New here....stopped percocet on Tuesday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 8
New here....stopped percocet on Tuesday
Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd introduce myself and tell the ol story. I've been off and on percocet for 5+ years, have realized over the last 2 years (actually more, but it ramped up severely these last 2) that I have been in an incredibly verbally abusive relationship and am separated, and have two beautiful children.
It is amazing to me that I did not realize how much I had lost.....
I have gone through most of the major withdrawals and am trying to do one minute at a time. I'm uncomfortable,no doubt, but what I have also found is that I am seeing some of my old fun, irreverent self that was gone for so long....the part of me that made me ME. Hopeful.
Towards the end (and please God, let this be the end), I was taking 25-30 10/325 mg pills a day. WTF! And I still wasn't as high as I wanted to be! What a death wish.....just one of many I have had.
Wish me luck. Send me prayers. I take any kind of help.... and I wish all of the other men and women on this same journey good luck and godspeed...and I mean really, speed this up!
Laurie
Just thought I'd introduce myself and tell the ol story. I've been off and on percocet for 5+ years, have realized over the last 2 years (actually more, but it ramped up severely these last 2) that I have been in an incredibly verbally abusive relationship and am separated, and have two beautiful children.
It is amazing to me that I did not realize how much I had lost.....
I have gone through most of the major withdrawals and am trying to do one minute at a time. I'm uncomfortable,no doubt, but what I have also found is that I am seeing some of my old fun, irreverent self that was gone for so long....the part of me that made me ME. Hopeful.
Towards the end (and please God, let this be the end), I was taking 25-30 10/325 mg pills a day. WTF! And I still wasn't as high as I wanted to be! What a death wish.....just one of many I have had.
Wish me luck. Send me prayers. I take any kind of help.... and I wish all of the other men and women on this same journey good luck and godspeed...and I mean really, speed this up!
Laurie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
LaurieC:
Sending prayers your way. I am a fellow opiate addict who use most any opiate available off and on for years - now with 4 months clean. The first weeks are the roughest, but it does get better. You will find much support here on SR. Many of us are out here that have walked in your shoes and feel free to share with us.
Once the fog lifts and you do find your old self again, you will begin to find joy in the clarity. Laughter returned to me - I did not really notice how little I had laughed these past few years and now the strangest things make me laugh until my belly hurts - and I am 57 years old!
I still, every now and then, get a trigger to want to use, but if I come here and read and post, it passes and I am another minute and another day clean.
Keep posting!
Sending prayers your way. I am a fellow opiate addict who use most any opiate available off and on for years - now with 4 months clean. The first weeks are the roughest, but it does get better. You will find much support here on SR. Many of us are out here that have walked in your shoes and feel free to share with us.
Once the fog lifts and you do find your old self again, you will begin to find joy in the clarity. Laughter returned to me - I did not really notice how little I had laughed these past few years and now the strangest things make me laugh until my belly hurts - and I am 57 years old!
I still, every now and then, get a trigger to want to use, but if I come here and read and post, it passes and I am another minute and another day clean.
Keep posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 8
Thank you!
Thanks all for your prayers. I am finding it incredibly difficult. There are so many triggers in my life right now but I am trudging along.
I don't have too much time to post right now--the kids, iCarly, easter baskets--but DAMN, I am either ******** or crying my eyes out. How long will this last?? I feel so vulnerable.
I will not relapse. It took way too much effort and pain to get to this point. But how much more pain? Oy.
Laurie
I don't have too much time to post right now--the kids, iCarly, easter baskets--but DAMN, I am either ******** or crying my eyes out. How long will this last?? I feel so vulnerable.
I will not relapse. It took way too much effort and pain to get to this point. But how much more pain? Oy.
Laurie
Servant of God
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
Hey LaurieC, I'm in the same boat with you. Personally, I'm tapering.
I would say good luck but luck is not involved. You have either decided that you are done or you are playing games. I really think that if you are convinced that you are done then it's not very hard. I don't want to give any medical advice but you may want to google "Thomas Recipe" and read it. There may be some elements to it that you find useful.
I have 3 boys myself and am in a rough relationship with my wife. Put self preservation as you foremost concern for now. While you may not be popular for doing so, everyone will benefit from it in the long run.
If you are anything like me, your brain will tirelessly hunt for any reason it can find to convince you that it is OK to use again. Be aware of that and hold your course.
I would say good luck but luck is not involved. You have either decided that you are done or you are playing games. I really think that if you are convinced that you are done then it's not very hard. I don't want to give any medical advice but you may want to google "Thomas Recipe" and read it. There may be some elements to it that you find useful.
I have 3 boys myself and am in a rough relationship with my wife. Put self preservation as you foremost concern for now. While you may not be popular for doing so, everyone will benefit from it in the long run.
If you are anything like me, your brain will tirelessly hunt for any reason it can find to convince you that it is OK to use again. Be aware of that and hold your course.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 8
Thanks FNB3.....I actually did utilize the Thomas recipe and glad I did. I also googled other home detox recipes with nutritional components. I didn't have the option of going into a treatment facility. You are right, luck is not involved. It is a simple decision--you do it or you don't. What is not so simple has been weighing the pros and cons of either decision. I feel good about what I've done. At the end of the day, it will be one week clean. Every day is easier--sometimes only a tiny bit--but if I can just hold to the mantra one day at a time, one minute at a time, I believe I can do it. Thank you thank you.
