Gratitude
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 132
Gratitude
hello everyone.
It's day 2 for me on this site. I just read the 12 characteristics.....
WOW!
In finally admitting that I need to leave my AH, I am also waking up to my whole messed up life-long issues involving, and created by my family.
I thought I had dealt with all this before when I " convinced my mom to stop drinking." Ofcourse I only just now realize 20 yrs later, that I had nothing to do with it. And yet that one belief, set forth a series of choices in my life......and here we are.
I only stayed with my AH as long as I have because I've been living under the delusion, that "If anyone can heal him I can!"
Wow!
I was capable of cutting off the rest of my family, after waking up to the reality of their total dyfunction and total disregard for me or my welfare,
and yet this last piece of the puzzle, has only now come to surface over the past few days.
I identify with absolutely all 13 characteristics. But ya know, its kind of a relief. Because now I have something concrete to work with.
The thing with ada's, (atleast for me) is they never get a chance to learn what's normal.
I remember, as a child , I was aware enough of this that I would go over to my neighbor's house whenever I could and offer to do chores, just so I could learn how! Because my mother never let me do anything.
She must have sensed this too, because most of the time I had to stay alone in my room. I was hardly ever allowed to go anywhere.
And shortly before she died, I was trying to iron a shirt, and after watching me struggling for a few minutes, she said "I never taught you anything did I?" To which I replied, "No Mom, but that's o.k. you can teach me now." And she did.
I am as grateful for that moment, as I am for this one. And finding this site. Thankyou.
It's day 2 for me on this site. I just read the 12 characteristics.....
WOW!
In finally admitting that I need to leave my AH, I am also waking up to my whole messed up life-long issues involving, and created by my family.
I thought I had dealt with all this before when I " convinced my mom to stop drinking." Ofcourse I only just now realize 20 yrs later, that I had nothing to do with it. And yet that one belief, set forth a series of choices in my life......and here we are.
I only stayed with my AH as long as I have because I've been living under the delusion, that "If anyone can heal him I can!"
Wow!
I was capable of cutting off the rest of my family, after waking up to the reality of their total dyfunction and total disregard for me or my welfare,
and yet this last piece of the puzzle, has only now come to surface over the past few days.
I identify with absolutely all 13 characteristics. But ya know, its kind of a relief. Because now I have something concrete to work with.
The thing with ada's, (atleast for me) is they never get a chance to learn what's normal.
I remember, as a child , I was aware enough of this that I would go over to my neighbor's house whenever I could and offer to do chores, just so I could learn how! Because my mother never let me do anything.
She must have sensed this too, because most of the time I had to stay alone in my room. I was hardly ever allowed to go anywhere.
And shortly before she died, I was trying to iron a shirt, and after watching me struggling for a few minutes, she said "I never taught you anything did I?" To which I replied, "No Mom, but that's o.k. you can teach me now." And she did.
I am as grateful for that moment, as I am for this one. And finding this site. Thankyou.
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