dratsab

This is more of a rant than anything else...

I'm still hanging in there. I've been sober for 60 days now. In some ways it seems like it's been a long time. It also feels like it's not very much time at all. I think it's because I've still got a long ways o go in my recovery.

Something I've been thinking about a lot today has been about how I'm still having strong cravings. It doesn't happen nearly as often as it used to... but I just seek to get into a funk somedays. And the thought that seems to be stentor nagging awe at me is the idea that I could aleviate these feelings by using. Its a bit annoying to feel this way because I've been feeling pretty good lately, and I haven't really had any cravings. It's like this feeling is coming out of nowhere.

I'm not even sure what s causny my funky feeling. I'm not really depressed (I suffer from constant mild depression), and I've got plenty of things Incan do to keep me busy (though I've been feeling like putting those things off today). I think I just feel like I need a break. Whatver it is... I don't like it.

Dee74

Hi dratsab

Some of us use or drink for years. Still seems a tall order to me to expect everything to change around for good in 60 days.

this maybe of interest to you
PAWS « Digital Dharma

I dunno about anyone else, and I dunno what you've been doing dratsab but I had to do more than stay sober and clean to lose those cravings.

Some use NA, some go to church...I worked really hard on myself and the void I tried to fill with booze and drugs.

I grew a lot in my recovery - I know I'm a different person than the guy I used to be.

It's worked out for me for nearly 4 years now
D

dratsab

Thanks Dee,

I totally understand and agree with you about there being a difference between being sober and going through revovery. I tried the just get sober with willpower alone many time and have failed at that every time.

This time around I'm taking a multi-pronged approach at my recovery: rehab (I'm currently in continuing care), indvidual therapy, 12 step, Smart Recovery, books, Internet forums.

So I know that it will take a while for me to get better and that PAWS will be an issue for about two more years. I guess I was just bummed about having a bad couple of days out of nowhere when I've been feeling pretty good for the last week or so. I think I was just feeling so confident about my recovery that I got disappointed by the inevitable.

I think I should look at it as a good thing. One of my biggest fears has been that I'll become too complacent about my recovery and will become more
Vulnerable for a relapse. These bad days will just keep me on my toes.

Impurrfect

(((Dratsab))) - I've got over 3-1/2 years in recovery and I still get in a funk, every now and then. In fact, I was in a pretty good one on Thanksgiving day. I no longer crave the crack that practically destroyed me, but I still have those feelings of "I just want to be numb". I watched TV, a marathon of one of my favorite shows, then finally made myself log on here, and then I was fine.

I'm still broke, still have a job I can't stand, BUT I'm in recovery, and I've learned to look at all I have to be grateful for, and that helps. A dear friend of mine, here, has always said "the difference between a bad day and a good day is...about 2 days" and experience has shown me she's right.

Good for you on 60 days!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy