strongangel

hey everyone! Ben is back in jail & going to the federal pen for the 3rd time.
the feds got his P O & his co workers to work with them & set him up to be
caught using drugs.They were telling him that he was watering down his urine
and finally they took him to jail after the feds spoke with a co worker.Ben is
telling me that he didn't do any drugs but he is going to prison for it and they
say he had a dirty U A. I don't believe Ben but has anyone ever heard of this?
Benny was a serious Cocaine addict who would also use Meth

Stride34

i don't know anything for sure anymore, but i'd say its probable

strongangel

Ben is my boyfriend & we have known each other since childhood
but the last several years he's been having a real hard struggle
getting off of drugs.I am a recovering alcoholic whose been clean
for a long time & desire to stay clean though temptation is every
where you turn,I think about better things and forget it.
I want to desperately help Ben & believe in him but it looks like
he's in denial & blame at this point?

strongangel

I'm sure he feels hurt & betrayed by everyone he worked with
and his bosses made an offer hard for him to turn down so he
went back to work for that company but I never wanted him
to go back there because the town that job is located is a nasty
drug town filled with all sorts of Meth addicts & Crime in general
and thats where he got into trouble before this.

strongangel

many addicts are good people,I was one of them when I
would booze it up.I was a good woman but loved the alcohol
like my closest & dearest friend & pushed everyone else away,
and Ben is good too,he was born into a drug infested family &
I don't see that he ever had a real choice?

MelissaNoDrugs

Urine screen checks for certain levels, besides the obvious drugs. It checks for body temperature and also creatine levels. These levels are checked for dilution, so if someone were to drink a gallon of water prior to the test it would register as low creatine and therefore invalid. In most programs an invalid test is often interpreted as positive.

Impurrfect

What (((Melissa))) says is true. I am taking a class in school, and my instructor works with the U.S. Ski team, and he was talking about how people think drinking a lot of water will help them pass the drug test. All it does is make it look more suspicious.

We all have a chance. Though I wasn't born into a drug infested family, I did become an addict, and I've been clean for 4 years. We ALL have a choice, we just have to want recovery more than we want anything else.

I'm sorry he's going back to prison, but in my experience, they don't send you to the federal pen without something solid to back them up.

And yes, many addicts ARE good people, but when we're using, we're usually anything BUT good. My niece's "dad" has had every opportunity to get his act straightened up. Instead, he's been in/out of jail her whole life (she's 17) and he's now in prison. It's affected her, quite a bit, even though she's never lived with him.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

strongangel

thankyou so much everyone! He says he wants me to help him
stay off of drugs. What can I do to help him everyone?
I'm a recovering alcoholic and people say it's not the same kind
of addiction so what worked for me may not work for him.He
started admitting he's an addict in 2009 for the very first time.
he's been in rehab once but for only 3 weeks.
He says he's willing to move away from his family and drug friends
but I have no idea what to do that can make a difference to him
and what he's going thru.His addiction is Chronic.He's finally asked
me for help with it this year 2011

strongangel

Ben got started on drugs at 12 years old then got into the heavier
drugs like cocaine & meth as an older teen.Many say he's stuck since
he's now going on 43 this april.

Impurrfect

You honestly can't help him, other than set boundaries such as "you use, I will not be around you"; "I will not be in a relationship with anyone using drugs".

Sounds harsh, but as long as you put up with his using, he's going to keep doing it. He's got to find his own way, and he's got to want it more than anything else in life...his life depends on it.

My uncle was a heroin addict for 40 years. Though he's on methadone and was finally diagnosed as bipolar, he's a new man....responsible, pays bills, etc.

Moving away from using friends is called a "geographical"...wherever we go, there we are. If we don't change ourselves, we'll easily find drugs wherever we go.

You may want to read on the Friends and Family/substance abuse to see what so many people have done to try to "help" their A get off drugs. Most have had to detach and let the A find their own way. I know MY family pretty much shut me out, until I got into recovery.

It's not easy to detach, but it doesn't mean you don't love him. In fact, it means you love him enough to let him deal with his consequences, and find his way back on his feet.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

strongangel

thankyou! I had to detach from Ben,it was very painful but I could see that once things were going good between us from his perspective he began playing games again and I could sense he wasn't being real with me & caught him in some lies as well.
He started being disrespectful again and didn't want to write much,mind you this guy can really write long letters and good ones too when he decides to.He didn't go into any real details about not using drugs again and basically didn't want to mention it at all. He just says he might as well give up on his life if he doesn't have me in it ect...

strongangel

I broke up with him on may 23rd 2011 and haven't written or spoke with him sense.He gets out of prison next month and I am worried about him and what his reaction might be since he didn't seem to believe me when I said it was over between us.