souljerzoflight

ok, well i posted in the noob section also. Anyways im home after a night out on the town. Not really just stuck in some nasty hotel smoking all my money away while my wife and kids sit at home wondering where dady is and how they are going to eat that night. what do i do now? thats always the million dollar question for me. should i stay or should i go. dont want to get high anymore but i know that there is prolly a pretty darn good chance that in about 6-9 months i will. Like to drink though. love to come home on friday and just start throwing em back with my neighbors. wife started smoking pot again after 5 years but i dont like that cause it slows me down too much. makes me antisocial. Eat loritabs once in a while when i can get my hands on em. just because i lost half my leg in a motorcycle accident though. My knee kills me sometimes. they are not a problem though because i only eat them in the winter when its cold.......tired of my bs yet. this is how i think. oh yeah, wife and i just went out of state to a great techno club and ate 9 hits of X a piece. Realized we shouldnt do that anymore. Besides all that my sobriety is GREAT!

souljerzoflight

crazy even reading my own post.

CarolD

Welcome to SR....

Have you considered a structured program about your useing
drugs and alcohol? And or treatment center?

tbeit

Dude you go from one extreme to another on one hand your feeling bad about being a crackhead then excusing the lortab use. Your kids need a dad who is present. I hear a lot of me me me me and my wife. You could use the money your spending on drugs to do something cool with your kids. You sound like a good guy on the fence and I'm trying to push you on the side of recovery. Good luck keep coming back

FT

Hi there.

There is nothing you can do about your wife's behavior, but there is everything you can do about your own.

You have kids. Sounds like you love them. You must have come here for some reason. Maybe it was to get somebody to kick your butt into stopping using?

You don't say how old your kids are, but they start learning coping behaviors from you and your wife at a VERY young age. You can't hide this sh!t from kids. They learn addictive behavior without even knowing what substances their parents are using.

The first thing you can do is show your wife how to stop using by doing it yourself. Show her the door. No, I don't mean to kick her out. Show her the way to stop this madness. My guess is she will follow.

FT

souljerzoflight

trying to be honest about the way i really think. you are right lots of me me me. i am very selfish. went to AA for a good while before i started school then used being to busy as an exscuse to stop. Right when i was starting my step work too. you know it is easy to be honest in here because i dont really know you guys but to my friends i am a different person. like i have a image to uphold. i hate it. i dont think eating tabs is ok anymore. i dont think drinking is ok anymore and i do love my family very much. I want the best for them, and it kills me that i cant provide it for them consistently.