This habit needs to go, I have a great life ahead of me!
Gotta Kick This Habbit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 8
This habit needs to go, I have a great life ahead of me!
Hello everyone.
I have a problem with taking prescription pain killers, and I have been on all kinds of different narcotics on/off for the past 3 years or so. I am living a good life, have a great family, and I am a senior in college, but I have this tremendous burden over me.
This is my first post, and I think this site can really help me because I am terrified to speak of this problem to my parents (they are unaware) and I feel like I can express myself here and get some help. I have been thinking about going to talk to my Doctor but I am terrified to dothat. I want to try and quit on my own first. worst case scenario would be to speak to my Doctor. I have been reading posts here for a few hours now and I am amazed by the warmth and support you all offer. Over the past week I have been taking on avg. anywhere from 5 to 10 oxycodone 10mg on a daily basis throughout the day. I am sick of doing this to myself, and throwing all my money away. The week before that, I ingested 6 to 7 oxy 40mg over a 2-3 day period. Before that I was doing a 40mg opana a day for about 2 weeks. The w/d from the opana is almost instantaneous and left me with severe diahrrea and occasional vomiting for a day or so. I just want to be able to stop this and continue a normal life without having to search for pills every day and fear not being able to find them. The w/d over that 4 day period was indeed tough. I could feel myself going through peaks and valleys and had constant discomfort and would get cold chills from time to time. It sucks big time, but I am a strong enough person to fight this.
Just please, anyone, give me advice on how I can come out on top and make it through this storm. I have had enough screwing around and I need to grow up. It is easy to say these things, to have that positive mindset, but I have no idea why it is so difficult to commit to living a sober life.
I have mood swings from time to time, and have gone through a personality change that my friends and others can notice. I do not act or feel the same as I used to, or go out or do anything anymore. I do however go to class and study, and have a small part time job. Those are positive aspects of my life. I know my family would support me through this, but for them to find this out would be the biggest disappointment for them in their lives. Especially since my uncle died from alcohol abuse and both my grandparents passed away last year.
Over the past few years on/off I will take whatever I can find, and usually within a day I can find some pills and would settle for anything (oxycodone 5mg, 10 mg, hydrocodone 10mg, opana 20mg, 40mg, oxycontin 80mg).
When I used a couple years ago it was only recreational. 10mg hydrocodone but the habit became routine until I noticed myself taking them everyday to help work and school go by easier. I was not in any actual pain to be taking them in the first place. I would enjoy taking them and play video games like I do now. It was my early in my Jr. year that I began to build up a tolerance.
My New Year's resolution on Jan 1st was to come clean, and stop using before my school semester started on the 10th. I was sober for a few days till I used on the 4th when I came back to school. I live in an apartment off campus and being bored a lot of the times makes me go back to the old ways.
I really need help to quit for my family, my friends, and for my life in general. Over those 4 days, I did experience pain, extreme boredom, I could not sleep to save my life. I ended up lying down on the floor to try and sleep because I could not stop tossing and turning in my bed at home.
I want to have a fresh start tomorrow and try to proceed my life sober from this point on and I need advice from everyone on how to succeed with being clean!!!!
I am sincerely sorry for all the rambling, but I think you all want to help, and at this point in time I need advice to be able to get back on my feet and kick this disgusting habit that is ruining my life.
I have a problem with taking prescription pain killers, and I have been on all kinds of different narcotics on/off for the past 3 years or so. I am living a good life, have a great family, and I am a senior in college, but I have this tremendous burden over me.
This is my first post, and I think this site can really help me because I am terrified to speak of this problem to my parents (they are unaware) and I feel like I can express myself here and get some help. I have been thinking about going to talk to my Doctor but I am terrified to dothat. I want to try and quit on my own first. worst case scenario would be to speak to my Doctor. I have been reading posts here for a few hours now and I am amazed by the warmth and support you all offer. Over the past week I have been taking on avg. anywhere from 5 to 10 oxycodone 10mg on a daily basis throughout the day. I am sick of doing this to myself, and throwing all my money away. The week before that, I ingested 6 to 7 oxy 40mg over a 2-3 day period. Before that I was doing a 40mg opana a day for about 2 weeks. The w/d from the opana is almost instantaneous and left me with severe diahrrea and occasional vomiting for a day or so. I just want to be able to stop this and continue a normal life without having to search for pills every day and fear not being able to find them. The w/d over that 4 day period was indeed tough. I could feel myself going through peaks and valleys and had constant discomfort and would get cold chills from time to time. It sucks big time, but I am a strong enough person to fight this.
