SweetBiscuit

Well, its been some time since I have been on these boards. I had some clean time and then relapsed and picked up where I left off, life got completely unmanageable (dur) and ended up in rehab. Luckily, I was able to detox with subs in treatment from my heroin addiction among everything else under the sun.

I have been home a week today and still detoxing from the subs, joyful. Not exactly what I wanted to be doing when I got home but its not as bad as it could be that is good. Because I know an easy fix for that. Which is not what I want, that is for sure. Now, I'm home in the big bad world out of my little protective bubble. So far things are alright. Nothing major, no major triggers. Just my mourning the loss of my best friend, the drugs. I'm going to meetings. I do love my fellowship. They totally supported me up at treatment and came to meetings up there while I was there. I was lucky enough to go locally. Just need to fill my days now. With no job and lots of time on my hand. Being stuck in my head is a dangerous neighborhood to be in. There are not any NA meetings in my town during the day, and with no job there is no money so no gas to get to out of town meetings.... darn that gas fairy for flying south for the winter while I was gone.

I'm trying to let it go and give it up, and what will be will be and will happen how things are suppose to. Things will work out one way or another. May not be how I want it when I want it....but things will get done the way they are meant to, right?

Positive note, being a fully functioning 30yr old Mom to my daughter is pretty awesome. Hell just being awake during the day and not nodding out standing up or while driving is pretty nice too.

Any suggestions on filling the day while I'm looking for work and such.

Thanks

Aysha

I have been doing alot of reading, cleaning and going through closets and drawers and reorganizing things and throwing out things I dont need anymore. I also started walking and excercising. I have lost almost 40lbs since June. I have been clean since Sept 27th. And have lost 22.7 lbs since that time. I also took up crocheting. Call the hotlines for meetings. Sometimes they can ehlp with rides.
Theres a million things you can do to keep you busy. Just gotta make yourself do it. And def stay out of that mental neighborhood.
Good luck.

SweetBiscuit

Thanks. I knit. While in treatment I made little recovery bracelets for everyone who left before me. That was a great way to keep my mind and fingers busy. But yet since getting home I haven't done any knitting, yet... hmmm I should do that.

I guess I should get to that garage I don't want to even look in.. BUT you are correct I just have to make myself do it! Thank you. Sometimes I just forget that I need to keep telling myself to just do it.

Zak

It takes a good 3 months to detox from suboxone so stay close to the program, read just for today in the NA book the you should work your steps with someone, talk to others that are working on staying clean and delete all the phone numbers of contacts, also tell your Drs that you can't be on any addicting drugs.
This worked for me.
Blessings.

SweetBiscuit

Well, today was the first day I actually have been able to keep meals in... YAY for my belly. Still not pleasant but at least its food. My mood last night was way bad, super pissed off for no reason. Like a flip of the switch. I hit the meeting and did feel a little better after.

I have already spoken to my dr while in treatment about addicting drugs when I went to see them. I have another appt tomorrow. Oh joy.

But I woke up breathing again this morning and I'm still clean..so really, it was a good day all in all.