Akayla

my mom left, and she left my bottle of xanax here by accident. she's meant to come back in the morning.

without even thinking, i popped some, and i've downed half a bottle of wine...i didn't even know it was buried in the back of my fridge. ive been alcohol free for 3 weeks. im so mad at myself...

i feel weird, but not dangerous weird. just not normal i don't know how many pills ive taken today. i dont know what to do. ride it out?

Dee74

I think the best thing to do always is get some professional medical advice Akayla.
If nothing else remember 911 if you feel you need it.

D

Akayla

aside from 911, where do i find medical advice?

Missybuns

You can find medical advice (and care) at the Emergency Room...only if you do decide to go there, don't drive, call a cab.

You know you could really hurt yourself thinking you can mix drugs or go on some binge just before you go to detox. This isn't a freebie. You could even die.

You don't have to wait to detox before you hit an NA meeting. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using.

Maybe you ought to consider finding an NA meeting in your area tomorrow. There are many recovering addicts in your neck of the woods. I am willing to bet there are several meetings going on during a Saturday. Do you know how to find a meeting?

Missy

Akayla

ok...i think im ok. i just drank a ton of water and ate some bread...i feel a bit better. i hate this addict in me. i have no control...my god. two minutes unsupervised two days before detox.

i'm talking to my mom, she's coming back...

dreamscape

If it was me .......I would not drink anymore booze, or take anymore pills, and I would get back on track with mom in the morning. If it was me..

Mixing pills with benzos can kill you. I know someones mom who died doing just that.
Why not get someone to drive you to emerg and get checked out.

Akayla

my mom didnt get far before i called her back, she'll be here within ten minutes. i hate that im putting her through this. i hate myself right now...i was doing so well. until i was alone.

Akayla

I know. I just lost control for a millisecond and ended up here.

I do, yes, and so does my mom (know how to find a meeting). she detoxed from alcohol and xanax herself. there are several NA/AA meetings all over the place in orlando several times a day.

clearly i need to have my mom here with me until i check into detox. this is the first time i've been "alone" and i went right back to the addict in two seconds flat.

she just called, she's just a moment away.

Missybuns

An addict alone is in bad company.

you can find a meeting here:

NA Meeting Search

there are 14 meetings in Orlando Florida on Saturdays

Take care tonight,
Missy

Akayla

my mom is here now. thanks, everyone. i don't know what i would do without this forum.

FT

Hey --

I caught on a little late here, but all states and most larger cities have a crisis line number you can call, often via 911, that will talk to you on the spot to help you know if you have an emergency needing help.

You can do this anonymously most of the time. If you are still reading, and are in any doubt, get that crisis line number and call it now.

Akayla

i am indeed still reading. mom is here, making me food, and i think i'm okay, but she's watching me very carefully. she's prepared to seek emergency assistance if i need it....

FT

(407) 425-2624

This is the Crisis Line number for your area. It is usually used for people who may harm themselves deliberately, but they get all kinds of other calls and field them all the time. You don't even have to tell them who you are.

Please call it, and tell them someone told you to call. If they can't help you know what to do, they will have other numbers to call or places to contact.

Please call.

OutofIdeas75

Ask her to only bring the dosage you need, not the entire script. That way, this can't happen again.

Keep in mind...it's only a couple of days!!

Akayla

Oh, she's taken the pills away as i've already exceeded my dosage for the day and she's spending the night, of course. she'll likely stay the whole weekend after this. she just made me some chicken and veggies and brought some ginger ale; i think things are ok now. i just had a panic attack, got really scared--- when i felt so under the influence after she left, accidentally leaving the bottle of pills behind.

i'm going to eat with her now and head to bed as long as she thinks its okay and i feel alright.

FT

I still think you or your mom should call the crisis line and talk to a medical type person who can tell you mom what to watch for if you go to sleep. I am concerned about the mixture of alcohol and benzodiazepines and you going to sleep. I am concerned about your breathing under those influences and whether your mom is equipped for an emergency if you vomit, aspirate, or stop breathing. I don't want to scare you too much, but you really need to call.

Akayla

This is Akayla's mom writing. She seems ok now and I have her medication and have dumped all alcohol; I'll be dispensing the medication as prescribed until she goes to detox. If any warning signs arise I will immediately take her to the ER, but she seems fine now that she is eating. The earlier slurring has disappeared and I will watch her when she goes to bed.

I'm glad she has this support forum, and I will accompany her to an NA meeting tomorrow.

Best,
Rose

FT

Keep the crisis number close by:

(407) 425-2624

You are a good mom.

Akayla

Thank you. I will. Being a recovered addict of the same kind myself, I know what to look for, and I'll keep the number close. I plan on staying awake to watch her when she goes to sleep.

Akayla

Thanks for everyone's help and support last night. Clearly I'm fine now, but that was a scary relapse of epic proportions at a really stupid time (2 days before detox). Thank god for mom. You know, she hasn't really been around much lately, and wasn't at all for my first detox stint (I know I mentioned my lack of support before), so even though last night was horrible and I'm beyond angry at myself, I think my mom truly believes I have a problem now and will be there for me through this.
I think she's been clean so long maybe she had become desensitized? I still haven't figured that part out (why its been so hard to get support from an entire family of pill poppers and alcoholics, some in recovery, some still using), but no need to dwell on confusion about that. Maybe I'll talk to her about it today...
Anyway, thanks again.

~A