LeadHatter

i am noticing that for some reason at times couples help me feel afraid.

im wondering if this has anything to do with bad parenting i suffered. at the hands of my parents. one who drunk the other has a history of mental illness

Latte

Quite possible. I have my place in AlAnon also. I grew up with an alcoholic father. Whatever you figure out, it is wonderful that there are people who have been there before and can help you deal with those feelings.

LeadHatter

i mean my father is what he is and that is to be accepted where it causes no harm to me or harm that i can reasonably prevent but sure his parenting is -- well so many times grr -- i have often in the past though less so now felt like I was the parent and my parent the child. not so much now but my father particularly can be terrible in terms of managing his own self, my grandfather has passedmiss u grampa

Latte

It is very difficult when we don't have some type of parenting figure ourselves to follow (or want to follow). Sometimes we have to start from scratch and figure it out ourselves. Luckily children are pretty resilient and they survive our parenting approach. I find that support from other people who have been there and done that (I belong to a parenting message board).

My favorite saying, "I can do a million things wrong in a day, but at the end of that day, if I'm sober, it's been a good day." That applies to parenting too.

LeadHatter

Thanks but i don't have young ones. Im single-ready to mingle if your balanced enough and i think i can handle you

today is my day 100 of being sober!hows that do whoop whoop:p but yesterday [day 99] i was so close to drinking i sat out contemplating whether i was being over-responsible. I did not slip though, just kinda strange that happened

Latte

But eventually you will get to that place in your life. It's a perfectly acceptable thought to have. How am I going to parent children when I have nothing to mirror.

It will all be okay. Somehow we all manage. My children are in therapy anyway.

LeadHatter

Thanks for your messages latte - im sorry for your troubles in life

its not that i have 'nothing' to mirror, i have hope. Maybe one can walk ones own path