SuperCat

Well I've been on tramadol for nearly a year. It was only 4 tablets a day for a really painful knee injury. I was previously on 10+ codeine a day which weren't really doing the job. I didn't find swapping from codeine to tramadol too difficult but now I've got to the point where the knee is mostly better and I want to get off the tramadol.

I also have fibromyalgia. It's hard to know which symptoms are from the tramadol and which are because of the fibromyalgia. I'm Also very underweight, I don't have an eating disorder but I just keep losing it. Over christmas I got down to 6 1/2 stone. Since dropping my tramadol dose I've put on 7lbs in just over a week! Which is more than I've been able to put on in 3 years! This leads me to believe that the tramadol is more than likely only making my condition worse.

So, I went from 4-3 which wasn't too bad. Looking back I definitely suffered withdrawal but I didn't recognise what it was at the time. 3 weeks or so later I decided to drop from 3-2, this was difficult and when I really started researching tramadol and realised that what I was feeling wasn't some misplaced depressive episode but was in fact full blown withdrawal. I acclimatised to the 2 a day within about 3 days and last Wednesday I took the plunge and decided to drop to 1 a day. This has been awful. I went to the doctor on Friday and she said she was very impressed with my progress and to 'stick with it' as much as I can, but if I need any help to go straight back to her.

I'm on day 6 of 1 a day and I'm still getting really bad symptoms. I can barely function when it's bad and I've found myself at a bit of a crossroads where I'm finding it almost impossible to cope on 1 a day and it was actually better when my dose was higher so I want to take more. But I know if I stick with it rather than giving in I'll get through this quicker and will be able to be 'normal' again.

I've read lots of the other posts about opiate recovery and I realise that I'm a real lightweight compared to most of the others. But I'm finding it a real struggle and need to talk about it but although I have 1 good friend who will listen he just can't understand how I actually feel.

Really sorry for the essay.

Thank you.

tsmba

I don' think anyone can really say, especially since you have multiple medical issues. I don't believe there is any such thing as a "lightweight", all that matters is what the drugs do to you. If you are simply dependent on the drug, you should be able to taper (which doesn't mean it will be easy). What does your doc tell you?

SuperCat

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. The doctor thinks I'm doing the right thing. And I'm aiming that by March I should be on a dose low enough to seriously think about stopping it completely.

I suppose I feel kind of daft for feeling like this when other people are much worse off. But then I'm finding it really tough. It is nice to know that there are other people out there who understand what it's like.

Kim313

Hi there. I'm new here, just joined today. Was prescribed tramadol in May 2009 for a left hip replacement surgery. I'm 38 and have a fiancee and 12 year old son and a very large and supportive family yet noone knew I never stopped taking the tramadol after my recovery. My mom works for the doctor who prescribed it to me and they both told me it wasn't addictive. 3 months after my surgery surgery my doctor told me I didn't need it anymore and within a day I thought I was losing my mind! I went online wondering what was happening and realized quickly it was tramad withdrawals. I tried to talking to my doctor and mom but they both wouldn't budge about it being non addictive. I found a site to order it online without a prescription and have been on it since then so almost 2 years at 6 - 8, 50 mg a day. I finally told my fiancee but kept insisting it was like my mom and doctor said and it wasn't addictive failing to mention what I had read on the internet and lying to him telling him I was still having slight pain from the hip surgery and it just helped and I wasn't taking it too get high which was partly true as I did nver feel any high on it. I just didn't want those withdrawals coming back. This past Thursday I woke up and I don't know what happened, which I'm still trying to figure out, but I said no more. I told my fiancee everything and that I just ran out and had 180 pills coming on Friday. I then broke down and told my sister-in-law and one girlfriend. My fiancee grabbed the pills when they were delivered and has been holding on to them. At first I told him I would wean down and so he needed to hold onto them and pass them out to me daily but then once they were here, I decided I just wanted to stop cold turkey. Its been hell...I even was on my knees begging him for just one yesterday. Today I woke up and it was a little better but I am still shaky and depressed and still want one but don't feel like I need one. My legs are still wacky and I hate that feeling and besides the 2-3 hours of sleep, the insomnia is bad too...it takes me all night getting in and out of hot baths to wear my body down to get just a few hours of sleep. I know I will get through this. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I read what others have wrote and feel better that I'm not alone. You are not alone either. I hope you get through this. It will get better. I have to believe that. It can't get worse, know that. The only way for it to get worse would be for me to take one of those devil pills again. I have to stay strong for me and my family.

Kim313

Hi there. I'm new here, just joined today. Was prescribed tramadol in May 2009 for a left hip replacement surgery. I'm 38 and have a fiancee and 12 year old son and a very large and supportive family yet noone knew I never stopped taking the tramadol after my recovery. My mom works for the doctor who prescribed it to me and they both told me it wasn't addictive. 3 months after my surgery surgery my doctor told me I didn't need it anymore and within a day I thought I was losing my mind! I went online wondering what was happening and realized quickly it was tramad withdrawals. I tried to talking to my doctor and mom but they both wouldn't budge about it being non addictive. I found a site to order it online without a prescription and have been on it since then so almost 2 years at 6 - 8, 50 mg a day. I finally told my fiancee but kept insisting it was like my mom and doctor said and it wasn't addictive failing to mention what I had read on the internet and lying to him telling him I was still having slight pain from the hip surgery and it just helped and I wasn't taking it too get high which was partly true as I did nver feel any high on it. I just didn't want those withdrawals coming back. This past Thursday I woke up and I don't know what happened, which I'm still trying to figure out, but I said no more. I told my fiancee everything and that I just ran out and had 180 pills coming on Friday. I then broke down and told my sister-in-law and one girlfriend. My fiancee grabbed the pills when they were delivered and has been holding on to them. At first I told him I would wean down and so he needed to hold onto them and pass them out to me daily but then once they were here, I decided I just wanted to stop cold turkey. Its been hell...I even was on my knees begging him for just one yesterday. Today I woke up and it was a little better but I am still shaky and depressed and still want one but don't feel like I need one. My legs are still wacky and I hate that feeling and besides the 2-3 hours of sleep, the insomnia is bad too...it takes me all night getting in and out of hot baths to wear my body down to get just a few hours of sleep. I know I will get through this. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I read what others have wrote and feel better that I'm not alone. You are not alone either. I hope you get through this. It will get better. I have to believe that. It can't get worse, know that. The only way for it to get worse would be for me to take one of those devil pills again. I have to stay strong for me and my family.

