Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Drug Addiction > Substance Abuse
Reload this Page >

I desperately need help before I seriously the only 2 loved ones I have left...:(



Notices

I desperately need help before I seriously the only 2 loved ones I have left...:(

Old 01-19-2011, 07:27 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Middletown, Ohio
Posts: 1
Unhappy I desperately need help before I seriously the only 2 loved ones I have left...:(

Hi, I am 20 years old and I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in Nov. of '05 and if anyone is aware of the disease and what it comes with, you might be able to sympathize with me a little bit. Since diagnosis, I have been receiving infusion treatments every six weeks to subside the symptoms that come with the disease.(Weight loss, appetite loss, diarrhea, rectal bleeding, skin lesions.. AND PAIN.....TERRORIZING PAIN!!.. just to name a few) So, naturally I have been prescribed narcotic pain relievers to subside that symptom between treatments. At first I was receiving a very small dosage of hydrocodone(vicodin), and have since then, been increased to 7.5 mg oxycodone(percocet) in the last 5 years. While I was taking the small dosage of vicodin, I was very nervous and scared at what the side-effects may be and was very cautious in taking them...taking them as prescribed. As my body grew an immunity to the medication from taking it regularly, i naturally graduated to more potent medicine which is the percocet I am taking now.
It would be a very very very safe assumption to say that I am now fully addicted to prescription narcotics, due to the withdrawal symptoms I experience when I run out of them. I would even go as far as to say that I do abuse the medicine. I know I am not the only one who has experienced the euphoric feeling that comes with narcotics. Whenever I do take the pills, I just feel "right" or "normal" as if I am how I am supposed to be when I do take them, which happens to be significantly more than i am prescribed. When i receive my refill, i take approximately 4-7 pills per day. And like I said before, I do this because the "buzz" keeps me in check and feeling how I want and how my mind thinks I need to feel. I just seem to be a much nicer and alert person when I take them. During my 8 hour work shift, I take 4 pills, which is every two hours and then one more pill when I get back home and into bed to fall asleep to.
The emotional and physical strain that i have put on myself now, should have never came about and could have been prevented. I have been hiding my conscious addiction from my mother and fiance up until 2 nights ago when I told them both that I am well aware that I am dependent on pills and that I was experiencing horrible withdrawals at the time. It had to be one of the hardest conversations I have ever had with my fiance because i just feel that she is the main person that i have, that i need to be the best for. And being a drug addict doesn't accomplish that at all. Telling my mother was fairly easier because of the fact that she knows that drug dependency is a gene that runs in my family and was somewhat inevitable.
This addiction becomes so expensive because of the fact that i take a high dosage of a powerful pill which ends up being very high priced "on the streets". i have found a couple people at my new job that i can buy them off of but am still not able to get any significant discount...
I am begging anyone who will read this to please please please please help me in anyway possible, because i can't go on living my life like this and end up hurting the two most important, and only two people that i have left in my life... but most of all myself. i am well aware of the health risks that go along with it and since i face a life-long disease every single day, i most-certainly don't need the stress of "how am i going to find my next buzz" everyday on top of it. Any feedback would be so greatly appreciated because i am honestly searching for ANY type of plan of action or resolution to my terrible problem. the only problem i have is not being financially able to be distant from my job to participate in a rehab or detox program.
If anything, please just simply pray for me because if i can overcome this, i will have my mind set that i can honestly do anything and i will finally be able to live the semi-stress-free lifestyle that everyone on the face of the planet longs to have. God bless and please respond soon... i am on my last leg here...
lifesalvation90 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:02 AM.