Notices

to drink or not to drink?

Old 03-19-2011, 10:30 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
to drink or not to drink?

at the moment i am in a episode of depression. I know it will pass with time but when im sitting in i feel ten times worse. I have two options, 1) sit in and mope or 2) go out and get drunk.

I dont particulary want to do either but those are my options. The reason i dont have any other options is because i suffer from social anxiety. Also i have just givin up substances and if i go out drinking it may lead me to tempation zone...

I simply dont know which option is worse. I could go down to visit my mum, but then again it wont be worth the trip down to her if shes drunk.

Life at the moment is empty...and thats how i feel empty...
Sorry to be sad and have nothing positive to say.
CheekyAngel is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 10:45 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
JayT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 18
Cheeky angel,
I can totally relate to where you are at. My mind is on fire and I am taking it day by day. I just found this website last night and it is already helping me. I, as well, have anxieties around other people which makes it hard to connect. Perhaps there are meetings in your area? you dont need to talk or say anything, or even stay for the whole time. Meetings have helped me "get out of myself and my head". Even if its just an hour and the thoughts come back, I have had teh chance to hear from others and possibly pick up some ideas to help.

I am so sorry to hear about your current stuff. This website could be a great place to "hook in" with others without facing anxieties of having to be "social".

I dunno, I am new, but I hope this helps.
JayT is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 11:05 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
Hi JayT,

Thank you for your reply and welcome to SR. Just to clear up, i have not given up alcohol. I am trying to reduce my medicating with it for anxiety..but i have given up substances.

I am currently in addiction counselling (two sessions only so far). They hold group meetings there too and i have been disgussing going but my anxiety is holding me back...to make eye contact with somebody send my anxiety sky high.

I dont want to sit in, and i dont want to drink...

I dont think there is an answer for me but i just feel so down. I dont know if getting out of the house is better for me than sitting in? But the only reason i would be going out is to drink...and that is stupid
CheekyAngel is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 11:33 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
chicory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
HI Cheeky,

this may sound like a dumb thought, but here goes anyway.
Since you are in counselling, and giving up substances (great idea, by the way), I am guessing that eventually you will be replacing those things with something, right? Maybe it is a good time to find out what healthy activities you might enjoy. Like drawing , or painting? Sometimes the hardest part is actually getting started.
How about some healthy physical activity? Biking, running, yoga?
often when we make ourselves do something , we find it does help. Especially with depression.
You are doing good, by sharing your feelings, and your thoughts, before acting on them.

hope that you find something special that surprises you.

hugs
chicory
chicory is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 12:56 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
Hi Chicory,

You are so right! I need to find things i enjoy to do; to replace the drugs. The only problem is that if it involves people i cannot really enjoy it due to the social phobia.

I enjoy writing poetry and making rhymes but to be fully honest, my attention span finds concentrating on this for a long time difficult. So it would have to be done in bits and pieces. Plus when i am just doing them for nothing, i have no motivation sometimes.

At christmas i bought a book...me and a book hold no relationship by the way!!!....but i actully finished the book and enjoyed it. I started a new book, but i got a quarter of the way through and gave up! I wasnt fully interested in the second book so maybe i need to go book shoping. Never ever did i think i would hear those words coming from me!!

I have decided to have a casual drink so i am around people...because of what i PM'd you. I need to take my mind of that as i fear what i may do. Again im sorry for putting that on you.

But you are so right about finding activite/hobbies i enjoy to do. I will begin to start reconigising what i like to do and act upon it. I went to a small quite gym a couple of times with my best friend. I enjoyed it but we stoped going so im actully going to get back into it because it got me out of the house and it is positive and healthy.

Thanks for the very good advice...it is greatly apprichated and i will take up more positive things.
CheekyAngel is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 04:40 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
chicory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
perhaps you could write short poems. short lines. and keep them. you never know, maybe sometime you might have someone look at them, to see if they could and should be published. some of the best writers are people who, like you, have experienced many things that most have not.

I would love to be able to write poetry. I used to love to read it in school. they sometimes had these poetry reading contests. anyone interested would read a poem in front of the whole school. and then they would pick the winner. it was always someone popular. I am surprised that I even got up to try it! I was so shy and poor and timid. i also cant believe that i got up to try out for cheerleader. I was the skinniest, gangliest, uncoordinated kid. I could not do a cartwheel, but somehow i told myself that I had a chance???boy, i feel for that kid sometimes...i guess I should admire her courage, but I only remember the rejection -ugh!
hugs
chicory
chicory is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 04:42 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
chicory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
you never know, there might be a famous short poem writer inside you!
give it a try, what do you have to lose?
chicory is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 06:38 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Alcohol is in itself a depressant, so treating depression with alcohol is ultimately self defeating from my experience...

I ended up not knowing where the depression stopped and the depressing effects of the alcohol began...so I drank more to somehow feel 'good'....eventually I had alcoholism to contend with as well.

It's not true to say you only have two options Cheeky.

You don't have to drink and, as others have said, you don't have to sit there and mope either

Exercise certainly helped me...seeing my doctor and my therapist/counsellor helped me too.

