Onewithwings

So I am on another site, a private parenting forum, where I have been posting since the board started back in 2006. I am looking back at some of the things I said in my addiction, especially at some of the posts I made in desperation, before I knew help existed (SR, NA, AA, etc). It is like looking into a deep, dark well. One that you fell down once, and just remembering, and rejoicing over getting out, and the fact that you are not down there anymore.

Seriously, I am SO thankful. I look at how miserable I was-- it was awful! I am just so glad to be clean and sober today.

marni

I know what you mean onewithwings, l have kept a journal for the last 20 months.
some days l barely wrote a line while other days just about an essay. But l got through every day sober ( God knows how some days).
To read my journal now seems a bit surreal, like it didn't really happen to me but is a reminder of how dark those days were and makes me grateful for my life today, it keeps me focused on remaining sober.

The first step towards change is acceptance.
Once you accept yourself you open the door to change.
Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.
Will Garcia

MelissaNoDrugs

I think we gain a lot from looking back on our thoughts, particularly when we used. I keep a daily journal, have for years. I sometimes look at them and occasionally come across pages and pages of nothing. Blank pages. And that meant I was using, because of course when I used, the last thing I cared about was writing in my journal. Blank pages, sometimes a week or two straight. Speaks volumes on nothingness.

Onewithwings

My life was just such a mess. Seems much simpler now. I don't want to go back to that mess.