and I can relate to that. No other drug does for me what weed does. It's comforting and has no serious immediate side-effects the way other substances do. But the spirituality became self-absorption to the point of paralyzing me in my isolation now. I hate this.
I hope you can find your way out of it. The confusion from the high does feel very spiritual and I can relate to that. No other drug does for me what weed does. It's comforting and has no serious immediate side-effects the way other substances do. But the spirituality became self-absorption to the point of paralyzing me in my isolation now. I hate this.
Thank you for explaining this in that way. Seriously. Someone very close to me was stoned literally for 15 years. It took him years to finally stop, last year, with the aid of a Chinese medicine specialist and spiritual healer.
This explains perfectly what he was trying to tell me before he quit. He's now about 7 or 8 months clean and really feeling good. The is the first time he has succeeded in stopping the weed. Now he needs to stop drinking, but he doesn't drink every day. Still a worry, though.
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Hi coffeeclub, weed was definitely my drug of choice as well.
Alcohol did a lot of damage in my life. Its effects were very obvious, very clear and easy to see. That is one of the reasons why I have had no problem finding motivation to stay sober from it.
Weed, exclusively, did no obvious, clear and easy to see damage to my life. Its destruction was very subtle. Even the economic toll it took on my life was very subtle. I would congratulate myself for finding ways to cut costs in researching more cost-efficient ways to smoke, all the while not thinking I could cut ALL the costs by quitting smoking.
But what was I gaining from smoking? I told myself that it helped with my anxiety, but in reality that is a horribly unhealthy way to solve that problem. I told myself that it lead to relationships, but it goes without saying that any relationship built on a drug is a ticking time bomb. I told myself that it made the world more exciting and interesting, but that mode of thinking lead me to having to be higher and higher more and more frequently.
Personally, I found it very hard to be scared by the physical health risks of smoking weed. I had to dig deep inside myself and look at the emotional and psychological effects it was having on me. I still have to remind myself why I need to stay away, and pay attention to any attempts I am making to trick myself into thinking it's OK to smoke.
Today I'm 112 days sober. I don't allow myself to be around pot smokers...just not ready for that, don't know if I ever will be, at least in a very intimate setting. I wish you the best of luck my friend, I am right there next to you in my struggle. This is a deceptively cunning and difficult drug to kick, but it is worth it.
Alcohol did a lot of damage in my life. Its effects were very obvious, very clear and easy to see. That is one of the reasons why I have had no problem finding motivation to stay sober from it.
Weed, exclusively, did no obvious, clear and easy to see damage to my life. Its destruction was very subtle. Even the economic toll it took on my life was very subtle. I would congratulate myself for finding ways to cut costs in researching more cost-efficient ways to smoke, all the while not thinking I could cut ALL the costs by quitting smoking.
But what was I gaining from smoking? I told myself that it helped with my anxiety, but in reality that is a horribly unhealthy way to solve that problem. I told myself that it lead to relationships, but it goes without saying that any relationship built on a drug is a ticking time bomb. I told myself that it made the world more exciting and interesting, but that mode of thinking lead me to having to be higher and higher more and more frequently.
Personally, I found it very hard to be scared by the physical health risks of smoking weed. I had to dig deep inside myself and look at the emotional and psychological effects it was having on me. I still have to remind myself why I need to stay away, and pay attention to any attempts I am making to trick myself into thinking it's OK to smoke.
Today I'm 112 days sober. I don't allow myself to be around pot smokers...just not ready for that, don't know if I ever will be, at least in a very intimate setting. I wish you the best of luck my friend, I am right there next to you in my struggle. This is a deceptively cunning and difficult drug to kick, but it is worth it.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 241
Hi CoffeeClub,
I don't know why you smoke. When I was still smoking I didn't know why I was doing it either. My body/brain/chemistry (whatever), wanted to smoke. I was addicted. Couldn't stop. No matter how much I rationalized it, thought about it, planned to free myself from this addiction. Then, I had to give up, surrender, accept that it was really negatively affecting my brain/thoughts/perception (paranoia, not getting much done, numbness, fear....)
Regarding the deep thoughts - I don't know about yours, but looking back mine weren't that deep, although at the time I thought I was such a philosopher. I used to think that the reason I lost track of my thoughts was that they were so complex. lol.
actually, maybe you do know what I am talking about:
I get lost in the exact same thoughts when I'm not smoking. I tend to hyper focus no matter what.
I am a scatter brain whither I smoke or not.
I don't know much about your drinking and smoking. I quit smoking years ago - and then I started drinking more heavily. I have since learnt that it's called crossaddictin. It then dawned on me that I was heading in the same direction with drinking as I had gone smoking - so I decided to sober up. Maybe you're doing the same.
