Patk

Hello Everyone,

I have gotten to Step 7 and that was about 2 years ago. I don't have a sponsor because I live in Japan, and in this rural area there is no English speaking AA groups. Did my step 5 with a friend of mine who is an American Catholic priest in a nearby city in Japan, and that was two years ago. Have not been able to kep sober since I did that.

I am trying to proceed with the steps. One reason I have felt unable to proceed was being very underemployed these past 2 years and not able to make a financial amend (about $400) to friends in Canada. I thought today that I might have some other amends and want some advice.

In 2000 when I was still living in Canada I slashed the car tires of two people. One of the cars was of a friend and the other of a man who I played mens' ice hockey with for about 3 months.

I have not talked to the friend for at least 15 years and the other guy I have not seen since I stop playing ice hockey with him in 1995. Not sure how would go about making these amends?

Patk

neonxpolkaxdots

Step 8 is ONLY a list. It's easy to get ahead of ourselves and want to make or avoid making amends but stay in the present and just make the list of those you've harmed.

Make sure to work the steps in order and if you drank then start them over.

Remember, its the first drink that gets you drunk so dont take the first drink.

As for your question. Work on the easiest amends first. The ones that are right in front of you. Prayer is asking god and meditation is god answering. So, pray and meditate. Also, some people choose to take the money that they would have given to the person they harmed and pay it to a charity or use it for some other good. This also makes me think of a living amend. Don't repeat the action. Stay sober and dont do those things to another person and you will be making a living amend. Think of an amend as saying threee things "I'm sorry, I was wrong, what can i do to make it better?". You can't appologize and admit you're wrong to the people you harmed and you dont know what the person would want you to do to make it better but you can help not make it worse by not doing the same thing again.

I hope this helped and good luck :]

susanlauren

PatK,
One of the things I did was searched for folks from the past that I owed amends to via Google, Facebook, real estate property records, etc. You would be amazed at who you can find in this way. It may take some persistence, but we are to do our utmost to clear away the wreckage of our pasts. Also, if you know people who know these folks, you may be able to obtain contact information that way. Pray about finding these folks. God will bring people back into your life that you haven't seen for years so you can make the amends you need to make.
Susan

TheJungianThing

I had pretty much the same experience but it wasn't a friend and I honestly don't remember the person's name, there were two cars.

1. If I run into them, I'm willing to make amends.
2. The cost of tires is easily discernible until such time I run into them I have contributed the cost of tires to charity organizations.
3. I don't slash tires anymore. In fact, that was the only time.