Taken advantage of
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 775
Taken advantage of
Ok so I have been sober for almost 2 years.I have slipped a few times but its been a long time .My problem is the people in my life I support everybody.My In-laws lkive in my rental apt rent free for 16 years and my wife doesnt understand why this makes me crazy.She says their not "disposable".I feel very taken advantage of.I own everything and the people around me like me high because then I let them take advantage of me .I'm concidering selling everything and dissappearing but I have a 13 yo son who is my life.He's the only reason I'm not 6ft under.I'm depressed and unstable right now I'm gonna go for a walk to clear my head.At my wits end T
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
I dunno T.
I'm going to leave that one for wiser heads than mine in the way of relationships.
Spoken to your sponsor yet?
I will say anyone living rent free is...remarkably lucky. I'm on government benefits where I live and I pay rent - I can't really see why anyone else couldn't, or wouldn't, want to make some contribution at least.
But disappearing won't solve anything - that's old behaviour, man - I think you need to talk this one through with everyone involved and work this out - one way or the other.
D
I'm going to leave that one for wiser heads than mine in the way of relationships.
Spoken to your sponsor yet?
I will say anyone living rent free is...remarkably lucky. I'm on government benefits where I live and I pay rent - I can't really see why anyone else couldn't, or wouldn't, want to make some contribution at least.
But disappearing won't solve anything - that's old behaviour, man - I think you need to talk this one through with everyone involved and work this out - one way or the other.
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Wow! That is a tough spot. While I'm no expert, maybe you can begin to address these things one at a time?
Maybe give the in-laws 3 months to begin to pay something toward rent. If you are currently doing all the maintenance on the place, perhaps a reduced rent for them and have them take over all of the maintenance (plumbing, painting, carpet cleaning, etc.).
Certainly if owning the property is nothing but a money-losing proposition, it's not fair to you or your family in the long run. If they do not agree to begin paying rent, you would be well within your rights to sell the property.
Whatever you decide, not all problems have to be solved overnight. I hope that this is not threatening your sobriety! Hugs, HG
Maybe give the in-laws 3 months to begin to pay something toward rent. If you are currently doing all the maintenance on the place, perhaps a reduced rent for them and have them take over all of the maintenance (plumbing, painting, carpet cleaning, etc.).
Certainly if owning the property is nothing but a money-losing proposition, it's not fair to you or your family in the long run. If they do not agree to begin paying rent, you would be well within your rights to sell the property.
Whatever you decide, not all problems have to be solved overnight. I hope that this is not threatening your sobriety! Hugs, HG
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
how is asking them to carry some of their own weight in anyway connected being disposable? Does she mean disposable as in "throw away" or disposing as in "to deal with conclusively; settle."?
Asking for what they can provide is not too much to ask. Whether they are complacent or indigent...not sure the situation but what ever it is...there is a solution that can restore your sanity. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Sounds cliche...but that is what it is!
and just like Dee74 said...disappearing won't solve anything.
pulling for ya!
Missy
Asking for what they can provide is not too much to ask. Whether they are complacent or indigent...not sure the situation but what ever it is...there is a solution that can restore your sanity. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Sounds cliche...but that is what it is!
and just like Dee74 said...disappearing won't solve anything.
pulling for ya!
Missy
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