Addicted to Drama
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
Addicted to Drama
Hey, I hope this is the right place to put this, it seemed fitting, as I'm losing my mind!
So, I have always thought I had SO many different addictions, but after discussing some problems with some friends, they suggested that maybe I am really just addicted to drama! This is probably true, I thought-- all my addictions: drugs and alcohol, eating disorders, self injury, sex/people, shoplifting, even cigarettes, have caused drama in my life.
Whether I'm using or lying or cheating or stealing, whatever, I am always bringing drama into my life. I have a way of not hiding these things very well-- in fact, I am very open about my problems. I have tried to lie about it in the past, but wasn't fooling anyone, so I decided that I was going to do what I was going to do, and my loved ones would have to deal with it! So I stopped trying to 'get away' with stuff, and just started acting out. It was kind of a "F*ck you, I'm drunk" kind of thing... I figured if people didn't want to be hurt by my behavior, they could just stop caring so damn much, problem solved!
Anyway, I am now trying to straighten my life out. I have 29 days clean today (I've been trying for about a year now) and I'm realizing I need to work on my other drama. Right now that drama consists mostly of inappropriate relationships outside my marriage. I have cheated on my husband multiple times (he knows about it) and am always seeking attention from other men/women. I'm a huge flirt, which I thought was a big problem-- that I kept giving off the wrong signals or whatever. Really, though, I think this is a small part of a bigger problem-- I always find new ways to act out once I start "recovering" from one form of acting out.
I have tried to enjoy not having any drama in my life, but it always finds its way back in, and I'm sure that as long as I continue going to NA (which I plan to continue) there will be opportunities to engage in drama. I'm not sure how to resist it. Even if I weren't in NA, I'd create my own drama in some form or another-- I don't need anyone but my family to create drama.
How can I beat this addiction? I plan to put it through the steps with my sponsor, but I'd like other practical advice as well.
So, I have always thought I had SO many different addictions, but after discussing some problems with some friends, they suggested that maybe I am really just addicted to drama! This is probably true, I thought-- all my addictions: drugs and alcohol, eating disorders, self injury, sex/people, shoplifting, even cigarettes, have caused drama in my life.
Whether I'm using or lying or cheating or stealing, whatever, I am always bringing drama into my life. I have a way of not hiding these things very well-- in fact, I am very open about my problems. I have tried to lie about it in the past, but wasn't fooling anyone, so I decided that I was going to do what I was going to do, and my loved ones would have to deal with it! So I stopped trying to 'get away' with stuff, and just started acting out. It was kind of a "F*ck you, I'm drunk" kind of thing... I figured if people didn't want to be hurt by my behavior, they could just stop caring so damn much, problem solved!
Anyway, I am now trying to straighten my life out. I have 29 days clean today (I've been trying for about a year now) and I'm realizing I need to work on my other drama. Right now that drama consists mostly of inappropriate relationships outside my marriage. I have cheated on my husband multiple times (he knows about it) and am always seeking attention from other men/women. I'm a huge flirt, which I thought was a big problem-- that I kept giving off the wrong signals or whatever. Really, though, I think this is a small part of a bigger problem-- I always find new ways to act out once I start "recovering" from one form of acting out.
I have tried to enjoy not having any drama in my life, but it always finds its way back in, and I'm sure that as long as I continue going to NA (which I plan to continue) there will be opportunities to engage in drama. I'm not sure how to resist it. Even if I weren't in NA, I'd create my own drama in some form or another-- I don't need anyone but my family to create drama.
How can I beat this addiction? I plan to put it through the steps with my sponsor, but I'd like other practical advice as well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
My daughter has been working on her sobriety. She's 23. Things were going ok, kind of quiet for a couple weeks, managing it....etc...then I didn't see her the whole weekend...
hadn't thought much about it, just went on about my business, then Monday.....I ask her what time she has to be at work, cause I give her a ride on my way to work....
she looks at me "AND SHE HAS A BLACK EYE"...I'm like WTF??? happened.
Well, of course I knew she drank, cause she wouldn't have that black eye if she didn't. She said, she got in a fight with another girl...............ahhhhhh lordy!
I asked her: "You just can't live without some DRAMA in your life, can you?" even if there isn't any she'll go out of her way to CREATE some!!!!!
hadn't thought much about it, just went on about my business, then Monday.....I ask her what time she has to be at work, cause I give her a ride on my way to work....
she looks at me "AND SHE HAS A BLACK EYE"...I'm like WTF??? happened.
Well, of course I knew she drank, cause she wouldn't have that black eye if she didn't. She said, she got in a fight with another girl...............ahhhhhh lordy!
I asked her: "You just can't live without some DRAMA in your life, can you?" even if there isn't any she'll go out of her way to CREATE some!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rooster Poot, Texas
Posts: 76
One of the things I think addicts/alcoholics find most difficult is things being 'normal', status quo. I think it is a rare person indeed with a substance problem who is NOT a drama addict... we just aren't comfortable if things are not chaotic, crazy, on the edge, on the verge, whatever phrase you want to use.
I believe that with sobriety comes maturity & with maturity comes a lack of selfishness & self-involvement if you work your recovery with true recovery in mind. People here with way more time on than me can probably state this more succinctly~~ but recovery isn't just about 'I don't shoot up anymore' 'I don't drink anymore', etc. It's about healing yourself in all aspects of life; physically, mentally, emotionally. You kinda really actually truly GROW UP for the first time. And with all that, in time, comes less & less of a need for~~ & then an actual aversion to~~ drama.
Congrats on those 29 days!
I believe that with sobriety comes maturity & with maturity comes a lack of selfishness & self-involvement if you work your recovery with true recovery in mind. People here with way more time on than me can probably state this more succinctly~~ but recovery isn't just about 'I don't shoot up anymore' 'I don't drink anymore', etc. It's about healing yourself in all aspects of life; physically, mentally, emotionally. You kinda really actually truly GROW UP for the first time. And with all that, in time, comes less & less of a need for~~ & then an actual aversion to~~ drama.
Congrats on those 29 days!
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