Just please, anyone, give me advice on how I can come out on top and make it through this storm. I have had enough screwing around and I need to grow up. It is easy to say these things, to have that positive mindset, but I have no idea why it is so difficult to commit to living a sober life.
I have mood swings from time to time, and have gone through a personality change that my friends and others can notice. I do not act or feel the same as I used to, or go out or do anything anymore. I do however go to class and study, and have a small part time job. Those are positive aspects of my life. I know my family would support me through this, but for them to find this out would be the biggest disappointment for them in their lives. Especially since my uncle died from alcohol abuse and both my grandparents passed away last year.
Over the past few years on/off I will take whatever I can find, and usually within a day I can find some pills and would settle for anything (oxycodone 5mg, 10 mg, hydrocodone 10mg, opana 20mg, 40mg, oxycontin 80mg).
When I used a couple years ago it was only recreational. 10mg hydrocodone but the habit became routine until I noticed myself taking them everyday to help work and school go by easier. I was not in any actual pain to be taking them in the first place. I would enjoy taking them and play video games like I do now. It was my early in my Jr. year that I began to build up a tolerance.
My New Year's resolution on Jan 1st was to come clean, and stop using before my school semester started on the 10th. I was sober for a few days till I used on the 4th when I came back to school. I live in an apartment off campus and being bored a lot of the times makes me go back to the old ways.
I really need help to quit for my family, my friends, and for my life in general. Over those 4 days, I did experience pain, extreme boredom, I could not sleep to save my life. I ended up lying down on the floor to try and sleep because I could not stop tossing and turning in my bed at home.
I want to have a fresh start tomorrow and try to proceed my life sober from this point on and I need advice from everyone on how to succeed with being clean!!!!
I am sincerely sorry for all the rambling, but I think you all want to help, and at this point in time I need advice to be able to get back on my feet and kick this disgusting habit that is ruining my life.
Gotta Kick This Habbit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 8
I am only 22 years old and have headed down this path for long enough. A friend of mine that is also addicted to oxycodone started taking suboxone strips and he says that it has taken away his wanting to actually take a percocet. He also says that the withdrawal symptoms are not nearly as strong as quitting cold turkey. If that is true its because the suboxone is an opiate (just like methadone), and you will get high off of it instead of taking oxycodone.
Am I right or wrong?
I am wondering if I grew the balls to confront my doctor about my addiction problem if it would be a good idea to ask about suboxone?
Any thoughts, comments, or considerations?
Am I right or wrong?
I am wondering if I grew the balls to confront my doctor about my addiction problem if it would be a good idea to ask about suboxone?
Any thoughts, comments, or considerations?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Ntoxicated
I think it's a great idea to ask your Dr about all of this, ask their advice as to treatment, and avoid any misconceptions.
If your Dr doesn't know, find one who does
Welcome to SR
D
I think it's a great idea to ask your Dr about all of this, ask their advice as to treatment, and avoid any misconceptions.
If your Dr doesn't know, find one who does
Welcome to SR
D
)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 96
Welcome.
Dee is so right about going to a Dr for a proper detox plan.
This can done done though and you only have to do it once.
Believe me, it only gets harder the longer you use. Detox seems to be like compound interest every time you go back.
Good luck & I'm proof that this can be done.
SH
Dee is so right about going to a Dr for a proper detox plan.
This can done done though and you only have to do it once.
Believe me, it only gets harder the longer you use. Detox seems to be like compound interest every time you go back.
Good luck & I'm proof that this can be done.
SH
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
I know my family would support me through this, but for them to find this out would be the biggest disappointment for them in their lives. Especially since my uncle died from alcohol abuse and both my grandparents passed away last year.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 268
Hello - I would read what others are experiencing on the Suboxone area of this site to get an idea of what that entails.
Personally I prefer the horrible opiate withdrawals that last several days to weeks - not only is it a bit of a deterrent, but from what I read, Suboxone is a drag to come off of and it takes a long long time.
When I was 22 the very last thing in the world I experienced was boredom - I was having so much fun at that time in my life. So, maybe once you get through the physical, mental and emotional detox you will go back to being your old self, without the mood swings.
I know that early in my opiate usage I think I could have quit without too much trouble, but once I crossed the invisible line into full-on addiction - well, it's Hell for sure.
Get out now while you still can.
Keep posting - this is helping many people.
