CheekyAngel

hi,

Im goin into addiction counseling soon. Im on a waiting list to be assigned a key worker. I'll give you a quick run down on my situation. Every weekend for the last 6 years i have been getting out of my mind from drink and drugs. Im only 20, nearly 21. I suffer severe anxiety for many years now and have recieved therapy three times, with no result. I tried getting off drugs before but it never lasted long. I am going addiction counselling because one of theripsts said i will never get rid of anxiety if i dont get off drugs, so she refered me to this centre.

What do i expect from addiction counselling? Will it really help reduce anxiety (if you have suffered)?

I love to party as it is the only time i can fully let go off anxiety and be myself (well 'myself' on drugs and drink). But also when i take drugs, and come down i get extremely paroniod.
How has people managed with the change in lifestyle? I will still want to go to the partys/events even if im just drinking. But that is temptation zone and i dont know how im going to change what i like to do.

The last thing, i dont go out much on the weekdays because of social anxiety. If i need to stop going to the partys i wont see my friends. I feel i will isolate myself. I take xanex 2/3 times a week (sometimes more if needed). In substance abuse counselling do you thin will they make me stop taking xanex??

Any feedback will be greatly apprichated,

CheekyAngel...

whiskerkissed

I don't know anything about treatment centers or addiction counselors, Cheeky. My only experience with a med. intervention facility is a 6 day detox. However - I do know how I am getting rid of the anxiety, fears, isolation, and whatever else comes with drinkin' and druggin'. Don't drink and drug, and I began to attend a 12-step program.

I work the Narcotics Anonymous program. The 12-step programs are designed to look at why I have the behaviors that lead me to thinking using is my way to live life - and to change those unhealthy behaviors with better ones. My anxiety stems from those thought processes and behaviors. My anxiety often went into full-blown attacks and paralyzed me. And those are getting farther apart, don't last as long and the intensity is much, much less!

An addiction counselor may very well guide you to a 12-step program.

thatfeel

Hi CheekyAngel. Good for you take this step at such a young age. It seems you are approaching the key insight of the vicious cycle between drugs and why you take them.

Yes in therapy "they" will ask you to stop taking Xanax. But this is something that "you" will have to want. Xanax is a very powerful drug with pretty debilitating side effects. Anxiety when you're an addict is part of that vicious cycle I've mentioned. You can't usually "cure" it with Xanax. Did a doctor prescribe it to you?

There are thousands of horror stories regarding even prescribed Xanax use. I agree with the therapist that told you what the first step in attacking your anxiety is. Good luck.

FT

Cheeky,

I'm with ThatFeel. You are young and you have nothing to lose by checking this thing out. Social anxiety is real normal for someone your age, and if you can get into some kind of organized group like NA, you will learn that being a part of a group is not only therapeutic but can be really fun. There will be people your age there, and people older, and maybe even some younger. I would check out the NA group even before you go to counseling. First, it's free, and second it's available all the time and NO waiting list.

CheekyAngel

Thanks for the replys...

Well the anxiety is my mian problem in life. It is soooo dis-abeling. That is why i am going to try and get off drugs for good because i know they cant help the situation. Yes i was perscribed xanax. I find it hard to live a normal everyday life. I started using relaxers (dolmain, xanax, valium etc.) recreationally first.
I would take a handful of tablets in the evening with my mate and because i took so much i could still feel the effect to next morning. I finished college (was a struggle), but i believe i couldnt have attened most days i didnt get a break from anxiety and the only way this was from taking a bunch a night before.

I started feeling myself getting cravings for them and if i couldnt get them my head was melted. I noticed that it was starting to become a problem and decided to stop taking them recreationally and to take them tactifully insted. So when my mate could get some i would stash them off for when i had to do something that i either would really hate doing or something i wouldnt usually do because of anxiety.

Now where im at with xanex, i have started volunteering since Christmas. For this volunteering there was 9 weeks of training prior (every friday, once a week). Every training i went...i took xanex. Now im voluntering twice a week, so take them twice for that. I believe that if i ended up voluntering mon-fri, i would have had to take them mon-fri. Other things i would take them for would be attending social events, such as a christinings, funerals, dinners, lunches etc.
I want to go back to college but am afraid i wont be able to stick out mon-fri, being a bag of nerves.
Anyway (slightly rambeling!) i dont think i could function without them but i also know they are not going to help anxiety in the long run. I dont know wether or not i should try and get off them too while im getting of drugs.
I know that initatily stopping drugs, anxiety wont be much lower. So i dont know how ill get by without them.

the centre i will be attending in a few weeks have it doors open every evening for people like me to come in a socialize, have a agame of pool etc. I dont particulary want to attend them evenings because of the social phobia. I find it difficult to even be with my friends. But i never know...my mind may change!!
Im worryed about having to give up my present life, like how much my life will have to change. It may be for the better but to be fully honest...i like hitting the town on fridays and saturdays, i like sitting in the pub (drunk so no anxiety), i like to let loose etc. It is all i have ever known since i was really young. Stopping these behaviours will be a seperate difficult part i will have to become aware of and tackle.
I will check out any NA near me and get more info on it. Could be a route i can take (anxiety in my head suddenly thinks of all the people and anxiety involved!!) that may help to become more confident and meet new people.

Thanks again...

FT

Just ask some of the NA folks on here and they will hook you up with info on your local meetings wherever you are. There's a whole NA forum here that you may have already seen.

CheekyAngel

Thanks i will have a look and see....

whiskerkissed

NA.org Meeting Locator

Call before going to find the meeting first. A lot of meetings fold, change location, or new ones are added but haven't made it to the website yet. Best of luck!

CheekyAngel

thanks for the NA locator Wiskerkissed. AHHH i dont know what to do...im begining to lost faith in myself.

I dont know if i will be able to sit in a circle with a group of people because i will be MAJORLY anxious. I will need xanax and i presume it wont be tolerated...

tdbettr

If that is the case talk to us! we are all dealing with our demons. I too can not go to a meeting. I'm a person who needs to fix things on my own. Having said that this Board has helped realize I'm not alone and it has helped me through my ups and downs these past two weeks

whiskerkissed

Don't lose faith hun. The anxiety is natural. It's when we give in to the fear that the disease wins. I was high my first meeting - and still getting high for over 30 days every meeting before I was able to stop. The ONLY requirement for membership is the desire to stop using. The members gave me hope, gave me encouragement. One man in particular would chase me out the doors (I would leave AS SOON as the meeting was over) and he would ask me if I was ok to drive - and to "keep coming back".

I'm not saying going in high is the right thing to do, but it got me in the doors.

CheekyAngel

i recieved a call this morning from the addiction centre. i have a meeting tomorrow with a key worker. Im sh**ing it. Im not sure how im going to change my life style....its all i know.

After the weekend ive had im so drained and afraid. Im already anxious for tommorow.

In the back of my mind i dont believe giving up drugs will cure my anxiety disorder. Proof is in the pudding though, drugs can cause anxiety. But if i manage to stay off drugs and im still fighting anxiety im afraid ill resort back to my old ways.

About the xanax, i cant function without them. I dont take them everyday but i take them going to certain things. For example, i will take one tomorrow for the meeting and thursday i will take one going to the helpline (where i volunteer). I dont know how i could live my life without xanax...whatever about the drugs, xanax is what i truely believe i need to live some kind of life.

tdbettr

Xanax helped me with my W/D from Oxy. However I stopped it because I nolonger want to depend on a pill to get me through the day. And also my anxiety is really low. Please read your previous post, your planning your days with it. I went to a doctor several months ago and got placed on Lexapro it has saved my life of anxiety and worry. No side effects and most important no W/D if i don't take it.

Zencat

I started my recovery journey with IOP addiction counseling. It was where I laid down the foundation to my recovery. It was great experience to learn about addiction and to develop skills that continue to help me live drug free.

I have a dual-diagnosis of addiction and PTSD. One big feature of my mental illness is anxiety. When I came down from the drugs my anxiety worsened. But because of my condition, I receive psychiatric care from a doctor that is aware of my addiction issues. That way I can receive appropriate medical treatment without risking my sobriety.

Sugah

The biggest obstacle for me to get past was setting aside what I "knew" would happen if I stopped using. I had a very compelling reason to keep using, too--opiates and relaxants for chronic pain conditions (pain which, untreated, induced extreme anxiety).

At some point, when you can't figure your way around this, you might consider putting aside what you are sure will happen and allow yourself the experience of discovering it a day at a time. Like a lot of the rest of us.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

P.S. Alcohol is a drug, too.

CheekyAngel

Yeah your right. I am planning to take them already. This is a bad sign thet im becoming dependant on them. But i honestly see no other option. If i dont have them i will never leave my house. My world has gotten smaller and it is still shrinking because of the anxiety. Without xanax im afraid ill dissapear - ill be forgotten about.

I understand it is no long term solution and it may make things worse but i dont know if things can get any worse than they already are. Give me you honest opionion on wether or not i should give xanax up too. Now keep in mind my whole life is effected by anxiety and i have tries therapy 3 times and tried many anti-depressants to help (including lexapro)...but nothing was any use.

Trust me i know the anxiety with coming down. The paronoia is unbearable. I dont know why i do it to myself. Did you find giving up drugs reduced the anxiety?

When you say you recieve "appropriate medical treatment"...what do you mean by this?

This is a good point. I think i worry to much about what WILL happen. But it is hard not to when you know whats comming. Ive suffered mental health conditions for 6 years and from trying my best to over come them my motivation is fading. I try to stay positive but it is so difficult when there is so much negativity surrounding me. Im sorry if i sound i am being defensive/resisting your point...ive taken it on board.....but its hard to live everday life and i feel my potential is being wasted.

I want to live a normal happy life...............but it seems like it will never happen. I know some will say (as i would to someone else), it will happen in due time but this is reality for me and its difficult to see my life differently.

And i know drink is a drug too....that is another issue for me as i medicate with it. In the centre im going to tomorrow one thing i am going to discuss and do is to reduce my alcohol intake because i drink 4-6 cans before i go out to take the edge off. Plus again without drink i wouldnt be able to attend things like the pub because of anxiety.

I hate to go on about anxiety so much but it is creating most of the problems in my life

Thanks all for the replies...

Sugah

If you take away the drugs (including alcohol), what do you have in common with these friends you're so sure you'll miss? And have you considered the significance of the onset of your anxiety coinciding with your weekend binging?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Zencat

Eventually my anxiety lessened by being clean and getting help for my PTSD. But that has been a long, long process with plenty of ups and downs along the way.

The "appropriate medical treatment" means that I have a good caring psychiatrist and not Dr. Feelgood. In addition to that I'm maintaining my mental health and addiction recovery with the help of county programs, plus the stuff I do maintain wellness on my own.

trappeshot

Do not go into it thinking that you aren't "as bad" as some who are older, that's a mistake a LOT of younger people make in recovery, they don't take it seriously. I'm not that old (27) but when I was 23 and got my first taste of recovery that's exactly what was going through my mind.

tdbettr

CA, I can only speak for myself I used xanax to help me with my anxiety from the OXY WD hell. I would only take .5 and it helped. For me I've been a partier and If I didn't wan a drink or a smoke I didnt do it

But OXY blindsided me I'm an addict and I've accepted it.

Its hard very hard but this site helped me, reading the fact I'm not alone helps so much.