miamifella

I was doing well. In my drug use, it was always under my own initiative and usually alone....with few exceptions.

Today I got a call from a former using buddy asking me to join him.

Now my mind is with him and the drug. I had never really thought about this and did not expect it. Now I feel like it all can go to pieces because my mind is there. I have some idea of how to protect myself against my self--but now I realize there is a world out there that can get to me.

My phone is off for the night.

dreamscape

It's like this.

Hello...... you wanna do what?

....... I'm clean now and doing good , so **** off and don't phone me anymore!

Onewithwings

I know everyone's recovery is different, so this is just my own experience, but I could not resist the urge to use until the obsession to use was removed. By that, I mean that when I was obsessed with drugs, no one could keep me clean. When the obsession was lifted (through no power of my own, because boy, was I obsessed!) no one could make me use. I have only just recently picked up 90 days, but I feel strong. I can hear about drugs and not obsess, and I can "just say no". Perhaps a part of you still has that obsession? Do you have any reservations about never using again (a day at a time)? I know that, for me, I had to be rid of ALL reservations, or I would continue to relapse. There were holes in my program, and I just fell right through them.

Glad you turned your phone off, you are at least not taking this. In my experience, it was the obsession that took me down, time and time again. I commend you for not using, and encourage you to take a look at your recovery and determine what reservations you might have that are feeding this obsession.

Good luck, and I hope you found this helpful!

Marshgirl

You did the right thing by turning the phone off. Through rehab, NA and my therapist I learned a lot about making changes. I learned to change my ways and my routines because the obsession will creep right back in. I changed when I got up, what I did when I got home from work and even when I took my medicine (pills were my DOC). I even rebooted my computer removing bookmarks and "internet history" to leave my "dealers." I wish I could say the thoughts always stay away, but for me they come and go. Interestingly, I have 14 days to one year and craved more lately than ever. I change my routine and do something, anything that is not "drug related." You are doing all the right things by turning off the phone. For me, I always focus on just for today and then hit a meeting. I have to keep myself focused on the prize.

DO NOT let your guard done for one second. The NA phrase is being blocked in my old head, but there is a saying about always being conscious of your addiction. I am so glad you were on top of yours...might want to consider changing your number. Good luck my friend and congratulations. You gave me strength for today. Hug Hug!

BrokenChains

Definitely keep the phone off.

That is what I do many days when my former friends are trying to pull me backwards.