Trust me, my brain is a MUCH MUCH better place since I quit the green stuff.
Vee
I don't know why you smoke. When I was still smoking I didn't know why I was doing it either. My body/brain/chemistry (whatever), wanted to smoke. I was addicted. Couldn't stop. No matter how much I rationalized it, thought about it, planned to free myself from this addiction. Then, I had to give up, surrender, accept that it was really negatively affecting my brain/thoughts/perception (paranoia, not getting much done, numbness, fear....)
Regarding the deep thoughts - I don't know about yours, but looking back mine weren't that deep, although at the time I thought I was such a philosopher. I used to think that the reason I lost track of my thoughts was that they were so complex. lol.
actually, maybe you do know what I am talking about:
I get lost in the exact same thoughts when I'm not smoking. I tend to hyper focus no matter what.
I am a scatter brain whither I smoke or not.
I don't know much about your drinking and smoking. I quit smoking years ago - and then I started drinking more heavily. I have since learnt that it's called crossaddictin. It then dawned on me that I was heading in the same direction with drinking as I had gone smoking - so I decided to sober up. Maybe you're doing the same.
Trust me, my brain is a MUCH MUCH better place since I quit the green stuff.
Vee
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
I hope people keep posting
Thank you everyone for your responses. It really helps when others share their reasons for smoking. Everyone is different and everyone smokes for different reasons.
a lot of the things said touched on something that make me go hmmm lol
some wrote,
"I used to think that the reason I lost track of my thoughts was that they were so complex"
Some else wrote
"made the world more exciting and interesting"
The thing I would change is ""made ME more exciting and interesting"
I also find myself more interesting and I do not know why.
someone here totally missed understood, this is not about smoking cigarettes. lol
Another person wrote about giving up their friends. That's a tough one.
Like I said I have given up before, but I have on really good friend who will accept me if I don't smoke but it's very obvious he would rather me smoke. In the past I have given up and still hung around with the guy. Please understand he has been a friend since childhood, so I am not going to give up on our friendship and I think he'd like hanging out with me no matter what but he'd rather I smoke.
failedtaper thank you for taking the time to re-read my post. That was very cool. The funny part is you said this was interesting and I was not even smoking when I wrote this :-)
Someone talked about cross addiction
"Alcohol did a lot of damage in my life. Its effects were very obvious, very clear and easy to see. That is one of the reasons why I have had no problem finding motivation to stay sober from it. " and then they said "Weed, exclusively, did no obvious, clear and easy to see damage to my life. Its destruction was very subtle"
This is exactly how I feel
I'll be honest, there is only one time that I have ever went this long without drinking, so I am very worried that I can handle not drinking because of this cross addiction.
Thank you everyone for your responses. It really helps when others share their reasons for smoking. Everyone is different and everyone smokes for different reasons.
a lot of the things said touched on something that make me go hmmm lol
some wrote,
"I used to think that the reason I lost track of my thoughts was that they were so complex"
Some else wrote
"made the world more exciting and interesting"
The thing I would change is ""made ME more exciting and interesting"
I also find myself more interesting and I do not know why.
someone here totally missed understood, this is not about smoking cigarettes. lol
Another person wrote about giving up their friends. That's a tough one.
Like I said I have given up before, but I have on really good friend who will accept me if I don't smoke but it's very obvious he would rather me smoke. In the past I have given up and still hung around with the guy. Please understand he has been a friend since childhood, so I am not going to give up on our friendship and I think he'd like hanging out with me no matter what but he'd rather I smoke.
failedtaper thank you for taking the time to re-read my post. That was very cool. The funny part is you said this was interesting and I was not even smoking when I wrote this :-)
Someone talked about cross addiction
"Alcohol did a lot of damage in my life. Its effects were very obvious, very clear and easy to see. That is one of the reasons why I have had no problem finding motivation to stay sober from it. " and then they said "Weed, exclusively, did no obvious, clear and easy to see damage to my life. Its destruction was very subtle"
This is exactly how I feel
I'll be honest, there is only one time that I have ever went this long without drinking, so I am very worried that I can handle not drinking because of this cross addiction.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
I came here to talk about weed. Normally I post about alcohol-related things but dammit I have really been wanting to smoke weed lately.
I used to smoke A LOT in my late teens and early 20's. It cost me quite a few opportunities. Then when my first kid was born I quit for a lot of years out of paranoia, and took it up again in my late 30's because I hoped it would help me quit drinking so much (lol).
Here in Seattle it's so easy to get, they deliver, the quality is amazing and because it's so strong, a quarter lasts me 4 months. And I don't hate it like I now hate alcohol. I just hate feeling like an idiot the next day and I don't like how it can be a trigger for me to drink.