FT

Hi Kim and Supercat,

The drugs don't care who they hook, and it is possible to become addicted to any substance that makes you feel more "normal" than you feel off of it. Supercat, you are not a "lightweight", except in terms of the depths to which drug addiction can go, and "but for the Grace of God go I..." I'm glad you did not decide to step "up" to a different drug when the Tramadol failed to make you feel normal anymore. That's the hook of addictive drugs. After taking them for awhile, they no longer exert their therapeutic effect at the dose they were designed to give that effect. In other words, you end up chasing after the "effect," which as you know may NEVER have been "high" but just "not having withdrawals." It's awful to have to take a drug just for the purpose of not having withdrawals from it.

If you consider yourself a lightweight, maybe that is a good thing. Be warned away from taking other drugs that might have the ability for an even deeper hook in you. But by no means should you consider your success at reducing and eliminating your dose at anything less than fantastic. Good job.

You deserve to feel good. Your brain seeks the old "drug normal" and you should not expect to find it without the drug. Your "new normal" will be even better once you regain some of your old energy. I had to remind myself that, at one time, I felt "good" without having to use drugs.

My strong recommendation would be for you to tell your doctor (and your mom) that you have an adverse (if not allergic) reaction to these drugs. Your doctor may not want to admit to getting you hooked, deep down inside. No one wants to be responsible for doing that to you. Just tell them this is a drug that you cannot take because it gives you a bad reaction. You don't need to call it addiction. That it causes you to feel nausea, vomiting, depression, and lethargy, are not untrue.

Remove your access, like you are doing, and you will soon be where you want to be. Good for you enlisting the help of your fiance. Having someone around you that is interested in keeping you clean is a good thing.

SuperCat

Thanks for the replies. I was doing really well towards the end of last week but over the weekend has been really bad.

I'm now trying to go from taking 1 every 24hrs to 1 every 36 hours. I hope this won't be quite as bad because I'm not reducing the amount I take, just the time between taking it.

I really feel like I've messed so many things up since being on it and got to the point where I was fine on my own as long as I had my tramadol. Now I've decided I don't 'need' the tramadol I'm on a bit of a recovery mission with people I was horrible to, or over reacted to it's hard work and lots of people either don't understand or don't want to. It's very lonely but my 'old friend' the tramadol did nothing but to make me even more lonely in the long term so hopefully when I'm off it I can start forming new relationships again.

I have to admit now I've got to this point the depression is the worst thing. I don't know if it's something wrong with me or if it's the tramadol. I'm determined to keep fighting through though, I'd really like my life back.

FT

I have heard of some people using Ultram as an anti-depressant. There are also some anti-depressants that can be used mostly for their sleep effects.

I can't give you medical advice, but some doctors have tried amitriptyline, nortriptyline and the like, which are different from Prozac or SSRI type antidepressants.

Another antidepressant sometimes used for sleep it Remeron, or mirtazapine, which used in small doses helps some people sleep. It can make people gain weight, which is another of its uses.

I think you need a second opinion, as you and your doctor do not seem to agree. No one should keep you on a drug like Ultram without either helping you get off or replacing it with something that treats what's really going on with you.

SuperCat

I've read that as it's a synthetic opiate it works in the brain in a similar way to an SSRI so in coming off it you can be experiencing two sets of withdrawal symptoms. One set from the SSRI effect and the other from the opiate effect.

My doctor agrees totally with what I'm doing. She's really hard to get an appointment with, I booked one a couple of weeks ago for 2nd March! I do have some amitryplylene (Sp?) so maybe I will see if that helps me sleep. But she's keen to not add too much else into the mix whilst I'm coming off this.

I'm not too keen on getting back onto anything else too quickly. I don't want to have to go through this again in another few months. But I do see what you mean.

TheReader

Kim 313 - I just joined about 2 weeks ago and thought I was the only one on SR ordering pills online. Others must do it, but I read posts back to 2007 and found few mentioning that source as supplier. My DOC was codeine and I have been in recovery about 7 weeks now. No matter what is our DOC, our stories are all so similar, it is bizarre. We all come from different walks of life, different places, even different continents . . but we are all the same: WE ARE ADDICTS.
Supercat - This site is really great and I have benefited from reading old posts and new ones daily to realize just how many people have walked in our shoes. If you can get through the first few weeks, it really gets better regardless of your DOC.
I was watching the old movie, Fried Green Tomatoes, this weekend and it ends: "It's funny how a little place like this brought so many people together". I thought about SR when I heard that statement - most of us aren't even sure how we found SR, but, boy, are we sure glad we did.