Servant of God
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
You know, the thought that made me want to quit was simple. I asked myself "can I do this forever? Or until I die? My answer was NO. So I realized I would have to quit and go through the withdrawal sometime or another. It was much like cigarettes for me. I quit that 3 years ago after several attempts and it was easy the last time because I just realized I was done. At the end I would have a smoke in one hand and an inhaler in the other, literally using the inhaler between puffs so I could have the cigarette. Wow! Really? After seeing that in a moment of clarity quitting was easy. This is much the same. I have exhausted all means to be a successful managed drug user and couldn't do it. The percocet doesn't get me high anymore, just gets me back to even. Something wrong there. There are no more Pros for me. I lie and sneak around and plan my whole day and every thought around when and where I'm going to have those pills. There are no Pros for me.
So the fork in the road is here for me. Decide if I want the drug until I'm no longer here or quit. The idea that there may be Pros to keep using is only our addict minds way of rationalizing with us and trying to get us to have a positive thought about using again.
BTW, I feel like total garbage right now but I'm enjoying the withdrawals because I know I'm taking the right path.
I've never been sober Laurie. When I was a child and I felt bad I ate and became really fat. Then when I was nervous I smoked and couldn't breathe. When I was tired I took coffee and so on and so on.
I've never really given myself a chance to grow through feeling life. I'm probably around 15 years old right now, lol.
My perception of sobriety is not that its a joy-filled nirvana, but the ability to handle life as it comes without using and the ability to find the best in the small stuff throughout your day.
This is your thread and I'm making it all about me. I hope you can relate to some of the things I'm writing about and that it helps you.
So the fork in the road is here for me. Decide if I want the drug until I'm no longer here or quit. The idea that there may be Pros to keep using is only our addict minds way of rationalizing with us and trying to get us to have a positive thought about using again.
BTW, I feel like total garbage right now but I'm enjoying the withdrawals because I know I'm taking the right path.
I've never been sober Laurie. When I was a child and I felt bad I ate and became really fat. Then when I was nervous I smoked and couldn't breathe. When I was tired I took coffee and so on and so on.
I've never really given myself a chance to grow through feeling life. I'm probably around 15 years old right now, lol.
My perception of sobriety is not that its a joy-filled nirvana, but the ability to handle life as it comes without using and the ability to find the best in the small stuff throughout your day.
This is your thread and I'm making it all about me. I hope you can relate to some of the things I'm writing about and that it helps you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 18
Congrats on your decision!
Originally Posted by FNB3 
Put self preservation as you foremost concern for now. While you may not be popular for doing so, everyone will benefit from it in the long run.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I'm so glad you are here. I have two children myself. It's been 5 years and it does get better. Every day is better and better. The physical part is over but the mental part I struggled with and still do. Thank goodness for AA (we don't have a lot of NA meetings here). I am so grateful for the support from a 12 step program.
Keep coming back. You are not alone.
Keep coming back. You are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere, tx
Posts: 128
Wish You Well
Hi,
Godspeed in your recovery and everyone else's (incl. mine!!). I've only taken percocet a few times and thought it was a lovely experience, but I never had the opportunity to take in long-term, if I had, I would be writing the words you just wrote.
If you are getting the med from a doctor then I'd call & make an appointment asap...and explain the problem.
Oh and that Thomas Recipe calls for L-Lysine but LOTS of opiate users insist it should be L-Tyrosine instead so you may want to add that to your cart.
Best to you!
Godspeed in your recovery and everyone else's (incl. mine!!). I've only taken percocet a few times and thought it was a lovely experience, but I never had the opportunity to take in long-term, if I had, I would be writing the words you just wrote.
If you are getting the med from a doctor then I'd call & make an appointment asap...and explain the problem.
Oh and that Thomas Recipe calls for L-Lysine but LOTS of opiate users insist it should be L-Tyrosine instead so you may want to add that to your cart.
Best to you!
Congrats on your one week clean at the end of the day!!Servant of God
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 214
Hey LaurieC, how's it going? Just wanted go check in with you and hear from you.
I've been ranging from feeling like crap to feeling hopeful and positive to feeling like I just want to slip away from public stuff like this forum. The latter is what scares me because I know it's my minds attempt to make me believe I don't belong here an that I can handle my own business and am not an addict.
Hope you are well and hope to hear from you.
I've been ranging from feeling like crap to feeling hopeful and positive to feeling like I just want to slip away from public stuff like this forum. The latter is what scares me because I know it's my minds attempt to make me believe I don't belong here an that I can handle my own business and am not an addict.
Hope you are well and hope to hear from you.
Beat Opiates on my OWN!
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Rochester, New York
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by LaurieC
Thanks FNB3.....I actually did utilize the Thomas recipe and glad I did. I also googled other home detox recipes with nutritional components. I didn't have the option of going into a treatment facility. You are right, luck is not involved. It is a simple decision--you do it or you don't. What is not so simple has been weighing the pros and cons of either decision. I feel good about what I've done. At the end of the day, it will be one week clean. Every day is easier--sometimes only a tiny bit--but if I can just hold to the mantra one day at a time, one minute at a time, I believe I can do it. Thank you thank you.
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