I hope you feel better soon

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-19-2011, 09:44 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Manz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,474
Hi Cheeky,

I have battled depression for sometime now, and also drank to self medicate....and it never ever helped.... in fact made it a million times worse.

You do have options cheeky that dont mean staying in and also dont mean you have to face people until you are ready with the help of counselling.

The one thing that has really helped start to lift my depression is getting out and in to nature. Whenever I feel really low or edgy i go to one of my favourite parks and walk my butt off!! It is known that all the feel good endorphins etc released when exercising help incredibly with depression. Add to that the nourishment I find being surrounded by nature.... it is a powerful combination.

I hope you can find your way out of seeing only 2 options Cheeky... and well done on giving up drugs, maybe its time for the booze too. Keep coming here for support, the people here are amazingly inspirational... it has helped me more than they probably know.

:ghug3
Manz is offline  
Old 03-20-2011, 06:24 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
"Casual drink"...who was i kidding?

For some reason since joining this site has it made me actully realise i have a problem with drink. I always knew drugs was a problem. I always knew that my pre-drinking/medicating was a problem too, but never to the extent it is.

With drink i have gotten some insight into where it may lead me, and its where im heading. I really dont want to go there as i have enough on my plate at the present and i certainly do not want to add to that.

I think i have to reconsider my whole life style and start fresh. I can only be heading down a road that will lead me to no good. I need to do a u-turn and return to a time i was happy.

If i were not to be suffering from depression, anxities, fears or obsessions, i think i would be strong enough to give up drinking but because i suffer from all those, drink is my escape route.

I have tried other routes and will continue to keep trying. I hope that one day i can turn around and say "no im not drinking tonight, but yes i am coming out", to my friends. It seems like a million miles away. Honestly i do not want to stop drinking but i feel that i have to, to 1) better my MH and 2) better my quality of life ...

Thanks all for the replies...
CheekyAngel is offline  
Old 03-21-2011, 09:44 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by CheekyAngel View Post
at the moment i am in a episode of depression. I know it will pass with time but when im sitting in i feel ten times worse. I have two options, 1) sit in and mope or 2) go out and get drunk.
(((CheekyAngel))) Actually.....these are NOT your only two options. These are just the two you are telling yourself at the moment.

You could go out and spend some time outdoors, you could go to the local library or museum, you could go window shopping, birdwatching, any number of things to get you out of your home for a bit.

I hope that you will soon be feeling better! You deserve happiness!!!!!!
Seren is offline  
Old 03-21-2011, 01:39 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
Thanks Hydrogirl,

I would love to go outside even for a brisk walk. The thing is, i dislike leaving my home due to social anxiety. I would rather not leave the comfort of my own house.

I realise i will never get any better if i continue to stay in my 'bubble'. I will try to make goals for myself that enables me to do a little a day. It will be hard......but nothing is easy.

I dont even want to get out of bed most days. The main reason i do, is for food!! I will continue to struggle on until things get better. I will try to make use of the days...however difficult.

I dont want life to pass me by and at the moment that's what's happening for me.

Take Care
CheekyAngel is offline  
Old 03-22-2011, 05:28 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi CA!!! I do hope that this will pass soon. I have known a couple of agoraphobics in my day and have perhaps a small understanding of how you feel. Perhaps think about the fact that you left your house to go get liquor, you would just be leaving your house to perhaps take a short walk around the block......no personal interactions necessary.

But just know that Rome wasn't built in a day...one small step, one small victory at a time!

Hugs, HG
Seren is offline  
Old 03-23-2011, 12:08 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
PureLife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 18
ugh i feel the same way.. massive headache 6 days sober and all i can think about is drinking because i'm just so mad at everything and cannot handle the sitting around thing..
PureLife is offline  
Old 03-23-2011, 04:38 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
CheekyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by hydrogirl View Post
Hi CA!!! I do hope that this will pass soon. I have known a couple of agoraphobics in my day and have perhaps a small understanding of how you feel. Perhaps think about the fact that you left your house to go get liquor, you would just be leaving your house to perhaps take a short walk around the block......no personal interactions necessary.

But just know that Rome wasn't built in a day...one small step, one small victory at a time!

Hugs, HG
I am going to try set a side one thing a day that will help me to overcome anxiety. Its not just going to go away 1)on its own and 2)by not doing anything.

I am also going to begin getting stuck into relaxation/meditation again. Its funny, i know all these things help but i struggle to find the motivation to do them.

I suppose that motivation shall come from within and i will seach for the motivation until i find it!!

Originally Posted by PureLife View Post
ugh i feel the same way.. massive headache 6 days sober and all i can think about is drinking because i'm just so mad at everything and cannot handle the sitting around thing..
Welcome PureLife

The difference with me is that, i could sit in day in and day out and not drink. The thing is, i dont want to sit in day in and day out. I want to go out. Its the going out that is a problem for me due to the anxiety...

Congrats on the 6days sober...keep it up...

Are you recieveing support for being and staying sober?

Remember, it has to get worse to get better...
CheekyAngel is offline  
Old 03-24-2011, 08:55 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
PureLife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 18
Yeah do far just my fiancé, brother, mother, and a friend know. It feels good though today is my first week and I haven't felt so this happy in a while.
PureLife is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:42 AM.