Begood

Lil background- I was on herion n oxy for about 2 years, last year was ruff, dad died last march, i lost my job 6 months before that, so when he died i go back into using even harder

52 days ago- I dunno if it was my mom or gf suspecting i was using again or just sick n tired of the cycle, get high then take subs when i wanted to get clean for a day or two, I found this website and used it as going to a meeting

Today- I just started a good job two weeks ago, that has helped me tremedously without it i dunno where i would be, right now my desire to use dope is a 1-2. but i sometimes get thoughst of using as a reward after a long week just to kick it on a weekand and relax, so far so good but i just need some words of support from you guys n sum tips on how i shouldnt let myself slip up...

ps. thanks for this site, if i didnt find it i might have had to tell my mom n go to rehab or i would have had a mental breakdown, but now with work, i am 100% focused on that, my new drug you could say. that n tv and chillen with the woman is my life, again

thanks to all who read this

Dee74

There are lots of good healthy rewards begood.
Using isn't one of them.

Go do something fun and positive on the weekend - see a movie, go for a drive, take someone out to dinner, buy a CD or DVD...the only limit is your imagination really.

D

kiki5711

dreamscape

advice from someone who's had the same thoughts many times.

I get those thought mostly when things are going good for me because i want that good feeling to be a great feeling.

This is the time to exercise extreme caution, as it is nothing but an invitation right back to hell on earth or even death.

Don't even think about going there.

whiskerkissed

Been there!! Now what I do is treat myself to renting a good movie, going for a ride in the mountains, taking myself to dinner, maybe buy a trinket (although my "trinkets have been on the obsessive side lately), but I don't use. It will start the cycle all over again.

I have to watch the "feel good" times as much as I have to watch the bad feelings. I feel SO good that I want to feel better!! Red flag stuff!

thatfeel

Take it from someone who's been f****** up big time with this "reward" thing: What you want is probably not temporary memory loss followed by a day of pain.

Whiskerkissed and Dee have the right idea.

Also, an absolutely huge congratulations on 52 days, you are awesome!!

Begood

thanks im doin good so far, i really think i have a good base. im standing tall and dont want to fall back.