The worst thing is that last night I had a dream, and it was a long-ass dream, where I was smoking and smoking lots of great pot in a really cool and relaxing setting and in the dream I felt high. Ever felt high in a dream? And this high had none of the bad ****, no paranoia, no uber-stupidity, no loss of vocabulary, no zoning out, just nice relaxation.
I guess I'm writing this down because I can't really tell anyone else, and because I have some weed in the house now and while I don't think I want to smoke it, I am missing pot bigtime right now.
Nevermind, I'm not going to smoke. I have stuff to do, responsibilities. But it was good to get that off my chest.
I used to smoke A LOT in my late teens and early 20's. It cost me quite a few opportunities. Then when my first kid was born I quit for a lot of years out of paranoia, and took it up again in my late 30's because I hoped it would help me quit drinking so much (lol).
Here in Seattle it's so easy to get, they deliver, the quality is amazing and because it's so strong, a quarter lasts me 4 months. And I don't hate it like I now hate alcohol. I just hate feeling like an idiot the next day and I don't like how it can be a trigger for me to drink.
The worst thing is that last night I had a dream, and it was a long-ass dream, where I was smoking and smoking lots of great pot in a really cool and relaxing setting and in the dream I felt high. Ever felt high in a dream? And this high had none of the bad ****, no paranoia, no uber-stupidity, no loss of vocabulary, no zoning out, just nice relaxation.
I guess I'm writing this down because I can't really tell anyone else, and because I have some weed in the house now and while I don't think I want to smoke it, I am missing pot bigtime right now.
Nevermind, I'm not going to smoke. I have stuff to do, responsibilities. But it was good to get that off my chest.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi Reset:
Your post reminded me of something. I don't usually post on weed threads like I did on this one, but it struck a chord with me. The "new weed" is nothing like the weed we had in the 60's. I grew my own in the 70's. I loved the mild high I got from it, but even with mild weed, the only way I could stop from feeling paranoid was to drink along with it. Little did I know that doing that would turn me into a 15+ year alcoholic (yeah I know, you always are one after that - ha!).
So, my way around was backwards to coffeeclub, or maybe not. Smoking weed was my downfall into into alcohol drinking, which I stopped over 20 years ago. Ha! Talk about your "gateway" drug?
Just some thoughts.
Your post reminded me of something. I don't usually post on weed threads like I did on this one, but it struck a chord with me. The "new weed" is nothing like the weed we had in the 60's. I grew my own in the 70's. I loved the mild high I got from it, but even with mild weed, the only way I could stop from feeling paranoid was to drink along with it. Little did I know that doing that would turn me into a 15+ year alcoholic (yeah I know, you always are one after that - ha!).
So, my way around was backwards to coffeeclub, or maybe not. Smoking weed was my downfall into into alcohol drinking, which I stopped over 20 years ago. Ha! Talk about your "gateway" drug?
Just some thoughts.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 617
Ah, the evil weed! It meant more to me than ANYTHING. I was a full-fledged Alcoholic pothead for 33+ years. About eight years ago my best friend died of a OD. She was like my sister, & I finally realized that ALL drugs were not anything to not take seriously or laugh about anymore.I began to enjoy it less & less as time went by.
It got to the point that around 2/3 of the time I didn't even get a "happy" high anymore, something that attracted to marijuana in the first place. It gradually was replaced by INTENSE paranoia & MORBID introspection. I quit buying it in '06, smoked it 3-4 times in '07, and quit it completely ( along with drinking), the latter part of '08. It just wasn't working for me anymore.
Maybe YOU can smoke it. Me? I had to come to the conclusion that I was a all-or-nothing personality. I can't have one joint or one beer or one shot. I have to forsake it ALL.
One other thing: stoners are annoying AS HELL to me now.(!)
It got to the point that around 2/3 of the time I didn't even get a "happy" high anymore, something that attracted to marijuana in the first place. It gradually was replaced by INTENSE paranoia & MORBID introspection. I quit buying it in '06, smoked it 3-4 times in '07, and quit it completely ( along with drinking), the latter part of '08. It just wasn't working for me anymore.
Maybe YOU can smoke it. Me? I had to come to the conclusion that I was a all-or-nothing personality. I can't have one joint or one beer or one shot. I have to forsake it ALL.
One other thing: stoners are annoying AS HELL to me now.(!)
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 245
I have the nagging compulsion to clarify that I am 116 days sober from weed (and all other drugs other than alcohol), and 93 days sober from alcohol. My OCD-ness makes me feel like I need to make clear any possible discrepancies in sobriety dates, although I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who would have ever noticed anyway!
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