Personally I prefer the horrible opiate withdrawals that last several days to weeks - not only is it a bit of a deterrent, but from what I read, Suboxone is a drag to come off of and it takes a long long time.
When I was 22 the very last thing in the world I experienced was boredom - I was having so much fun at that time in my life. So, maybe once you get through the physical, mental and emotional detox you will go back to being your old self, without the mood swings.
I know that early in my opiate usage I think I could have quit without too much trouble, but once I crossed the invisible line into full-on addiction - well, it's Hell for sure.
Get out now while you still can.
Keep posting - this is helping many people.
Juggernaut of self will
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 66
Welcome aboard. You are well on your way to a better life!
I totally agree with what Nacona said on the suboxne. Be sure to fully research that before you start. I would hate to try and quit one opiate only to be hooked on another, high or no high.
I like several others on this thread quit cold turkey. It sucked, but I got through it. The best part is you do not have to do it alone. There are people on these forums, and in the rooms of NA/AA that are there to help.
Keep reading up on the threads posted here. That is what helped me. I went through story after story of oxycodone addiction, and it let me know I was not alone, and that I could recover. I know you can too.
Best of luck on the beginning of your new life
I totally agree with what Nacona said on the suboxne. Be sure to fully research that before you start. I would hate to try and quit one opiate only to be hooked on another, high or no high.
I like several others on this thread quit cold turkey. It sucked, but I got through it. The best part is you do not have to do it alone. There are people on these forums, and in the rooms of NA/AA that are there to help.
Keep reading up on the threads posted here. That is what helped me. I went through story after story of oxycodone addiction, and it let me know I was not alone, and that I could recover. I know you can too.
Best of luck on the beginning of your new life
Gotta Kick This Habbit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 8
thanks everyone...from the looks of it this forum has a lot of helpful insight. I am glad that everyone here has the same mentality of trying to get clean. I will keep you all posted on my progress.
I have not used the chat rooms yet, but can you talk to people on there about your addiction and get direct advise that way talking to others going through the same thing??
I have not used the chat rooms yet, but can you talk to people on there about your addiction and get direct advise that way talking to others going through the same thing??
Gotta Kick This Habbit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 8
Karma, do you drive a street bike?
Your emblem looks like a cbr 600, I had a 2008 CBR600RR graffiti edition I purchased brand new back in 2008. I sold it a month ago for 5500...I wish I never sold it because I loved that thing...I just needed the money and I was unemployed at the time, could not pay insurance anymore and I needed the money for when christmas came around so I could buy gifts for my family and have money for the things I need.
I have wasted a lot of the money on buying pills...almost 1500 worth probably even more............what can I do to help myself stop wasting my money on pot and pills???
I am working part time now on campus and that is good for me....but I need to quit being a dumbass and buring my money on pointless things...I am more worried about finding drugs than I am grocery shopping!! It is bad
Your emblem looks like a cbr 600, I had a 2008 CBR600RR graffiti edition I purchased brand new back in 2008. I sold it a month ago for 5500...I wish I never sold it because I loved that thing...I just needed the money and I was unemployed at the time, could not pay insurance anymore and I needed the money for when christmas came around so I could buy gifts for my family and have money for the things I need.
I have wasted a lot of the money on buying pills...almost 1500 worth probably even more............what can I do to help myself stop wasting my money on pot and pills???
I am working part time now on campus and that is good for me....but I need to quit being a dumbass and buring my money on pointless things...I am more worried about finding drugs than I am grocery shopping!! It is bad
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
We're a peer support group here Ntox - that means we share our experience but
we don't allow medical advice.
Our full list of policies is here: the medical advice rule is #10.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html
They hold true for all areas of the site - the forums, chat and blogs
D
we don't allow medical advice.
Our full list of policies is here: the medical advice rule is #10.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html
They hold true for all areas of the site - the forums, chat and blogs
D
Gotta Kick This Habbit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 8
Dee, I appologize if I have said anything against the websites policy.
I am good at following rules, but if I have said anything innappropriate what was it?
that way I know to be more aware of what to say next time
I am good at following rules, but if I have said anything innappropriate what was it?
that way I know to be more aware of what to say next time
Gotta Kick This Habbit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 8
Also, Dee. When you say I should speak to a doctor but avoid any misconceptions what do you mean? I wouldn't personally even know how to express this to my doctor, he is my family doctor that I have been going to all my life. He knows me and my family by name.
How should I confront him without sounding like a total loser? I am really afraid of the outcome
How should I confront him without sounding like a total loser? I am really afraid of the outcome
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